think?”
“Yeah.” I frown, staring at our entwined fingers. “This isn’t something I ever thought I’d
have, but weirdly, it’s not bad.”
“What? A bond?”
“Yeah.”
T chuckles. “Uh oh! You’re a comittmentphobe aren’t you?”
“Not by choice exactly. I’ve just accepted my lot.”
T’s
expression changes to confusion. “Your
lot?”
“Well, yeah, I mean, it’s not like I can have a mate, so I never
thought I could have a bond with someone either. Actually, that’s not strictly
true, I have a bond with my father so he can help me keep control, but I keep
it closed, he doesn’t need my darkness in his head...” I
trail off when I notice T has stopped and is looking at me like I’m speaking in
tongues. “What?”
He runs his
fingers through his hair and opens his mouth to speak out loud. “Okay you’re
going to have to explain. You ‘can’t’ have a mate? Why exactly is that?”
“Well, you
know...” I start. Clearly he doesn’t know, from the look on his face, it’s like
he has no clue at all what I’m talking about. “Because of what I am.” Because of what WE are , I think to
myself. God I wish this was easier to talk about. When you keep something
locked down your entire life, it’s a big step opening up about it and to a
stranger no less. But this bond makes it different. I feel connected to him on
a level I can’t explain.
“Because you’re
gay?” He seems unable to fathom what the problem could be.
“No, not
because I’m gay and actually, I’m bi.”
“Good to
know.” He smirks. “But, go back a bit, why can’t you have a mate? What
darkness? And what does your dad have to help you control?”
“He doesn’t
really; I can control it by myself, mostly. Well, until you came along.” I find
myself rambling and look up to see T’s confusion only seems to have
intensified.
“You need to
slow down Max. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking
about what I am.”
“Pure blood,
so?”
I blow out a
long breath, relieved he said it, not me. “So, I need to keep it under control.”
“Because?”
“Because I
don’t want it to be who I am. I don’t want it to consume me.”
“Okay,” he
says slowly. He thinks for a long moment. “What was your mother protecting you
from?”
“My father.”
He waits,
expecting more.
I sigh. “You
really want to know?”
“Yes.” He
smiles.
The warmth of
his smile gives me courage and I feel ready for the first time to talk to
someone other than Valentina about my past. “How much do you want to know?”
He stops
walking for a moment. Squeezing my hand and looking straight into my eyes. “I
want to know all of you.”
I squeeze his
hand back. “Ok, but you’ll have to bear with me; I don’t usually talk about
this.”
His thumb
strokes the back of my hand for comfort and he waits patiently.
“I guess I’ll
just tell it like it was told to me. I hope you’ve got all night.”
“I have at
least two miles, City Boy.”
Okay.” I take
a deep breath. “A woman came to the bank one day. She had wanted to open a safe
deposit box, she was human as far as the clerk could tell, but had asked for my
father by name. He was intrigued as to why a human was asking for him.
“Anyway, Dad
agreed to speak to the woman and left his office to find her. She was waiting for him
in the lobby and as he always tells me, when he came down the stairs, she took
his breath away.” I smile. I know he always makes a point of how beautiful she
was to enforce her good spirit in my mind’s eye. I love him for that because it
works. When I try to imagine her, he has almost turned her into a deity in my
mind.
“She was
pretty?”
“Beautiful,
so he says. He knew right away why the young, inexperienced clerk had read her
wrong. A shifter of her calibre can appear as whatever they see fit, so he had
no way of knowing. But she revealed the truth of what she was to my father as
their eyes met and
“Yeah.” I frown, staring at our entwined fingers. “This isn’t something I ever thought I’d
have, but weirdly, it’s not bad.”
“What? A bond?”
“Yeah.”
T chuckles. “Uh oh! You’re a comittmentphobe aren’t you?”
“Not by choice exactly. I’ve just accepted my lot.”
T’s
expression changes to confusion. “Your
lot?”
“Well, yeah, I mean, it’s not like I can have a mate, so I never
thought I could have a bond with someone either. Actually, that’s not strictly
true, I have a bond with my father so he can help me keep control, but I keep
it closed, he doesn’t need my darkness in his head...” I
trail off when I notice T has stopped and is looking at me like I’m speaking in
tongues. “What?”
He runs his
fingers through his hair and opens his mouth to speak out loud. “Okay you’re
going to have to explain. You ‘can’t’ have a mate? Why exactly is that?”
“Well, you
know...” I start. Clearly he doesn’t know, from the look on his face, it’s like
he has no clue at all what I’m talking about. “Because of what I am.” Because of what WE are , I think to
myself. God I wish this was easier to talk about. When you keep something
locked down your entire life, it’s a big step opening up about it and to a
stranger no less. But this bond makes it different. I feel connected to him on
a level I can’t explain.
“Because you’re
gay?” He seems unable to fathom what the problem could be.
“No, not
because I’m gay and actually, I’m bi.”
“Good to
know.” He smirks. “But, go back a bit, why can’t you have a mate? What
darkness? And what does your dad have to help you control?”
“He doesn’t
really; I can control it by myself, mostly. Well, until you came along.” I find
myself rambling and look up to see T’s confusion only seems to have
intensified.
“You need to
slow down Max. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking
about what I am.”
“Pure blood,
so?”
I blow out a
long breath, relieved he said it, not me. “So, I need to keep it under control.”
“Because?”
“Because I
don’t want it to be who I am. I don’t want it to consume me.”
“Okay,” he
says slowly. He thinks for a long moment. “What was your mother protecting you
from?”
“My father.”
He waits,
expecting more.
I sigh. “You
really want to know?”
“Yes.” He
smiles.
The warmth of
his smile gives me courage and I feel ready for the first time to talk to
someone other than Valentina about my past. “How much do you want to know?”
He stops
walking for a moment. Squeezing my hand and looking straight into my eyes. “I
want to know all of you.”
I squeeze his
hand back. “Ok, but you’ll have to bear with me; I don’t usually talk about
this.”
His thumb
strokes the back of my hand for comfort and he waits patiently.
“I guess I’ll
just tell it like it was told to me. I hope you’ve got all night.”
“I have at
least two miles, City Boy.”
Okay.” I take
a deep breath. “A woman came to the bank one day. She had wanted to open a safe
deposit box, she was human as far as the clerk could tell, but had asked for my
father by name. He was intrigued as to why a human was asking for him.
“Anyway, Dad
agreed to speak to the woman and left his office to find her. She was waiting for him
in the lobby and as he always tells me, when he came down the stairs, she took
his breath away.” I smile. I know he always makes a point of how beautiful she
was to enforce her good spirit in my mind’s eye. I love him for that because it
works. When I try to imagine her, he has almost turned her into a deity in my
mind.
“She was
pretty?”
“Beautiful,
so he says. He knew right away why the young, inexperienced clerk had read her
wrong. A shifter of her calibre can appear as whatever they see fit, so he had
no way of knowing. But she revealed the truth of what she was to my father as
their eyes met and
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