The Break-Up Psychic

The Break-Up Psychic by Emily Hemmer

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Authors: Emily Hemmer
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coffee and dessert back at his place and, feeling a little guilty about cutting his time with the moths short, I agree to go. As we approach the dimly lit front porch of his house, I text Luanne his address so she’ll know where to send the CSI team.
    Ellery flips on the lights and tells me to have a seat on the sofa while he goes to get the coffee and dessert. I avoid a questionable stain on one of the cushions and perch hesitantly at the far end. There’s no television in the room and no pictures of family that I can see. The place is tidy but I wouldn’t call it clean. The air smells a bit musty and it’s rather humid inside even though the air conditioning is on.
    A large tank is resting on a table in one corner of the room and I stand, moving gingerly toward it. I slowly lift away a corner of the threadbare towel which has been draped over the top, hiding whatever’s inside. At first I think it’s a hose of some kind, coiled up for storage, then it moves. I jump back, frightened, and the towel falls to the floor. Inside the tank is a long, thick snake. Its black body moves against the glass as its head rises and a forked tongue darts out to smell me.
    “Hi,” I say, careful not to get any closer. “Don’t eat me, okay?”
    The snake sticks out its tongue in response.
    “I see you’ve met Gloria,” says Ellery, startling me as he reenters the room. “She’s a Mexican Black Kingsnake . Isn’t she magnificent?”
    “What does it eat?” I ask. Please don’t say people, please don’t say people…
    “She’s a carnivore, so I give her a nice frozen mouse once or twice a week.”
    “How nice,” I say, backing away from the meat-eating reptile.
    “Cake?” Ellery’s laid out a rather dry looking pound cake and two cups of black coffee. I notice that he’s dimmed the lights a bit and, as I reclaim my position on the sofa, he uses a remote control to turn on some music which sounds more like people crying.
    “Do you like it?” he asks. “It’s the mating song of a South African tribe. It’s supposed to arouse the libido and bring forth fertility.”
    Okay, I’ve had enough. “Actually, Ellery, I think I’d better be getting back now. I have to work in the morning and you probably have big plans with your snake, so…if you could just drive me home, that would be great.”
    Ellery ignores my request and instead leans in closer to me, whispering, “Hey, hey, hey, what’s the rush? I think we should get to know one another a little bit better. Tell you what, how about a foot rub?”
    Taking advantage of my shock, he reaches down and deftly removes my shoes, grabbing my right ankle and pulling it into his lap, much too close to his groin for my comfort.
    “I don’t think—” I start.
    “Hush now, little dove. Just lie back and relax. I promise…you’ll thank me for it,” he says, fingers pressing and swirling into the balls of my feet. His big eyes wink clumsily at me.
    “I’m not really a big fan of foot rubs, so…” I try to pull my leg out of his grasp.
    “ Shhh , don’t worry about a thing. Just close your eyes and enjoy the sensations I’m bringing to your feet.”
    As skeeved out as I am at this moment, I have to give the guy some credit, he knows how to rub a foot. I slowly lean back into the cushions and close my eyes, unable to watch as Ellery lavishes attention on my naked feet. I think of Brook and of my plans to have Amber make her into a voodoo doll.
    I try relaxing into the foot rub, willing my ears to ignore the ritual mating sounds of a South African people, but something warm and wet has suddenly enveloped my big toe. I snap my eyes open and find Ellery, head down in full toe-sucking euphoria.
    “What the hell are you doing?” I squeal, tying to yank my foot out of his enthusiastic mouth.
    I accidentally kick him in the face as I struggle to remove my poor abused foot from the grip of his jaws. He drops the foot and brings both hands to his nose, howling in pain. I

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