The Boy No One Loved by Casey Watson

of worrying, isn’t it, love? And they need to understand about some of the things that have happened to you so that they can help you too. As well as me …’ I stopped then. In fact, I was literally stopped in my tracks, because Justin was staring at me and his face had completely changed. Even though I knew that at any moment there’d be a huge eruption, I just couldn’t help but be mesmerised by his expression. I’d never seen anything quite like it – before or since. It was honestly like looking at one of those horror films, in which a human morphed into a werewolf in slow motion. His eyebrows lowered and seemed to merge into one long angry line, while his eyes darkened – really darkened; almost to black. His cheekbones became prominent and his mouth curled into a kind of sneer. I had to keep telling myself he’s just a child, he’s just eleven, that’s all – because it really was that chilling to observe.
    He slowly raised his head – here it comes, I thought, here it comes – placed both hands on the table, rose, and pushed his chair back.
    ‘Don’t worry, Justin,’ I tried. ‘They won’t tell anyone. It’s confidential. They won’t do anything to get you into trouble. You’re not in trouble. They just want to help you. We all do!’
    ‘You fucking bitch,’ he said quietly. In fact, his voice was astonishingly level. Even so, I knew this could very soon get ugly.
    ‘Justin,’ I said firmly. ‘Please don’t speak to me like that. You’ll lose points now, and that’s such a shame. You’ve done so well so far today.’ I was clutching at straws and I knew it.
    ‘Fuck the points,’ he growled at me. ‘And fuck you too. You said I could trust you!’
    ‘But you can !’
    ‘No I can’t! You’re a liar. A fucking liar! Why did you have to tell them? Why? I’m not staying here.’ He kicked the chair out of his way. ‘I’m not staying! You’re just like my mother!’
    He then grabbed his plate – smash . It hit the kitchen wall, hard, and I ducked out of the way simultaneously, instinctively, even though I could see that, thank God, he hadn’t actually aimed it at me. That sort of aggression, I reflected, even in the midst of what was happening, might have proved a step way too far to get back from. But then, I’d yet to know what was still to come.
    He started punching the table now, with clenched fists, making the rest of the things on it dance and clatter across the surface, like flotsam and jetsam on a stormy sea.
    I snatched up my own plate, before it too was smashed into pieces. ‘Justin!’ I had raised my voice now. I had to stay calm but in charge. ‘Go to your room until you’re calm! I will not speak to you while you’re reacting like this.’ I picked up his milk glass, as well. ‘I know you’re angry,’ I went on. ‘I understand that. And I’m sorry you feel that way, I really am. But I will not have you speaking or behaving in this manner. Go on!’ I finished, trying to inject my voice with maximum authority. ‘Move it, okay. Move it now !’
    Please, I thought, watching him decide whether to obey me. Please , I thought, don’t make this any worse. Just go . But I could sense his indecision so I rammed my point home again. ‘Justin, I am not going to talk to myself here! Room !’ I jabbed a finger towards the door. ‘Room, now !’
    That did it. He stormed to his room, slamming every door he walked through, screaming obscenities as he went.
    I touched my chest. My heart was pumping like a train. It was as if the whole fabric of the house was shuddering.
     
     
    After I’d cleared up the broken crockery and re-established some sort of order, I sat in the kitchen for some time, feeling terrible. I had had to tell – it was my job to pass on things like this – but I felt I’d gone about things all wrong. Surely I could have prepared Justin more, or found a better way to tell him what had had to happen. It really brought it home to me how much I still