centered upon the depression and contraction of her muscles. It was hoped by the scientist that this work would stand him in good stead when the external features of the cat were studied by him next semester in comparative anatomy.
3. The offense was intentional.
(handwritten by The Boo ) Sad Too Bad Not The Fad 3/5
SUBJECT:
Explanation of Circumstances: “Appearing at an unexpected hour, at an unauthorized dwelling, without written permission, or an oral invitation,” May 17, 1962.
TO:
The Commandant of Cadets.
1. The report is correct.
2. Sir, it is with much respect and humble gratitude that I appear before you in this manner tonight. My story is a sad one, and it is written with tears in my eyes. The truth is, Sir, I am a poor, ugly orphan child with feet that resemble a chicken’s. For four long years I have lived here at The Citadel in shame and utter humiliation. For you see, Sir, I am what you might call an “ugly duckling” or a “gross slob.” The few dear friends that I once had, have all turned their backs on me. My parents disowned me when I was old enough to eat porridge with my fingers. With my personal appearance, ghoulish as it is, to go along with my equally warped mind you can easily see that my chances in life are very, very slim indeed. So you see, Sir, I need someone to turn to. Since I needed someone to turn to but could not perceive of any one who could be so kind, my friends graciously decided to solve my grave problem. It is at this point that I will stop and offer thanks to you and your family for taking me into your humble dwelling. If I should cry in the middle of the night, don’t worry, don’t panic, just wash my skoady feet and feed me some warm milk and cookies. I don’t need to be burped.
3. The offense was most graciously intentional.
FORM CORRECT D.D.T. Ex. Off. /s/ Bobbie
ALIAS “THE TRACKER”
CADET SLOB 1st CLASS
O. G. NUMBER 3 BARRACKS
MIKE
Mike O‘Brien did not want to come to The Citadel in the first place. He hated the idea of going to a military college. He begged his parents to let him go somewhere else. But his father, a Marine Corps Colonel, thought the discipline and regimented life of The Citadel would be good for his troublesome son. Mike was a free spirit in high school and his father reasoned that the boy needed a period of confinement and control during his college days. In the fall of 1963, Mike entered Lesesne Gate. He entered Lesesne Gate bitterly. From his first day as a plebe, Mike fought the system with unwavering dedication.
He gained notoriety his very first week. In those days only seniors were allowed to walk across the hallowed turf of the parade ground. Mike was caught twice during plebe week sauntering across this forbidden land. In the same week one of his classmates bumped into him during a sweat party and Mike landed a right cross on his jaw. An angular platoon leader was giving Mike a little extra attention one night after mess and was slightly taken aback when Mike called him a “skinny little bastard.” Within two weeks, the name “O‘Brien” had won a permanent niche in campus conversation. O‘Brien stories enlivened bull sessions during evening study period. Seniors from three battalions traveled down to Bravo Company to catch a glimpse of the foolhardy knob who defied the system with such disregard for his own personal comfort. “B” Company upper-classmen devised every torture known to man trying to break O‘Brien’s spirit. They put him “on the wall” for hours at a time. They stuffed him into a steel locker and blew cigarette smoke into the vents. They made him do pushups until he dropped from exhaustion. They humiliated him at mess, starved him at mess, and refused to acknowledge his presence at mess. They screamed obscenities at him; they appealed to his pride and masculinity. They did all these things,
3. The offense was intentional.
(handwritten by The Boo ) Sad Too Bad Not The Fad 3/5
SUBJECT:
Explanation of Circumstances: “Appearing at an unexpected hour, at an unauthorized dwelling, without written permission, or an oral invitation,” May 17, 1962.
TO:
The Commandant of Cadets.
1. The report is correct.
2. Sir, it is with much respect and humble gratitude that I appear before you in this manner tonight. My story is a sad one, and it is written with tears in my eyes. The truth is, Sir, I am a poor, ugly orphan child with feet that resemble a chicken’s. For four long years I have lived here at The Citadel in shame and utter humiliation. For you see, Sir, I am what you might call an “ugly duckling” or a “gross slob.” The few dear friends that I once had, have all turned their backs on me. My parents disowned me when I was old enough to eat porridge with my fingers. With my personal appearance, ghoulish as it is, to go along with my equally warped mind you can easily see that my chances in life are very, very slim indeed. So you see, Sir, I need someone to turn to. Since I needed someone to turn to but could not perceive of any one who could be so kind, my friends graciously decided to solve my grave problem. It is at this point that I will stop and offer thanks to you and your family for taking me into your humble dwelling. If I should cry in the middle of the night, don’t worry, don’t panic, just wash my skoady feet and feed me some warm milk and cookies. I don’t need to be burped.
3. The offense was most graciously intentional.
FORM CORRECT D.D.T. Ex. Off. /s/ Bobbie
ALIAS “THE TRACKER”
CADET SLOB 1st CLASS
O. G. NUMBER 3 BARRACKS
MIKE
Mike O‘Brien did not want to come to The Citadel in the first place. He hated the idea of going to a military college. He begged his parents to let him go somewhere else. But his father, a Marine Corps Colonel, thought the discipline and regimented life of The Citadel would be good for his troublesome son. Mike was a free spirit in high school and his father reasoned that the boy needed a period of confinement and control during his college days. In the fall of 1963, Mike entered Lesesne Gate. He entered Lesesne Gate bitterly. From his first day as a plebe, Mike fought the system with unwavering dedication.
He gained notoriety his very first week. In those days only seniors were allowed to walk across the hallowed turf of the parade ground. Mike was caught twice during plebe week sauntering across this forbidden land. In the same week one of his classmates bumped into him during a sweat party and Mike landed a right cross on his jaw. An angular platoon leader was giving Mike a little extra attention one night after mess and was slightly taken aback when Mike called him a “skinny little bastard.” Within two weeks, the name “O‘Brien” had won a permanent niche in campus conversation. O‘Brien stories enlivened bull sessions during evening study period. Seniors from three battalions traveled down to Bravo Company to catch a glimpse of the foolhardy knob who defied the system with such disregard for his own personal comfort. “B” Company upper-classmen devised every torture known to man trying to break O‘Brien’s spirit. They put him “on the wall” for hours at a time. They stuffed him into a steel locker and blew cigarette smoke into the vents. They made him do pushups until he dropped from exhaustion. They humiliated him at mess, starved him at mess, and refused to acknowledge his presence at mess. They screamed obscenities at him; they appealed to his pride and masculinity. They did all these things,
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