and read the most recent letters first. The whole thing felt weird enough anyway, but it was never stranger than when she was beyond the point where Annie had stopped. When she was opening envelopes. Now she was the only reader, looking at words that she was the first to see, other than Nicklin himself of course. She lifted each off-white, rectangular envelope and opened it fast, the tearing of the paper masking the sound of her breath catching every time.
In here if you know what 2+2 is and you can write your name you might as well be a PROFESSOR. Other prisoners will ask you to read letters from home or for help with legal stuff. Just because I was a teacher I get a lot of requests like that and it’s fine because I quite enjoy helping out if I can
– time passing keeping busy etc etc. But I also get very DIFFERENT reactions because of
what I did
why I’m in here
– something like respect or even fear which was strange to begin with but can be quite useful if I’m honest. Some people found out about what happened in BELMARSH with the infamous spoon and a reputation like that can do you favours
– it can keep you safe in a place like this so that’s one more reason for you not to worry about me. OK? Turns out I’m the one to come to if you need a form filling in or a letter from your lawyer checking over BUT I’m also the scary one who you should avoid looking at when you’re queuing up for your dinner. I’m the MAD professor! Made me think though
– did I ever scare YOU??
The odd one had been opened and read by prison officers before it had been sent out. Kitson knew they did that. They would have checked all his incoming mail of course, but only dipped randomly into the letters that were going the other way. She had no idea who he might have been writing to other than Annie and his ex-wife. Did he correspond with his ‘fans’, of whom there were plenty? Did he reply to the marriage proposals from the crackpot bitches all desperate to snag themselves a killer as a husband? The desperate souls convinced that Mr Right would be someone with at least a couple of killings to his name.
Did you watch that tv documentary/drama the other evening about the things MARTIN and I did? Thought it was very good actually
– not too sensationalist or graphic and was hugely flattered by the portrayal. Very HANDSOME actor playing my part. Not sure who they would get to play me the way I look these days
– probably someone from one of those agencies supplying freaks and UGLIES for horror films. Just out of interest what do I look like when you try to picture me? IF you try to picture me. How I was just before I came in here or as a little boy?
She stopped after an hour for a cigarette, got out of the car and smoked it in the garage. She didn’t smoke as often as she once had, but kept a packet in the glove compartment for the difficult days or nights. She would sneak out now and again, when everybody else was asleep, and the pack would usually last her a month or so. Her other half knew but pretended he didn’t, and her eldest son had caught her once. He’d smelled it on her and gone ballistic. He’d called her a hypocrite when she’d tried to lecture him after he’d got drunk and thrown up on the landing outside his bedroom. It was hard to argue with.
I think I settled in quite fast compared to some and it’s easy to forget how hard it can be for others
– the panic and the sadness at missing your FAMILY. Making that ADJUSTMENT can be very difficult especially if you’re in here for life. Made a new friend I think. JEFF was/is a teacher like me so there’s a common bond straight away. He’s finding it very tough coping in here at the moment
– plenty of dark thoughts
– so we talk about things a lot. Good to have PROPER conversations and it’s nice being a shoulder to cry on
– something I never really had but no point
dwelling
thinking about things that could not be helped, is
In here if you know what 2+2 is and you can write your name you might as well be a PROFESSOR. Other prisoners will ask you to read letters from home or for help with legal stuff. Just because I was a teacher I get a lot of requests like that and it’s fine because I quite enjoy helping out if I can
– time passing keeping busy etc etc. But I also get very DIFFERENT reactions because of
what I did
why I’m in here
– something like respect or even fear which was strange to begin with but can be quite useful if I’m honest. Some people found out about what happened in BELMARSH with the infamous spoon and a reputation like that can do you favours
– it can keep you safe in a place like this so that’s one more reason for you not to worry about me. OK? Turns out I’m the one to come to if you need a form filling in or a letter from your lawyer checking over BUT I’m also the scary one who you should avoid looking at when you’re queuing up for your dinner. I’m the MAD professor! Made me think though
– did I ever scare YOU??
The odd one had been opened and read by prison officers before it had been sent out. Kitson knew they did that. They would have checked all his incoming mail of course, but only dipped randomly into the letters that were going the other way. She had no idea who he might have been writing to other than Annie and his ex-wife. Did he correspond with his ‘fans’, of whom there were plenty? Did he reply to the marriage proposals from the crackpot bitches all desperate to snag themselves a killer as a husband? The desperate souls convinced that Mr Right would be someone with at least a couple of killings to his name.
Did you watch that tv documentary/drama the other evening about the things MARTIN and I did? Thought it was very good actually
– not too sensationalist or graphic and was hugely flattered by the portrayal. Very HANDSOME actor playing my part. Not sure who they would get to play me the way I look these days
– probably someone from one of those agencies supplying freaks and UGLIES for horror films. Just out of interest what do I look like when you try to picture me? IF you try to picture me. How I was just before I came in here or as a little boy?
She stopped after an hour for a cigarette, got out of the car and smoked it in the garage. She didn’t smoke as often as she once had, but kept a packet in the glove compartment for the difficult days or nights. She would sneak out now and again, when everybody else was asleep, and the pack would usually last her a month or so. Her other half knew but pretended he didn’t, and her eldest son had caught her once. He’d smelled it on her and gone ballistic. He’d called her a hypocrite when she’d tried to lecture him after he’d got drunk and thrown up on the landing outside his bedroom. It was hard to argue with.
I think I settled in quite fast compared to some and it’s easy to forget how hard it can be for others
– the panic and the sadness at missing your FAMILY. Making that ADJUSTMENT can be very difficult especially if you’re in here for life. Made a new friend I think. JEFF was/is a teacher like me so there’s a common bond straight away. He’s finding it very tough coping in here at the moment
– plenty of dark thoughts
– so we talk about things a lot. Good to have PROPER conversations and it’s nice being a shoulder to cry on
– something I never really had but no point
dwelling
thinking about things that could not be helped, is
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