The Bodies We Wear by Jeyn Roberts Page B

I’m puking my guts out in the toilet.
    Paige leaves me to go talk to some other girls and suddenly I’m feeling very self-conscious. Even though I’ve gone to school with most of these kids for years, I don’t think I’ve ever said more than two words to any of them. Now that I’m standing here, in a living room the size of a cruise ship, wearing clothing that’s not school-issued, I can’t help feeling odd.
    And wow, are they dressed. Now that they’ve been given the chance to ditch their ties and skirts, they’ve really managed to master the ability to dress in as little clothing as humanly possible. There is a lot of bare skin in this room. Low-cut tops showing cleavage, short skirts that barely cover their asses, and bare midriffs showing off belly buttons. I wish I’d given a bit more thought to my own wardrobe tonight. I’m wearing jeans and a black shirt with a high neck. My scars are well hidden.
    They’re lucky, these girls with their ability to wear such clothing. I’d give anything to spend a single day in their place. I’d love to be able to stand proud and not be ashamed of my body. Bare skin. I’d love to feel the rain falling on my shoulders.
    I am not a monster, but the world treats me like one.
    I stand there with my drink in my hand, watching the room, my eyes scanning but never staring at anyone for very long. Paige chats with her friends and some of them turn and look at me curiously but no one comes over.
    “Having fun?”
    I know that voice. I don’t even have to turn around before I open my mouth. “You are following me.”
    “Maybe. Or perhaps I was invited.”
    I turn my head until I’m facing Chael. “You don’t go to my school. If you did, I would have seen you.”
    “Is everyone here from your school?”
    “Mostly.”
    “I guess I am following you.”
    “And I suppose you’re going to be all mysterious again. You know, I’m getting kinda tired of your tricks. Maybe you should go focus your attention elsewhere.” I point toward another girl, who has obviously had too much to drink, by the way she’s dancing. “There. She’s available. Go stalk her.”
    Chael chuckles and his eyes light up. He’s amused. Not quite what I was going for.
    “I’ll stick to you,” Chael says. “You’re much easier to find. I don’t know where she lives and I can’t be bothered to find out.”
    “But you bothered to follow me.”
    “You’re interesting.”
    “Apparently. You seem to know a lot about me already. You know I’m going to kill Rufus. What else?” I realize I touched my chest as I was talking.
    Chael watches my fingers trail along my shirt. “Yes,” he says, and his voice sounds heavy. “I know about that.”
    “Are you going to tell them?”
    “No, what kind of person do you think I am? Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I’m here to protect you, not out you.”
    “I don’t need protection.”
    “We all need protection.”
    “Not me.”
    “Why? Because you know how to fight?” Chael gives me a dazzling smile. “Revenge takes more than tossing a few knives around. It takes deliberation and determination. And it takes your heart. That’s not something you can easily get back.”
    “You sound like Gazer.”
    “He must be a very brilliant man.”
    A popular song comes on and someone cranks the volume. A very drunk girl gets up on the coffee table and starts dancing. Another boy joins her, his arms wrapped around her waist, and she giggles like crazy and lets him spin her around. Both of them end up flying off the table and onto the floor while everyone cheers.
    It just goes to show that having a lot of money doesn’t exactly make a person smart.
    “God, this is stupid,” I say.
    “Why? Because they’re enjoying themselves?”
    “Yeah, being drunk is fun,” I say sarcastically.
    “It can be. Haven’t you ever wanted to just let go like that?”
    “Like that?” I point to a guy in the corner who is throwing up in a potted plant. A