The Black Mass of Brother Springer

The Black Mass of Brother Springer by Charles Willeford Page B

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prayer."
           Again Caldwell rattled off his staccato repetitious prayer with many "washed in the blood of the lambs" and when he had finished I pointed to Miss Durrand. The girls sang sweetly to her pounding piano, and when they finished two hymns, I began my sermon.
           The Revelation was written by St. John The Divine. If he were alive today he would probably be classified as a schizophrenic, but there is some good writing in that book. The members of my church didn't have such a wonderful life, here on earth, particularly in Jax. They were all hardworking people, sweating for every dime, and they lived in a substandard section of the city. And they believed in the Bible. This belief was important to them, and I thought that if I could tell them about a better life to come, after their death, maybe they would feel a little better about the life they were leading on earth. Why not? St. John's revelations, however, are too ancient for present day use, and I updated them in my sermon.
           "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
           "How does that sound? This morning, in all sincerity, many of you in this church came forth willingly and shook my hand, stating that you were saved; that you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. You who have been saved are the most fortunate of God's flock, for you shall have everlasting life. Nobody would want life on this globe of terror, pestilence and suffering. Who would want to work at a sawmill or mow lawns or sweep the dirt from the streets forever and forever into eternity?
           "But those who are saved do not really perish. The saved are lifted to Heaven, and God personally wipes the tears away from their eyes. How fortunate you are to have such a kind and benevolent God. If you have sinned, you need but repent, and give yourself to the glory that is God's, and your reward is everlasting life at God's right hand!
           "You will work no more. You will cry no more. Every pleasure shall be yours forever. Your loved ones will be with you, and your enemies will be destroyed. To eat, you only need to open the freezer compartment door, and it will be filled at all times. You will sleep on clouds of downy softness. If you want to, you can sleep for a month; deep, dreamless sleep, and awake refreshed. Should you want the sunlight, it shall be yours. Should you want love, it shall be yours. And there are no time payments. You make your payments on earth, and your rewards shall be given to you in Heaven. Will your name be in the Golden Book? Only you can put it there. But it will be there if you accept God."
           I talked for about an hour, and using my novelist's imagination I put out the good word about the afterlife. The big cars, the free barbecues, the free jukeboxes, the colorful raiment, and so on, and as I got deeper into the sermon my imagination really soared. But I spoke quietly, and didn't try to frighten anyone. All in all, it was a fairly successful extemporaneous sermon.
           Following my sermon, Dr. Jensen and Brother Linsey collected the offering, we sang some group hymns, and I made a brief announcement about a men's Bible class I was starting the following Friday evening, inviting all who were interested to attend.
           If this congregation of mine really believed, they should have all gone home that night with a big spiritual lift. I felt empty, and envied them their blind, unreasoning belief.
           Dr. Jensen accompanied me to my residence and I reheated the coffee, and accepted twenty dollars from him in one-dollar bills. I shoved the money into my pocket, removed my coat, and poured two cups of coffee.
           "There's some cold chicken left, if you want some, Dr. Jensen," I said.
           "No, thanks, Reverend.

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