The Believing Game by Eireann Corrigan

what?”
    â€œNothing good in this world happens without faith. If you don’t believe it into being, the dream just dies unrealized.”
    â€œWe’re talking about a road trip. S’mores and Pictionary, right?” I want to press it, to say, Not everything has to be so goddamn lofty. But the two of them had launched a new mission. I played the dutiful secretary. I took notes and tried to keep the dubious look off my face.
    â€œThis will be a retreat focused on self-esteem and inner peace,” Joshua announced solemnly. “I will explain the need to the dean. We’ll request the presence of you and Greer. Jared Polomsky. Everett Wesley.”
    I looked to Addison. “Wes,” he explained.
    Joshua listed, “Sophia, of course. Hannah Green.”
    My pen paused. “Why Hannah?”
    â€œWhy not Hannah?”
    Because I thought she was too fragile to deal with Joshua. Because I thought she couldn’t deflect his philosophical onslaught. I said, “I’m just not sure she’d want to spend so much time with us. You know, she’s not always so comfortable with people.”
    â€œWhat would you say if I told you that Hannah Green is the loneliest person you’ve ever met?”
    â€œThat wouldn’t actually be a shocking revelation, Joshua.” He sat back as if astonished and seemed to study me. “What?”
    â€œYou know that about Hannah?”
    I tried to keep my tone matter-of-fact. No big deal. “Most people know that about Hannah. She has … she kind of has this wounded bird quality.”
    â€œWell, I find it hard to stomach that you could know that and not support alleviating her suffering. That’s not like you, Elizabeth.”
    â€œIt’s not that —”
    â€œDo you feel threatened by Hannah Green?” Joshua asked.
    I swung my head to look at Addison. “Seriously?”
    â€œJoshua —” Addison only sort of halfheartedly interrupted.
    â€œWhat else does it look like? Be honest. Maybe Addison looks a little too long at Hannah? And it makes you uncomfortable? That’s on Addison, then. It’s his job to make you feel loved and secure.” Joshua added a scolding tone to his voice. “My man, you’re not doing your job.”
    â€œThat’s not his job!” I shouted.
    Addison shot me a hurt look. “Why wouldn’t that be my job?”
    â€œThat’s no one’s job.” I still sounded borderline hysterical. I muttered, “It shouldn’t be a job.”
    â€œHannah needs this. I would even hazard to claim that she is our sole reason for planning a trip together. It will be a family trip. And Hannah needs a family.”
    Somehow it seemed to me that the only person who ever won the believing game was Joshua. But Addison looked so excited and hopeful. That’s what I should have been noticing: the incredible guy across from me who wanted to play house. Who now bent his head forward toward me and asked, “Will you ask Sophie?” I hesitated. Addison went on, “Joshua’sgoing to speak to the dean. I’ll handle the rest of the logistics. You two have grown so close — I figure it would be weird for me to ask.”
    â€œYeah, sure.” I tried to ignore the sinking feeling beneath my ribs — the lingering sense that something was wrong. That some of this had all been scripted ahead of time, but only Addison and Joshua had cue cards.
    â€œThat’s great, Greer.” Addison sat back and beamed. “I knew she would,” he told Joshua. And then said to me, “This is going to be an amazing time for us.”
    Â 
    After dinner, when Addison was dropping me off, I tipped my head back to kiss him and he said, “I know it’s not supposed to be the point of a retreat, but I’d love to just have one night when I don’t have to take you back to your dorm. Won’t that be incredible? I just want to