The Bare Bum Gang Battles the Dogsnatchers by Anthony McGowan Page B
Authors: Anthony McGowan
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But as soon as Trixie saw me she came running across the field, probably thinking she was in for a good old chase, with maybe a nice little bit of bum cheek to chew on at the end of it.
I felt my dog go tense at the end of the rope. I thought for a second that he was going to run away, adding being a coward to the list of things that made him a rubbish dog (ugly, smelly, stupid, only having one and a half ears, etc., etc.). But then I felt him pull forwards on the rope and I couldnât hold on. He ran straight towards Trixie making that same horrible growling noise heâd made when Dad first brought him to our house with an added bit of
plapping
and snuffling.
Before he reached the little rat, Trixie realized what was about to happen to her; she turned round very neatly and ran back to Mrs Cake, whimpering and whinning. Infact, she didnât even stop when she reached Mrs Cake but shot straight past her. Mrs Cake shouted out, âTrixie,
Trixie!
Come here, you naughty girl,â but that didnât make any difference. Then my dog trundled past her as well, and she hit him on the back with her umbrella, but he didnât even slow down.
Then Mrs Cake started shouting at my dog and she used some very rude words, and that was sort of funny â I mean, hearing an old lady use words like that â even though Mum says itâs not clever or funny.
It was then that I decided what to call my dog. It was getting a bit silly just calling him âmy dogâ all the time. So from now on he would be called Rude Word, or Rudy for short.
After the dogs had run off Mrs Cake shouted at me for a while, and I said sorry, although it wasnât my fault. What I really wanted to say was that I was glad that Trixie was getting a bit of her own medicine, but I didnât want to be rude to Mrs Cake because she had her umbrella at the ready, and anyway, itâs wrong to be rude to old ladies, even if they might be witches.
Then Mrs Cake went to look for Trixie. A few minutes later Rude Word came back to me. He looked a bit guilty and was licking his lips.
âGood boy,â I said, and patted him.
THE NEXT DAY was Saturday, and straight after breakfast I brought my new dog down to the Gang den.
The den was in a tiny little wood near where we live. I thought Rudy would like the trees for weeing on, etc. He had a Weetabix for breakfast. So far, he seemed to be able to eat just about anything. Remember, heâd already eaten quite a lot of our car, and some fish cakes, chips and peas. Oh, and in the night he got up from his cardboard box and ate most of what was in the rubbish binand also a pair of my dadâs dirty underpants from out of the laundry basket.
By the time I got to the den Phillip, Noah, Jamie and Jennifer were already there.
Phillip is our Gang Admiral, which means heâll take charge of our navy when we finally get one. We usually call him The Moan, because heâs always moaning.
Jennifer is The Moanâs sister. We wouldnât normally let girls into our gang, especially sisters, but Jennifer was good at tae kwon do, which is like karate. It was her idea that we should be called the Bare Bum Gang, but I donât want to go into that now. Itâs enough to say that it was once something to be ashamed of, but that now it made us proud.
Noah is sort of my second in command, and also our Gang Doctor. The thing about Noah is that heâs nice and wants everyone to be nice to each other and not fight too much or call each other bad names.
Jamie is our Gang General, because heâs the best at fighting, apart from Jennifer. Jennifer couldnât be the Gang General because her job was to be the Gang Girl, and that was enough work for one person.
Â
The best thing about our gang is the gang den. Part of it is almost like a cave dug into the side of a hill, and another part sticks out at the front and thatâs how you get in. The entrance is cunningly disguised by the
I felt my dog go tense at the end of the rope. I thought for a second that he was going to run away, adding being a coward to the list of things that made him a rubbish dog (ugly, smelly, stupid, only having one and a half ears, etc., etc.). But then I felt him pull forwards on the rope and I couldnât hold on. He ran straight towards Trixie making that same horrible growling noise heâd made when Dad first brought him to our house with an added bit of
plapping
and snuffling.
Before he reached the little rat, Trixie realized what was about to happen to her; she turned round very neatly and ran back to Mrs Cake, whimpering and whinning. Infact, she didnât even stop when she reached Mrs Cake but shot straight past her. Mrs Cake shouted out, âTrixie,
Trixie!
Come here, you naughty girl,â but that didnât make any difference. Then my dog trundled past her as well, and she hit him on the back with her umbrella, but he didnât even slow down.
Then Mrs Cake started shouting at my dog and she used some very rude words, and that was sort of funny â I mean, hearing an old lady use words like that â even though Mum says itâs not clever or funny.
It was then that I decided what to call my dog. It was getting a bit silly just calling him âmy dogâ all the time. So from now on he would be called Rude Word, or Rudy for short.
After the dogs had run off Mrs Cake shouted at me for a while, and I said sorry, although it wasnât my fault. What I really wanted to say was that I was glad that Trixie was getting a bit of her own medicine, but I didnât want to be rude to Mrs Cake because she had her umbrella at the ready, and anyway, itâs wrong to be rude to old ladies, even if they might be witches.
Then Mrs Cake went to look for Trixie. A few minutes later Rude Word came back to me. He looked a bit guilty and was licking his lips.
âGood boy,â I said, and patted him.
THE NEXT DAY was Saturday, and straight after breakfast I brought my new dog down to the Gang den.
The den was in a tiny little wood near where we live. I thought Rudy would like the trees for weeing on, etc. He had a Weetabix for breakfast. So far, he seemed to be able to eat just about anything. Remember, heâd already eaten quite a lot of our car, and some fish cakes, chips and peas. Oh, and in the night he got up from his cardboard box and ate most of what was in the rubbish binand also a pair of my dadâs dirty underpants from out of the laundry basket.
By the time I got to the den Phillip, Noah, Jamie and Jennifer were already there.
Phillip is our Gang Admiral, which means heâll take charge of our navy when we finally get one. We usually call him The Moan, because heâs always moaning.
Jennifer is The Moanâs sister. We wouldnât normally let girls into our gang, especially sisters, but Jennifer was good at tae kwon do, which is like karate. It was her idea that we should be called the Bare Bum Gang, but I donât want to go into that now. Itâs enough to say that it was once something to be ashamed of, but that now it made us proud.
Noah is sort of my second in command, and also our Gang Doctor. The thing about Noah is that heâs nice and wants everyone to be nice to each other and not fight too much or call each other bad names.
Jamie is our Gang General, because heâs the best at fighting, apart from Jennifer. Jennifer couldnât be the Gang General because her job was to be the Gang Girl, and that was enough work for one person.
Â
The best thing about our gang is the gang den. Part of it is almost like a cave dug into the side of a hill, and another part sticks out at the front and thatâs how you get in. The entrance is cunningly disguised by the
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