the bank by the time she turned eighteen, and I had four years’ earning interest.
The modeling world was one of perfection, eating disorders, people building me up to tear me down, measuring tape, and endless scrutiny. After a while, I began to question the very thing I had been praised for at the beginning of it all―my beauty.
Even though I was accepted into three schools, I passed on the whole college thing. I told Mom that any career that I had after graduating would probably not pay as well as modeling. She wasn’t too thrilled. She had always expected that I’d follow in her and my sister’s footsteps and go to college.
“I don’t think so, Mom,” I said with a shrug. “School’s not for everyone.”
Months later, a small part of me regretted that I hadn’t enrolled in a college.
During that time, a modeling friend of mine was losing weight rapidly. I tried to talk to her about it, but she refused to listen. Then the secretary at the agency told me she was in the hospital—in the intensive ward. When I visited her, I was shaken and left the hospital feeling sick. I got under the covers as soon as I got home. It wasn’t only my friend’s skeletal appearance that shook me up; it was the realization that had been forming for a few months. I no longer enjoyed modeling. Inside, I knew there were other things in life besides obsessing over a zit and maintaining my weight.
Modeling had never really been my passion, only an honest way to make a living. At that point, I had enough saved to be okay for a while. I needed a different world, a different life, at least for a while. I also wanted to spend some time with my dad, something Mom had been encouraging me to do for a few months, since he’d recovered from prostate cancer.
A week later, I’m on a flight to Missouri. I don’t have any upcoming gigs, and Mom’s glad Dad and I can spend some quality time together in Missouri.
“Life is fragile, Shayna,” she’d said to me.
Even though they’re divorced, she and Dad have a cordial relationship. At the airport, I hug her and tell her, “Good-bye for now,” before heading to the gate. My sister’s in Spain.
On the airplane, I put my ear buds in my ears and don’t even notice dozing off. The next thing I know, the pilot’s announcing the landing. I stretch my arms and smile. I’m tired of a world focused on looks, and I want to feel normal instead of like someone’s showpiece.
I’m ready for an adventure in Missouri.
Chapter 2
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B eing back in Missouri’s a little weird. I’d spent the first twelve years of my life here. Then my parents moved us to New York for my mom’s work. Dad had been willing to uproot the family because he was self-employed and could work from home. Mom was a stay-at-home mom until I turned five and started school.
One year later, my parents announced their split, and then the modeling offer happened.
At the airport, Dad greets me with a bear hug and a peck on the cheek. He looks great, as usual. Even when my mom, sister, and I visited him during his cancer treatments, his spirits were high. He’s remarried. I hug my stepmom too. She always makes sure to iron his clothing so that he looks neat.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Dad says as he pulls one of my two suitcases. “And staying with us longer than a week.”
A few days later, I call up my old best friend, Wynter, to tell her I’m in town for the summer. She squeals in excitement. She’s happy we don’t have to rely on Twitter anymore in order to girl talk. She invites me to a mutual elementary-school friend’s birthday dinner that’s being held at a popular pizza place.
“Are you sure David won’t mind?” I ask.
“Of course I’m sure. Just because you moved away doesn’t mean that people don’t remember you.”
“All right.” I’m up to seeing some old faces, and restarting a social life while I’m in town will do me some good. I don’t have much else to
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