t’honey I kin eat.”
“Oh, Tommy …” she sobbed, immediately ashamed. “I’m sorry. Don’t know what gets inta me … don’t ya go hatin yer ma who loves ya.”
A nightmare with a capricious red-haired witch included had come to live in our house. A nightmare that didn’t go when the sun dawned, when noon flared bright and cheerful; the stringy-haired, loudmouthed, ugly witch showed no mercy, not even to her own.
It was September. Soon we’d be going back to school, and any day Sarah’s baby could come, any day. Still Sarah didn’t go as she threatened time and again, thinking she’d really hurt Pa when she took away his look-alike dark-haired son. Pa stayed more and more in town.
All the hours blurred one into the other, horriblehours less than hell but far from paradise. Over the summer, we had grown noticeably larger, older, needing more, asking more questions. But as Sarah’s unborn child swelled out her front, the oldest among us grew weaker, quieter, less demanding.
It was building, building toward something. That something kept me tossing and turning all night, so when I got up in the morning it was as if I hadn’t slept at all.
five
BITTER SEASON
L OGAN WAS WAITING FOR ME HALFWAY DOWN THE TRAIL to the valley to walk me to the first day of school. The weather was turning chilly in the hills, but it was still pleasantly warm in the valley. Miss Deale was still our teacher, since the school board continued to allow her to advance with her class. I was enchanted by her, as always; still, I kept drifting off …
“Heaven Leigh,” called the sweet voice of Miss Deale, “are you daydreaming
again?”
“No, Miss Deale. I don’t daydream in class, only at home.” Why did everyone always titter, as if I did daydream?
It thrilled me to be back in school where I’d see Logan every day, and he’d walk me home and hold my hand, and with him I could momentarily forget all the problems that beset me in the cabin.
He walked beside me on the way home, both of us eagerly discussing our plans for the future, as Tom led the way with Our Jane and Keith, and Fanny lagged way back, accompanied by her many boyfriends.
All I had to do was to look around and see that soon our mountain nights would be freezing the water in therain barrels, and all of us needed new coats and sweaters and boots that we couldn’t afford. Logan held my hand, glancing at me often, as if he couldn’t stop admiring. Slowly, slowly, we strolled. Now Our Jane and Keith were skipping, laughing, as Tom ran back to check on what Fanny was doing with those boys.
“You’re not talking to me,” Logan complained, stopping to pull me down onto a rotting log. “Before we know it we’ll reach your cabin yard, and you’ll dash ahead, turn to me, and wave good-bye, and I’ll never get to see the inside of your home.”
“There’s nothing to see,” I said with my eyes lowered.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, either,” he said softly, squeezing my fingers before he released my hand and tilted my face toward his. “If you’re going to stay in my life, and I can’t picture life without you, someday you’ll have to let me in, won’t you?”
“Someday … when I’m braver.”
“You’re the bravest person I’ve ever known! Heaven, I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately; about how much fun we have together, and how lonely the hours are when we’re not together. When I’m finished with college, I’m thinking about becoming a scientist, a brilliant one, of course. Wouldn’t you be interested in delving into the mysteries of life along with me? We could work as a team like Madame Curie and her husband. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Sure,” I said without thought, “but wouldn’t it be boring, shut up in a lab day in and day out? Is it possible to have an outdoor lab?”
He thought me silly, and hugged me close. I put my arms around his neck and pressed my cheek against his. It felt so good to be
“Oh, Tommy …” she sobbed, immediately ashamed. “I’m sorry. Don’t know what gets inta me … don’t ya go hatin yer ma who loves ya.”
A nightmare with a capricious red-haired witch included had come to live in our house. A nightmare that didn’t go when the sun dawned, when noon flared bright and cheerful; the stringy-haired, loudmouthed, ugly witch showed no mercy, not even to her own.
It was September. Soon we’d be going back to school, and any day Sarah’s baby could come, any day. Still Sarah didn’t go as she threatened time and again, thinking she’d really hurt Pa when she took away his look-alike dark-haired son. Pa stayed more and more in town.
All the hours blurred one into the other, horriblehours less than hell but far from paradise. Over the summer, we had grown noticeably larger, older, needing more, asking more questions. But as Sarah’s unborn child swelled out her front, the oldest among us grew weaker, quieter, less demanding.
It was building, building toward something. That something kept me tossing and turning all night, so when I got up in the morning it was as if I hadn’t slept at all.
five
BITTER SEASON
L OGAN WAS WAITING FOR ME HALFWAY DOWN THE TRAIL to the valley to walk me to the first day of school. The weather was turning chilly in the hills, but it was still pleasantly warm in the valley. Miss Deale was still our teacher, since the school board continued to allow her to advance with her class. I was enchanted by her, as always; still, I kept drifting off …
“Heaven Leigh,” called the sweet voice of Miss Deale, “are you daydreaming
again?”
“No, Miss Deale. I don’t daydream in class, only at home.” Why did everyone always titter, as if I did daydream?
It thrilled me to be back in school where I’d see Logan every day, and he’d walk me home and hold my hand, and with him I could momentarily forget all the problems that beset me in the cabin.
He walked beside me on the way home, both of us eagerly discussing our plans for the future, as Tom led the way with Our Jane and Keith, and Fanny lagged way back, accompanied by her many boyfriends.
All I had to do was to look around and see that soon our mountain nights would be freezing the water in therain barrels, and all of us needed new coats and sweaters and boots that we couldn’t afford. Logan held my hand, glancing at me often, as if he couldn’t stop admiring. Slowly, slowly, we strolled. Now Our Jane and Keith were skipping, laughing, as Tom ran back to check on what Fanny was doing with those boys.
“You’re not talking to me,” Logan complained, stopping to pull me down onto a rotting log. “Before we know it we’ll reach your cabin yard, and you’ll dash ahead, turn to me, and wave good-bye, and I’ll never get to see the inside of your home.”
“There’s nothing to see,” I said with my eyes lowered.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, either,” he said softly, squeezing my fingers before he released my hand and tilted my face toward his. “If you’re going to stay in my life, and I can’t picture life without you, someday you’ll have to let me in, won’t you?”
“Someday … when I’m braver.”
“You’re the bravest person I’ve ever known! Heaven, I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately; about how much fun we have together, and how lonely the hours are when we’re not together. When I’m finished with college, I’m thinking about becoming a scientist, a brilliant one, of course. Wouldn’t you be interested in delving into the mysteries of life along with me? We could work as a team like Madame Curie and her husband. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Sure,” I said without thought, “but wouldn’t it be boring, shut up in a lab day in and day out? Is it possible to have an outdoor lab?”
He thought me silly, and hugged me close. I put my arms around his neck and pressed my cheek against his. It felt so good to be
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