small in a new place, just a little ant carrying her briefcase to work. Wherever she was going, she doubted that she could demand the same attention as in Selma, where she was vice president of her school, a cheerleader, a nearly straight-A student, and even a member of 4-H. She told me she had applied to Harvard and Stanford and got rejected. She was going to USC.
"Hey I was nowhere all my life. It wasn't that bad." I bragged that if I had lived, I would have attended Fresno City College.
Crystal fumed. "Don't you understand? I got rejected!"
Dawg,
I thought. She was scared of failing. So that was it.
We lay staring at the sky, both of us quiet. The two clouds were gone, the sky darker now that the sun was eclipsed by a walnut tree.
"Crystal," I meowed romantically. I turned my face to her. "You know I like you."
Crystal blinked her eyes at the sky.
But my mood shifted quickly "But I got to go see someone at my house." I was up. "Plus, you were going to see about your parents."
At the word
parents,
Crystal rolled into a ball on that haystack.
"Crystal," I called softly.
"What," she answered, not so softly.
"I went to see my grandfather. He died six years ago of cancer." I told her that I was probably going to be buried there, in the same cemetery. I told her it was kind of nice, with trees and lawns that were cut weekly.
Crystal sat up, her legs folded in a yoga position. Her face was lined with worry. "I guess you and I are going to disappear, huh? Like, really disappear." She swallowed that truth. "Like really die, huh?"
I listened to a distant airplane. A bird on the barbed wire fence. A horse whinny. These were the sounds that are singled out in the country, especially on a pile of hay that either a horse would eat or the wind carry away, flake by flake. I wish we could have lain there forever.
"I have a confession," Crystal began. Her face had brightened.
"What, another boyfriend?"
She smiled. "Sort of," she teased.
I held my breath. Was she messing around with
all
of Selma?
"I remember you."
I offered her a confused look. I didn't get what she was saying, though it had to be good because her face was open and beautiful.
"I remember when you were picking grapes and got stung." She pulled her hair behind her eyes. "I thought you were cute."
I smiled. "You don't really remember, do you?" I asked. "You're just playing with me!"
"Yeah, I do!" Her smile was like a flower.
"And I was cute?" I was really begging for a compliment.
Crystal rose and hugged and kissed me. "Yes, you were cute. Even with your fat swollen face."
We gazed into each other's eyes until we were both out of focus. I then pulled away from her as I repeated that I had to go back home and take care of business. I sailed into a sky that was bloodred where the sun was going down. I turned and yelled, "I'll be back." I would have waved but my arms were gone. I told her that I loved her, but my words were snapped up by the heartless wind.
Chapter Eight
D USK BROUGHT the cries of peacocks sailing across the scraggly lawns of Roeding Park. I kicked down the street where, the night before, Crystal's car had sat with Crystal inside, dead. The police and an ambulance had come and gone along with a tow truck that hauled her ride away. I stared at a blotch of oil.
"Ah, Crystal," I cried, then pivoted and walked toward a group of young trees where darkness was knitting the oncoming night.
I pictured her mom crying into her hands, and her dad leaning his shoulder against a wall, his closed fists wiping a couple of tears that would replenish themselves when he was asked to view her body. I pictured her two boyfriends, Jason and Eric,
going through the school yearbook in search of pictures of her.
"Ah, Crystal," I repeated, head down. I looked up when a wind reshuffled the leaves on the lawn. Before me lay the homeless guy whom I had saved by cooling his hot forehead. He had died after all and was now a ghost, too. I wasn't surprised at
"Hey I was nowhere all my life. It wasn't that bad." I bragged that if I had lived, I would have attended Fresno City College.
Crystal fumed. "Don't you understand? I got rejected!"
Dawg,
I thought. She was scared of failing. So that was it.
We lay staring at the sky, both of us quiet. The two clouds were gone, the sky darker now that the sun was eclipsed by a walnut tree.
"Crystal," I meowed romantically. I turned my face to her. "You know I like you."
Crystal blinked her eyes at the sky.
But my mood shifted quickly "But I got to go see someone at my house." I was up. "Plus, you were going to see about your parents."
At the word
parents,
Crystal rolled into a ball on that haystack.
"Crystal," I called softly.
"What," she answered, not so softly.
"I went to see my grandfather. He died six years ago of cancer." I told her that I was probably going to be buried there, in the same cemetery. I told her it was kind of nice, with trees and lawns that were cut weekly.
Crystal sat up, her legs folded in a yoga position. Her face was lined with worry. "I guess you and I are going to disappear, huh? Like, really disappear." She swallowed that truth. "Like really die, huh?"
I listened to a distant airplane. A bird on the barbed wire fence. A horse whinny. These were the sounds that are singled out in the country, especially on a pile of hay that either a horse would eat or the wind carry away, flake by flake. I wish we could have lain there forever.
"I have a confession," Crystal began. Her face had brightened.
"What, another boyfriend?"
She smiled. "Sort of," she teased.
I held my breath. Was she messing around with
all
of Selma?
"I remember you."
I offered her a confused look. I didn't get what she was saying, though it had to be good because her face was open and beautiful.
"I remember when you were picking grapes and got stung." She pulled her hair behind her eyes. "I thought you were cute."
I smiled. "You don't really remember, do you?" I asked. "You're just playing with me!"
"Yeah, I do!" Her smile was like a flower.
"And I was cute?" I was really begging for a compliment.
Crystal rose and hugged and kissed me. "Yes, you were cute. Even with your fat swollen face."
We gazed into each other's eyes until we were both out of focus. I then pulled away from her as I repeated that I had to go back home and take care of business. I sailed into a sky that was bloodred where the sun was going down. I turned and yelled, "I'll be back." I would have waved but my arms were gone. I told her that I loved her, but my words were snapped up by the heartless wind.
Chapter Eight
D USK BROUGHT the cries of peacocks sailing across the scraggly lawns of Roeding Park. I kicked down the street where, the night before, Crystal's car had sat with Crystal inside, dead. The police and an ambulance had come and gone along with a tow truck that hauled her ride away. I stared at a blotch of oil.
"Ah, Crystal," I cried, then pivoted and walked toward a group of young trees where darkness was knitting the oncoming night.
I pictured her mom crying into her hands, and her dad leaning his shoulder against a wall, his closed fists wiping a couple of tears that would replenish themselves when he was asked to view her body. I pictured her two boyfriends, Jason and Eric,
going through the school yearbook in search of pictures of her.
"Ah, Crystal," I repeated, head down. I looked up when a wind reshuffled the leaves on the lawn. Before me lay the homeless guy whom I had saved by cooling his hot forehead. He had died after all and was now a ghost, too. I wasn't surprised at
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