The Affair of the Thirty-Nine Cufflinks by James Anderson

to join them in the library. The Earl, the Countess and Bradley made their way there themselves. Lord Burford sat Bradley at the head of the table, and the solicitor opened his briefcase and extracted a sheaf of papers. Gerry and Stella were the first to arrive, followed quickly by Clara and Dorothy, Jean Mackenzie, Gregory, Timothy and finally Tommy and Penny. When they were all seated, Bradley looked round the ring of expectant faces and cleared his throat nervously. He seemed a little unhappy. 'Before I read the will, there is something quite unusual that must be done. My client made a specific request that the proceedings be opened in a particular manner - a highly, er, unconventional manner, but one she was very insistent upon. I had better read the actual words of her request.' He glanced down at the papers in front of him. ' "I fear that there will have been much gloom and misery at my funeral and that at this moment everyone present is looking especially sombre. I wish to dispel that mood. So I request that before my will is read, everybody joins in singing She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain . I ask this because I have a firm hope that I may be doing that very thing - the mountain in question being Zion - just about then." '
    Mr Bradley looked up at faces wearing expressions ranging from the blank to the aghast - and one face which bore a look of sheer delight.
    'How absolutely topping!' Gerry exclaimed. 'Good for Aunt Florrie! That's what I want at my funeral. I shall put it in my will, too. In a few generations it'll become a family tradition.'
    'I'm delighted you approve, Lady Geraldine. I don't know if anyone here feels capable of starting the piece in question. I have a made a note of the words.' He held up a sheet of writing paper. 'They are extremely simple, and I could make an effort, but if anybody else . . .' He petered out and looked hopefully around.
    Now, much to her mother's disappointment, Gerry was not musical. As a little girl, she had gone through several piano teachers, who had left saddened and with their self-confidence badly shaken. There was, however, one good thing to be said of her singing voice: it was powerful. A friend of hers had once likened it to that of Ethel Merman. Greatly flattered by this comparison, Gerry had set about - mostly when driving her beloved Hispano-Suiza - perfecting what she believed was a first-rate impersonation of the young Broadway star. This she needed no encouragement to perform at parties, though she could not help noticing, and being rather hurt by the fact, that she was rarely asked to do an encore. Now, though, she suddenly realised that her big moment had come. 'Gladly,' she said happily. She took a deep breath, opened her mouth, and let them have it at the top of her voice.
     
    ' SHE'LL BE COMING ROUND THE MOUNTAIN, WHEN SHE COMES .'
     
    She could not have hoped to make a greater impact. Everyone round the table gave a noticeable jump, Clara adding a startled 'Oh, my.'
    ' She'll be coming round the mountain, when she comes ,' Gerry continued solo, then stopped. 'Come on. What's the matter with you? Can't you accede to an old lady's dying wish? Now let's start again. Follow me.' She raised her hands and began conducting as she recommenced.
    Tommy, with a broad grin on his face, was the first to join in, followed quickly by Penny, and after a few seconds by Stella. The others opened and closed their mouths slowly, making vague humming and moaning noises.
    The verse ended - after what to Lady Burford, at least, seemed an extremely long time. There was a sudden hush, which was broken by Mr Bradley. 'Well, thank you very much, Lady Ger—'
    ' SINGING EYE-YAI-YIPPEE-YIPPE-YAI, YIPPE-YAI, ' Gerry bellowed. Lord Burford closed his eyes, as her supporting trio took up the refrain.
    As the final 'yippe-yai' faded, Mr Bradley spoke hastily and firmly. 'That was most spirited and I'm sure would have pleased my client immensely. She would not, though, have expected