The Absolute Value of Mike by Kathryn Erskine Page B

kitchen, but fortunately not scrapple.
    â€œWell, I gave it a whirl. Do you think it’ll work?” she whispered.
    I shook my head. “I hope so. We need it for Misha.” It hadn’t done anything for Dad as far as I could tell, and I didn’t see how a drop or two of some herb could turn a giant vegetable back into a human being. It would take a heck of a lot more than Saint John’s Wort. It would take a miracle.
    Moo scraped a mouthful of food onto her fork, then put the fork down and looked at her plate. “I know you think it’s shellfish, Mike.”
    I looked down at the lumpy gray-white pile on my plate, too. “Actually, I thought it was tuna.” Then I remembered all those cans of cat food in her cabinet and my stomach howled. “It is tuna, isn’t it?”
    â€œWhat? Oh, the casserole? Yes.” Moo scraped the tuna blobs around her plate and sighed. “I know you think Poppy is being shellfish.”
    â€œ Selfish. Yeah, I do.”
    â€œBut he’s really not shellfish.”
    True. I’d put him in the vegetable category, not seafood.
    â€œYou haven’t warmed to Poppy, have you?”
    Warmed? To iceberg lettuce? I shook my head.
    Moo sighed. “He’s doing the best he can.”
    â€œMoo, no offense, but if he were doing his best, he’d be out in the workshop. Don’t you think his best is a little lame?”
    She patted my hand. “It’s hard for you to understand, dear, I know.”
    Oh, I understood all right. He let everyone else take care of things, handle all the problems, while he just sat there, “away with the fairies.” Like Dad. I understood all about that. I was getting so ticked off that I even started wondering about Karen. I mean, everyone was trying to raise money for her, but what was she doing? So I asked Moo.
    â€œOh, my dear, Karen is zipping all over the countryside on that scooter, getting her adoption papers signed, sealed, and delivered. Goodness, it’s a full-time job adopting a child! Well, she may as well get used to it, because that’s what having children is all about. Of course, this is rushed because of the adoption deadline. Only four months to get a child, not as leisurely as the other way.”
    I said, “What other way?” before I realized she was talking about pregnancy.
    â€œOh, Mike!” Moo’s eyes were wide. “Hasn’t your father talked to you about sex? Because if not, I can tell you all—”
    â€œNo, no—I mean, yes, yes, he has! I know all about that . . . stuff.” Dad hadn’t told me a thing, but I knew it all from health class, books, and Sasha. And even if I were clueless, I couldn’t imagine getting the sex lecture from Moo. My face was hot and felt red just from the mention of it.
    I quickly changed the subject to our visit with Dr. P. I asked Moo what he’d meant about Gladys and her family.
    â€œPoor Gladys got a bum rap,” Moo said. “Her mother was awful. Taking up with a new man every week. That’s no home for a child. And who knows where her father went?” Moo sighed. “So, Gladys keeps everyone at a distance. That’s what all those piercings are about. They’re her armor. If she rejects everyone first, then no one has a chance to reject her.”
    â€œThat’s dumb. Who would reject her?”
    â€œWell, her father, for one.”
    I flinched.
    â€œAnd her mother ignored her, which is as good as rejecting her.”
    I swallowed hard.
    â€œYou know, Mike, being abandoned by your parents can make you feel quite bad about yourself, even though it’s not your fault at all.”
    I shrank in my chair.
    â€œI think the reason she hangs out with Numnut is just to sing in his band.”
    â€œHe has a band?” Then I remembered the amps, drums, and mikes in his pickup.
    â€œYes. It’s truly awful. But Gladys’s father was a singer in some band