he’s not actually fucking her.”
“I’m sure they want you to think he is.”
“But how does it work? He isn’t into her. She’s old. She has all these weird mannerisms. I can just imagine what she would be like in bed, like with all the lights low and the room full of candles, and she’s wearing a headdress of some sort. And a kind of filmy garment to hide her body.” She laughed. “What’s he? Like forty? How does he get it up?”
“Forty-year-olds get it up.”
“Well, yes, they do, but I saw this chart in a men’s magazine that showed that as time passes they don’t get it up as high or as easily. I think the line for the forty-year-olds was at a thirty-degree angle or something like that. The line for the sixty-year-olds wasn’t even above the horizon. It was minus thirty degrees.”
“Something to look forward to.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you stopped smoking, according to the article, because that’s the biggest single factor. Anyway, everyone was sitting around saying what a great movie that was, and how they don’t make them like that anymore, but I thought there was such a basic unanswered question that I couldn’t get into it.”
“I think he’s meant to be in his late twenties.”
“You’re kidding me. His face looked so wrecked and old.”
“Well, in real life I think William Holden was thirty or so. Gloria Swanson was just over fifty.”
“So they were implying that he could just get it up no matter what? I mean, yeah, I knew this guy in college who would get an erection on the bus, just from the vibration, but what is the implication here about this guy—”
“Joe Gillis.”
“About Joe? He’s made out to be humiliated by the whole situation and not into her, and yet he’s supposed to be getting it up and fucking her on a regular basis. I don’t understand it.”
“Well, it’s Hollywood. Maybe he’s thinking about her money. Or maybe he’s closing his eyes and thinking about that other girl, Betty. Or maybe you’re right and he’s just her escort. I mean, there was a lot of censorship in those days, precisely so that the audiences out in Iowa wouldn’t start thinking about those very things you’re thinking about. If the censors let the movie through, then maybe they saw it as an unsavory situation, but not a sex situation. We could ask your dad.”
“I would. But everyone just accepted it.”
“It’s a classic movie. We’ve all seen it a dozen times. It just is what it is.”
“We’re going to have to watch that sort of thing for days now.”
“Your dad likes European movies.”
“Those are worse. I mean, yes, American movies are slow because everyone says everything. You know. A guy walks into a room. He says hi. She’s sitting there. She looks up. She says hi. He says, How are you? She says—after a pause, of course—I’m okay, how are you? He says, How’ve you been? She says, How’ve
you
been? They aren’t questions, either, so they aren’t even that lively. But European movies, they sit there and sit there without saying anything or doing anything. If you’re lucky, at least they aren’t sitting in a car stuck in traffic.”
“That’s
Weekend.
That’s only one movie. And it’s French. French movies are a special taste. What would you watch?”
She flopped back on the bed. “Nothing. I would read a book. Books move a lot faster.”
“There’s a revolutionary idea.”
“Well, they do. You never have a shot in a book of two people walking down the street in real time, step step step. That drives me crazy. And then their mouths open and then words come out of one and then words come out of the other. You might as well be watching two real people walk down a real street, but why would you? And you can’t speed it up. You can cut in and out of it, or you can cut to another scene, but otherwise you’re just stuck, because if it moved faster they would be running and that would look weird. If I’m reading a book, it
“I’m sure they want you to think he is.”
“But how does it work? He isn’t into her. She’s old. She has all these weird mannerisms. I can just imagine what she would be like in bed, like with all the lights low and the room full of candles, and she’s wearing a headdress of some sort. And a kind of filmy garment to hide her body.” She laughed. “What’s he? Like forty? How does he get it up?”
“Forty-year-olds get it up.”
“Well, yes, they do, but I saw this chart in a men’s magazine that showed that as time passes they don’t get it up as high or as easily. I think the line for the forty-year-olds was at a thirty-degree angle or something like that. The line for the sixty-year-olds wasn’t even above the horizon. It was minus thirty degrees.”
“Something to look forward to.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you stopped smoking, according to the article, because that’s the biggest single factor. Anyway, everyone was sitting around saying what a great movie that was, and how they don’t make them like that anymore, but I thought there was such a basic unanswered question that I couldn’t get into it.”
“I think he’s meant to be in his late twenties.”
“You’re kidding me. His face looked so wrecked and old.”
“Well, in real life I think William Holden was thirty or so. Gloria Swanson was just over fifty.”
“So they were implying that he could just get it up no matter what? I mean, yeah, I knew this guy in college who would get an erection on the bus, just from the vibration, but what is the implication here about this guy—”
“Joe Gillis.”
“About Joe? He’s made out to be humiliated by the whole situation and not into her, and yet he’s supposed to be getting it up and fucking her on a regular basis. I don’t understand it.”
“Well, it’s Hollywood. Maybe he’s thinking about her money. Or maybe he’s closing his eyes and thinking about that other girl, Betty. Or maybe you’re right and he’s just her escort. I mean, there was a lot of censorship in those days, precisely so that the audiences out in Iowa wouldn’t start thinking about those very things you’re thinking about. If the censors let the movie through, then maybe they saw it as an unsavory situation, but not a sex situation. We could ask your dad.”
“I would. But everyone just accepted it.”
“It’s a classic movie. We’ve all seen it a dozen times. It just is what it is.”
“We’re going to have to watch that sort of thing for days now.”
“Your dad likes European movies.”
“Those are worse. I mean, yes, American movies are slow because everyone says everything. You know. A guy walks into a room. He says hi. She’s sitting there. She looks up. She says hi. He says, How are you? She says—after a pause, of course—I’m okay, how are you? He says, How’ve you been? She says, How’ve
you
been? They aren’t questions, either, so they aren’t even that lively. But European movies, they sit there and sit there without saying anything or doing anything. If you’re lucky, at least they aren’t sitting in a car stuck in traffic.”
“That’s
Weekend.
That’s only one movie. And it’s French. French movies are a special taste. What would you watch?”
She flopped back on the bed. “Nothing. I would read a book. Books move a lot faster.”
“There’s a revolutionary idea.”
“Well, they do. You never have a shot in a book of two people walking down the street in real time, step step step. That drives me crazy. And then their mouths open and then words come out of one and then words come out of the other. You might as well be watching two real people walk down a real street, but why would you? And you can’t speed it up. You can cut in and out of it, or you can cut to another scene, but otherwise you’re just stuck, because if it moved faster they would be running and that would look weird. If I’m reading a book, it
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