then you know you’ve got an angel, demon, or Guardian with similar abilities on your hands.”
She smiled. “You’re doing it, Jackson!” she said excitedly, seeming to forget her earlier caginess. “You’re learning and growing already. If you accept the Guardianship, you’ll be great at it.”
“ You know,” he said slowly, placing one arm on the bench behind her, “when I joined the army, Vivian was so proud. She reminded me that military service was a longstanding tradition in the Bennett family. She told me that my enlisting meant something, gave me a purpose. She told me that I should be proud.”
“ Were you?”
Jackson laughed dryly, rolling his eyes as he remembered his early days as an Army recruit. “Not as much as I should have been at first. I was twenty years old; young, unattached, and stupid. After basic training I got stationed at Fort Hood in Texas. I spent most of my time drinking and messing around, trying to pick up girls and take them back to the barracks…believe me, in a place like Fort Hood, it wasn’t exactly hard. It was all about good times for me.”
“ What changed?” she asked, leaning toward him, her face rapt with curiosity. Jackson felt his pulse accelerate at her closeness. He cleared his throat and shifted on the bench.
“ September eleventh happened,” he said. “My first tour in Iraq changed everything. It forced me to grow up. After we came back from the first tour I met Rochelle and we got married. Not long after we got married she got pregnant with Jack. I started taking my job more seriously, and within a few years I made Sergeant. I promoted fast because of the war. A few more tours under my belt moved me up the ranks.”
“ Vivian must have been so proud.”
A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Definitely. She never stopped reminding me how important it was that I was serving my country. I believed it, too. The Army defined me, it made me who I was. Before long I became like a mentor to younger soldiers coming in; guys like me, who needed discipline and structure.”
A lump rose in his throat as an image of Edward Reedley flashed through his mind. The boy had never even lived to see nineteen. Sarah moved closer to him on the bench, and when Jackson raised his head he saw tears rolling down her cheeks.
“ Did his death really affect you so much?” she asked as she swiped at her cheek with her hand. “I can’t even imagine.”
“ This last tour, right before we left his parents asked me—“ he trailed off, fighting down his own tears. “They stood on the parade field the day we left and asked me to take care of their son. They trusted me with his life. When that RPG round came flying at the Humvee, I knew there was no way I could get him out in time. Even though everything around me seemed frozen, I knew it was over. I was looking right in his eyes…we both heard the sound of the rocket…his eyes got real wide right before it hit, like he knew it was coming. And all I could do was stand there and watch.”
“ But I don’t understand. You did everything you could to save him.”
Jackson shook his head, the memory of what he had caused was almost too much to bear. “He never would have died if I hadn’t made such a stupid call. The route we took that day was my idea. I chose it because it had been a long day, and we were tired. Everyone trusted me with that decision and I led us straight into an ambush.”
“ You couldn’t have known—“
“ I know, but being the only person that survived the attack only added to my guilt. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing their faces; the faces of my friends, but also those Iraqi terrorists I killed. Once Lieutenant Rawls was dead, I jumped into the turret of the last Humvee standing and fired up into that ridge like a madman. I didn’t stop firing until they were all dead. Their faces haunt me just as much as my friend’s faces. Sometimes I have dreams that they’ve come back for
She smiled. “You’re doing it, Jackson!” she said excitedly, seeming to forget her earlier caginess. “You’re learning and growing already. If you accept the Guardianship, you’ll be great at it.”
“ You know,” he said slowly, placing one arm on the bench behind her, “when I joined the army, Vivian was so proud. She reminded me that military service was a longstanding tradition in the Bennett family. She told me that my enlisting meant something, gave me a purpose. She told me that I should be proud.”
“ Were you?”
Jackson laughed dryly, rolling his eyes as he remembered his early days as an Army recruit. “Not as much as I should have been at first. I was twenty years old; young, unattached, and stupid. After basic training I got stationed at Fort Hood in Texas. I spent most of my time drinking and messing around, trying to pick up girls and take them back to the barracks…believe me, in a place like Fort Hood, it wasn’t exactly hard. It was all about good times for me.”
“ What changed?” she asked, leaning toward him, her face rapt with curiosity. Jackson felt his pulse accelerate at her closeness. He cleared his throat and shifted on the bench.
“ September eleventh happened,” he said. “My first tour in Iraq changed everything. It forced me to grow up. After we came back from the first tour I met Rochelle and we got married. Not long after we got married she got pregnant with Jack. I started taking my job more seriously, and within a few years I made Sergeant. I promoted fast because of the war. A few more tours under my belt moved me up the ranks.”
“ Vivian must have been so proud.”
A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Definitely. She never stopped reminding me how important it was that I was serving my country. I believed it, too. The Army defined me, it made me who I was. Before long I became like a mentor to younger soldiers coming in; guys like me, who needed discipline and structure.”
A lump rose in his throat as an image of Edward Reedley flashed through his mind. The boy had never even lived to see nineteen. Sarah moved closer to him on the bench, and when Jackson raised his head he saw tears rolling down her cheeks.
“ Did his death really affect you so much?” she asked as she swiped at her cheek with her hand. “I can’t even imagine.”
“ This last tour, right before we left his parents asked me—“ he trailed off, fighting down his own tears. “They stood on the parade field the day we left and asked me to take care of their son. They trusted me with his life. When that RPG round came flying at the Humvee, I knew there was no way I could get him out in time. Even though everything around me seemed frozen, I knew it was over. I was looking right in his eyes…we both heard the sound of the rocket…his eyes got real wide right before it hit, like he knew it was coming. And all I could do was stand there and watch.”
“ But I don’t understand. You did everything you could to save him.”
Jackson shook his head, the memory of what he had caused was almost too much to bear. “He never would have died if I hadn’t made such a stupid call. The route we took that day was my idea. I chose it because it had been a long day, and we were tired. Everyone trusted me with that decision and I led us straight into an ambush.”
“ You couldn’t have known—“
“ I know, but being the only person that survived the attack only added to my guilt. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing their faces; the faces of my friends, but also those Iraqi terrorists I killed. Once Lieutenant Rawls was dead, I jumped into the turret of the last Humvee standing and fired up into that ridge like a madman. I didn’t stop firing until they were all dead. Their faces haunt me just as much as my friend’s faces. Sometimes I have dreams that they’ve come back for
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