Take This Regret by A. L. Jackson

voice. “I’m sure he already has plans, Lizzie.”
    I shook my head rapidly. “No plans.” Unless she wanted to consider me sitting on the couch, flipping mindlessly through television channels, plans .
    Elizabeth huffed with indignation and turned away as she seemed to war with something within herself. Final y, she turned back to us and raised her chin as she said,
    “Three o’clock. My house.” They were not just words. They were a warning that I heard loud and clear. Don’t mess this up.
    Swept in relief, I released the heavy breath I’d been holding and promised, “I’l be there.”
    The look Elizabeth gave me told me, You’d better be.
    Lizzie squealed beside me, “Yay!” Then she threw herself into my arms, catching me off guard. I lifted her almost awkwardly, never having held a child, before hugging her to me, holding her tight enough to feel her heart beating wildly against mine. She squeezed her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest. I breathed in the moment, memorizing everything.
    Then against my ear, she whispered, “I love you, Daddy.”
    I gasped and hugged her even closer, as I love you poured from my mouth. My eyes burned with emotion, so much so fast, overwhelming. Tears slipped away before I understood what was happening.
    For the first time since I was a smal boy, I was crying.
    Opening my eyes to find Elizabeth staring at me, I mouthed a soundless thank-you. Whether she understood it or not, she had just given me back my heart. She held my regard for an instant before dropping her attention to the ground. My heart ached as I set Lizzie back on the ground, wishing to hold her forever, but pacified in knowing I would see her soon. She climbed into the booster seat and strapped herself in. Leaning in, I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
    “Goodbye, precious girl.”
    She grinned up at me, scrunching her nose in the cutest way. “Bye, Daddy.”
    Shutting the door was probably the hardest thing I’d ever done.

Elizabeth shuffled her feet in discomfort, her arms wrapped protectively against herself.
    I wanted to say so much, explain, but figured today I’d pushed my luck about as far as it would go.
    “Goodbye, Elizabeth,” I said softly.
    Her face contorted, twisted in agony as she chewed on her trembling lower lip. I hated that I made her feel this way.
    Rushed with the urge to comfort her, I reached out, sooner than I had the chance to think better of it. Wide-eyed with shock, she reeled back. My eyes grew as wide as hers did when I realized what I’d done.
    Then she jumped in her car and sped away.

    Out of breath, I tied off what felt like the thousandth bal oon I’d blown up today. Not surprising, they were pink. Al of them.
    Strong hands came to rest on my shoulders while soothing fingers massaged in an attempt to chase away the tightness in my muscles. “Are you doing okay, Liz?” I shrugged against his hands, glancing over my shoulder at Matthew. What was I going to say? That I was okay? Because I wasn’t. Nothing seemed worse than Christian invading the safety of my home. Sympathetic eyes promised he understood.
    Real y, I didn’t know how I was going to make it through today. Watching Christian interact with Lizzie last Saturday had been nothing less than excruciating. I’d prayed that he just wouldn’t show up, ending the whole thing quickly, instead of dragging the inevitable out.
    Of course, he came.
    Hearing Lizzie cal him Daddy had broken my heart al over again, and hearing him agree had made me want to spit in his face. I couldn’t watch as Lizzie snuggled up to him, how he wrapped his arm around her, how he looked at her. I’d spent most of the time studying greasy fingerprints on the wal , fighting against the urge to grab my daughter and run out the door, and reminding myself that this was the lesser of two evils.
    Then the bastard thanked me as if I’d given him a gift and denied that he would have taken me to court. So typical, he’d