me the most of him and replaying my favorite fantasies a zillion times. Like the one where we’re at school together and everyone knows and it’s okay. Instead of it being against the rules that someone who had obviously never been in love made up.
CHAPTER 8
Tuesday
HIS APARTMENT IS dark except for a lamp in the corner.
I tug nervously on my skirt.
I say, “I’m not that young.”
He looks up from the papers he’s grading at his desk. He drops his pen. He stands up. He stands there for a while, considering.
But then he walks over. Slowly. Making me wait.
My breath is raspy. I’m breathing like I’m running, instead of just hanging here in his living room. Could this mean he wants me, too?
And then he’s right in front of me. I want this so badly I’m shaking.
He reaches out and puts his hand on the back of my head. He slides his fingers through my hair. He couldn’t be any closer to me.
I see what’s going to happen before it happens. His eyes give everything away.
I stare at his lips. And then he’s kissing me.
And that’s when my alarm clock goes off, shattering the dream.
Half an hour later, I’m out of the shower and exhausted but also wired like I’ve been chugging the Jolt. I’m excited and nervous and I don’t want to lose that intense dream feeling. But I don’t really have much of a choice, because it’s called Welcome to Reality.
I picked up the phone like ten times last night to call Ree, but I couldn’t do it. It’s just not the kind of thing you do over the phone. Or in public or . . . yeah, I know, I’m making excuses, but I so don’t want to do this.
But I have to do it. So if Ree gets to school before first period, I’ll take her into the bathroom or somewhere away from everyone, and I’ll tell her. Only, she usually sleeps late, so that’s probably not happening. But sometimes she’s online in the morning, so I could try IMing her and tell her to meet me before first. So I turn on my laptop and get into my e-mail, and there’s a new message from Ree.
who i am
rhiannon ferrara to me
hey, nic.
the good news is, we know he’s waiting for me to
do something ☺
the bad news is, i have no idea what to do ☹
and no, i don’t just want to talk to him. that’s exactly
the type of boring thing someone who’s totally not
exciting or spontaneous would do.
so i’m trying to figure out the most amazing way to
prove who i am.
xo—
ree
p.s. the roses are gorgeous.
Okay. Don’t panic. She doesn’t even know what she wants to do yet. And if she comes up with something and it sucks and you know it won’t work, just tell her that it’s not a good idea and then tell about Gloria so she doesn’t do it anyway. But if it sounds like it might work . . . then don’t tell her about Gloria—and hope she doesn’t find out by the time she does whatever it is—and let her try it? Because if it’s good, it might work?
I forget what I decided before. Everything’s all confused. The last thing I want to be is the person who stands in the way of them getting back together, if that’s even possible. But I also don’t want to be the best friend who knew this whole time and didn’t tell her.
Anyway, she’s not online, so I’m about to shut down my computer when a new e-mail from Danny pops up.
cruller and thinking
Danny Trager to me
Nicole—
I’m leaving for school in a minute. Will pass by Krispy Kreme and grab a cruller, your favorite. I’ll be eating my cruller and thinking of you.
—Danny
When I see Sheila come in gangsta late to math, I know she’s on the road of no return.
Here’s the thing. Sheila was my good friend up until a couple months ago. Not that she’s not my friend anymore, but now it’s all about Brad. So our friendship isn’t what it used to be.
I get that he’s hot and all, but what I don’t get is why she’s doing this to herself. Like, how can they have anything in common? I mean, I know love makes you do crazy things, but
CHAPTER 8
Tuesday
HIS APARTMENT IS dark except for a lamp in the corner.
I tug nervously on my skirt.
I say, “I’m not that young.”
He looks up from the papers he’s grading at his desk. He drops his pen. He stands up. He stands there for a while, considering.
But then he walks over. Slowly. Making me wait.
My breath is raspy. I’m breathing like I’m running, instead of just hanging here in his living room. Could this mean he wants me, too?
And then he’s right in front of me. I want this so badly I’m shaking.
He reaches out and puts his hand on the back of my head. He slides his fingers through my hair. He couldn’t be any closer to me.
I see what’s going to happen before it happens. His eyes give everything away.
I stare at his lips. And then he’s kissing me.
And that’s when my alarm clock goes off, shattering the dream.
Half an hour later, I’m out of the shower and exhausted but also wired like I’ve been chugging the Jolt. I’m excited and nervous and I don’t want to lose that intense dream feeling. But I don’t really have much of a choice, because it’s called Welcome to Reality.
I picked up the phone like ten times last night to call Ree, but I couldn’t do it. It’s just not the kind of thing you do over the phone. Or in public or . . . yeah, I know, I’m making excuses, but I so don’t want to do this.
But I have to do it. So if Ree gets to school before first period, I’ll take her into the bathroom or somewhere away from everyone, and I’ll tell her. Only, she usually sleeps late, so that’s probably not happening. But sometimes she’s online in the morning, so I could try IMing her and tell her to meet me before first. So I turn on my laptop and get into my e-mail, and there’s a new message from Ree.
who i am
rhiannon ferrara to me
hey, nic.
the good news is, we know he’s waiting for me to
do something ☺
the bad news is, i have no idea what to do ☹
and no, i don’t just want to talk to him. that’s exactly
the type of boring thing someone who’s totally not
exciting or spontaneous would do.
so i’m trying to figure out the most amazing way to
prove who i am.
xo—
ree
p.s. the roses are gorgeous.
Okay. Don’t panic. She doesn’t even know what she wants to do yet. And if she comes up with something and it sucks and you know it won’t work, just tell her that it’s not a good idea and then tell about Gloria so she doesn’t do it anyway. But if it sounds like it might work . . . then don’t tell her about Gloria—and hope she doesn’t find out by the time she does whatever it is—and let her try it? Because if it’s good, it might work?
I forget what I decided before. Everything’s all confused. The last thing I want to be is the person who stands in the way of them getting back together, if that’s even possible. But I also don’t want to be the best friend who knew this whole time and didn’t tell her.
Anyway, she’s not online, so I’m about to shut down my computer when a new e-mail from Danny pops up.
cruller and thinking
Danny Trager to me
Nicole—
I’m leaving for school in a minute. Will pass by Krispy Kreme and grab a cruller, your favorite. I’ll be eating my cruller and thinking of you.
—Danny
When I see Sheila come in gangsta late to math, I know she’s on the road of no return.
Here’s the thing. Sheila was my good friend up until a couple months ago. Not that she’s not my friend anymore, but now it’s all about Brad. So our friendship isn’t what it used to be.
I get that he’s hot and all, but what I don’t get is why she’s doing this to herself. Like, how can they have anything in common? I mean, I know love makes you do crazy things, but
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