wonderful. If he ignored me again by just walking away, I decided I deserved the punishment. I was a lousy person anf deserved every ounce of his wrath.
“Grace, are you okay?” His voice was just loud enough for me to hear.
Did I have to answer? “No!”
“What would you have me do?”
Him do? “I’m the problem. So I don’t see how you could help. I’m tired of the stinking talking heads. I just want to make it through one measly day without something screwing it up.”
“I wish that for you too.”
What does that mean? I looked at him showing my ridiculous non-waterproof mascara raccoon face and crossed my hands in front of them because not only was I hideous, he was shirtless .
When my face returned to the net I blinked my eyes downward looking at a frightened, shaking Ian lying beneath me on the green grass looking up. I was so surprised that I just kept blinking.
“I wish that too, Grace. I wish this was all easier for you. I don’t know that I can tell you what to do. You seem to be such an independent thinker. Just when I think I might, can predict what your next move is, you shock the hell out of me. What am I to do with that but go with it? Always have. It’s just now, you know how I feel.”
“Well, I’m tired of just going with it. I want some kind of normal.”
“Some kind of normal is not what you’ll find here.” His voice was calm.
“Ian, I’m not normal. I went my whole life with boys scared of me. Too witchy . Too freaky. Now, I have them all around me. I can’t take Pike.” Ian’s eyes grew wide beneath the netting. “Yes, I’m telling you out loud. I can’t take his advances on me. He has some kind of hold on me. It consumes me. And I don’t know why.”
He was quiet, pursing his lips just so. “Maybe you need to find out.”
I sat up fast and jumped off. “NO! I don’t. And you’re not going to sit here and tell me I should.” I crawled under the trampoline and sat beside where he lay pulling my knees up to my chest. “You don’t want that. I don’t want that. End of story. He needs to sort himself out all by his lonely self. Not with me.”
“You sound confused with what you want.” Ian was being truly honest with me, but frankly, he was lying. It hurt so deep down inside that this felt like the first time since finding out his true identity that he was truly honest about his heart.
“I’m not confused about you. I know what I want. And he can jump off a cliff for all I care. It’s not the kind of pull you think it is. He doesn’t kindle anything inside me like you do. It only looks like that because I’m forced to be nervous all the time that he will come too close to me. He can be nice and give me advice sometimes like an advisor then other times he throws himself at me. I don’t like it. I don’t know what he does to make me that way when he is near me, but I don’t want to be anywhere near him anymore! Ever! Just keep him at a distance so I can’t see him.”
He watched my eyes blinking rapidly now. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“It is. And what about you?”
“I want you safe. Happy. Smiling again.”
My Ian. He was truly devoted. That is why I love him. He really wants to protect me from all heartache and badness in all the worlds we live in. “I will, if you are. And Pike can watch from a distance. He needs to stay away from me.”
“He is the best tracker I know. The best hunter. The best surveyor—“
“Sure. Sure. I know. And Grace babysitter. But I think he can do all that from behind the trees.”
“Very well.” He looked up and sighed. “Can I hold you now?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” I moved a little feeling relieved that this conversation was over.
“Do you want on top?” He smiled devilishly with a note of something
“Grace, are you okay?” His voice was just loud enough for me to hear.
Did I have to answer? “No!”
“What would you have me do?”
Him do? “I’m the problem. So I don’t see how you could help. I’m tired of the stinking talking heads. I just want to make it through one measly day without something screwing it up.”
“I wish that for you too.”
What does that mean? I looked at him showing my ridiculous non-waterproof mascara raccoon face and crossed my hands in front of them because not only was I hideous, he was shirtless .
When my face returned to the net I blinked my eyes downward looking at a frightened, shaking Ian lying beneath me on the green grass looking up. I was so surprised that I just kept blinking.
“I wish that too, Grace. I wish this was all easier for you. I don’t know that I can tell you what to do. You seem to be such an independent thinker. Just when I think I might, can predict what your next move is, you shock the hell out of me. What am I to do with that but go with it? Always have. It’s just now, you know how I feel.”
“Well, I’m tired of just going with it. I want some kind of normal.”
“Some kind of normal is not what you’ll find here.” His voice was calm.
“Ian, I’m not normal. I went my whole life with boys scared of me. Too witchy . Too freaky. Now, I have them all around me. I can’t take Pike.” Ian’s eyes grew wide beneath the netting. “Yes, I’m telling you out loud. I can’t take his advances on me. He has some kind of hold on me. It consumes me. And I don’t know why.”
He was quiet, pursing his lips just so. “Maybe you need to find out.”
I sat up fast and jumped off. “NO! I don’t. And you’re not going to sit here and tell me I should.” I crawled under the trampoline and sat beside where he lay pulling my knees up to my chest. “You don’t want that. I don’t want that. End of story. He needs to sort himself out all by his lonely self. Not with me.”
“You sound confused with what you want.” Ian was being truly honest with me, but frankly, he was lying. It hurt so deep down inside that this felt like the first time since finding out his true identity that he was truly honest about his heart.
“I’m not confused about you. I know what I want. And he can jump off a cliff for all I care. It’s not the kind of pull you think it is. He doesn’t kindle anything inside me like you do. It only looks like that because I’m forced to be nervous all the time that he will come too close to me. He can be nice and give me advice sometimes like an advisor then other times he throws himself at me. I don’t like it. I don’t know what he does to make me that way when he is near me, but I don’t want to be anywhere near him anymore! Ever! Just keep him at a distance so I can’t see him.”
He watched my eyes blinking rapidly now. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“It is. And what about you?”
“I want you safe. Happy. Smiling again.”
My Ian. He was truly devoted. That is why I love him. He really wants to protect me from all heartache and badness in all the worlds we live in. “I will, if you are. And Pike can watch from a distance. He needs to stay away from me.”
“He is the best tracker I know. The best hunter. The best surveyor—“
“Sure. Sure. I know. And Grace babysitter. But I think he can do all that from behind the trees.”
“Very well.” He looked up and sighed. “Can I hold you now?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” I moved a little feeling relieved that this conversation was over.
“Do you want on top?” He smiled devilishly with a note of something
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