irritably. ‘Why does everyone assume there’s something going on just because we were once involved? There’s absolutely nothing going on. How many times do I have to say it?’
Evie looked at her for a lengthy moment. ‘You are in love with Matthew, aren’t you?’ she asked.
‘Of course I love him,’ Lexi said. And she meant it. She really did. Matthew Brentwood was one of the nicest men she’d ever met. He treated her with respect; he made her feel important and special. It wasn’t his fault she didn’t enjoy being intimate with him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, he had been incredibly patient with her. She hated herself for disappointing him. So many other men would have ended the relationship but, no, he had insisted it would get better once they were married. She felt safe and secure knowing he would always be there for her in spite of her shortcomings. She felt a treasured part of his loving family. His parents and two sisters had welcomed her with open arms. Her relationship with Matthew would never be a hair-raising, white-knuckle roller-coaster ride; it was more like a safe, gentle cruise on a peaceful lake.
It was what she wanted.
‘Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love,’ Evie said. ‘Sometimes a relationship can feel right but be totally wrong.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with my relationship with Matthew,’ Lexi said. ‘I just wish people would mind their own business.’
‘Sor-ry,’ Evie said. ‘No need to be so prickly.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Lexi said, her shoulders going down. ‘I’m just dealing with some stuff right now.’
Evie frowned. ‘What stuff?’
Lexi gave her sister a direct look. ‘Did you know Dad had threatened to end Sam’s career five years ago?’
Evie blew out a whooshing breath. ‘I thought you might stumble across that sooner or later. I was hoping you wouldn’t find out.’
‘You knew about it and didn’t tell me?’ Lexi asked.
‘I didn’t find out about it until the other night at the pub,’ Evie said. ‘Finn thought it highly amusing to think of Dad trying to suck up to Sam. I asked him what the hell he meant and he told me he’d always suspected Dad had had something to do with Sam leaving. I had no idea he had pulled that sort of stunt. When we heard Sam had left, we all assumed he’d got some sort of scholarship to study overseas. Looking back now, I think Dad encouraged everyone to think that. He wouldn’t have wanted anyone accusing him of blackmail.’
‘No,’ Lexi said bitterly. ‘Instead, he made me think Sam had left because he couldn’t care less about me. How could he do that? How could he act so despicably and think it wouldn’t have consequences?’
‘You can’t change anything now, Lexi,’ Evie said. ‘You were so young back then. You wouldn’t havestayed with Sam in the long term. Surely you realise that?’
‘How do you know that?’ Lexi asked with a furious glare. ‘How can you be so sure of what I would or wouldn’t have done?’
Evie frowned again. ‘No need to bite my head off, Lexi.’
‘I’m tired of everyone interfering,’ Lexi said, clenching her hands into tight balls of tension. ‘I’m so angry with Dad. I’m angry at Sam. But most of all I’m furiously angry at myself.’
‘I don’t see why,’ Evie said reasonably. ‘You thought you were in love and got caught up in the fantasy of it. It’s what kids do.’
‘I was nineteen, not nine,’ Lexi said. ‘I was old enough to know my own mind. I should have fought for what I wanted. Why was I so weak? Why didn’t I stand up for myself?’
‘Lexi …’ Evie’s tone softened. ‘Just let it go, OK? You’re going to make yourself miserable in the long run. You can’t live your life looking back over your shoulder all the time. You’re happy and settled now. Don’t go stirring up a hornet’s nest just for the heck of it.’
‘You don’t understand,’ Lexi said, fighting tears. ‘Dad ruined my life.
Evie looked at her for a lengthy moment. ‘You are in love with Matthew, aren’t you?’ she asked.
‘Of course I love him,’ Lexi said. And she meant it. She really did. Matthew Brentwood was one of the nicest men she’d ever met. He treated her with respect; he made her feel important and special. It wasn’t his fault she didn’t enjoy being intimate with him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, he had been incredibly patient with her. She hated herself for disappointing him. So many other men would have ended the relationship but, no, he had insisted it would get better once they were married. She felt safe and secure knowing he would always be there for her in spite of her shortcomings. She felt a treasured part of his loving family. His parents and two sisters had welcomed her with open arms. Her relationship with Matthew would never be a hair-raising, white-knuckle roller-coaster ride; it was more like a safe, gentle cruise on a peaceful lake.
It was what she wanted.
‘Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love,’ Evie said. ‘Sometimes a relationship can feel right but be totally wrong.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with my relationship with Matthew,’ Lexi said. ‘I just wish people would mind their own business.’
‘Sor-ry,’ Evie said. ‘No need to be so prickly.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Lexi said, her shoulders going down. ‘I’m just dealing with some stuff right now.’
Evie frowned. ‘What stuff?’
Lexi gave her sister a direct look. ‘Did you know Dad had threatened to end Sam’s career five years ago?’
Evie blew out a whooshing breath. ‘I thought you might stumble across that sooner or later. I was hoping you wouldn’t find out.’
‘You knew about it and didn’t tell me?’ Lexi asked.
‘I didn’t find out about it until the other night at the pub,’ Evie said. ‘Finn thought it highly amusing to think of Dad trying to suck up to Sam. I asked him what the hell he meant and he told me he’d always suspected Dad had had something to do with Sam leaving. I had no idea he had pulled that sort of stunt. When we heard Sam had left, we all assumed he’d got some sort of scholarship to study overseas. Looking back now, I think Dad encouraged everyone to think that. He wouldn’t have wanted anyone accusing him of blackmail.’
‘No,’ Lexi said bitterly. ‘Instead, he made me think Sam had left because he couldn’t care less about me. How could he do that? How could he act so despicably and think it wouldn’t have consequences?’
‘You can’t change anything now, Lexi,’ Evie said. ‘You were so young back then. You wouldn’t havestayed with Sam in the long term. Surely you realise that?’
‘How do you know that?’ Lexi asked with a furious glare. ‘How can you be so sure of what I would or wouldn’t have done?’
Evie frowned again. ‘No need to bite my head off, Lexi.’
‘I’m tired of everyone interfering,’ Lexi said, clenching her hands into tight balls of tension. ‘I’m so angry with Dad. I’m angry at Sam. But most of all I’m furiously angry at myself.’
‘I don’t see why,’ Evie said reasonably. ‘You thought you were in love and got caught up in the fantasy of it. It’s what kids do.’
‘I was nineteen, not nine,’ Lexi said. ‘I was old enough to know my own mind. I should have fought for what I wanted. Why was I so weak? Why didn’t I stand up for myself?’
‘Lexi …’ Evie’s tone softened. ‘Just let it go, OK? You’re going to make yourself miserable in the long run. You can’t live your life looking back over your shoulder all the time. You’re happy and settled now. Don’t go stirring up a hornet’s nest just for the heck of it.’
‘You don’t understand,’ Lexi said, fighting tears. ‘Dad ruined my life.
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