Tags:
Drama,
American,
USA,
Contemporary Fiction,
Poetry,
translation,
Literary Fiction,
Washington (D.C.),
Novel,
Virginity,
italian,
Mountains,
Shepherd,
immigration,
cross-dressing,
Translated fiction,
Rite of passage,
Frontiers,
realism,
Albania,
women’s literary fiction,
emigration,
transvestism,
Albanian,
sworn virgins,
Kanun,
Hana Doda,
patriarchy,
Rockville,
Rrnajë,
raki,
Gheg,
kulla,
Hikmet,
Vergine giurata
conversation short.
The village is without a replacement doctor for a long time. The Ministry of Health doesnât have another man to sacrifice to the mountains. The only nurse decides to devote herself to sick children, leaving the adults to fend for themselves.
âHana, my girl,â the nurse says one day. âYou need to go down to Scutari to pick up your uncleâs drugs. I canât do everything, and anyway itâs dangerous, a woman all alone ⦠Iâm married and my husband wonât allow it.â
âThey wouldnât give me the drugs, Comrade Nurse. Theyâre imported.â
âIâll call the pharmacist in Scutari,â the nurse reassures her. âI know him personally.â
The nurse is in her forties, but her expression makes her look older, almost ancient. She observes Hana with curiosity, her big eyes boring into her.
âWhat about you? Arenât you going back to Tirana?â
âIâll go say goodbye to a few friends and find out when I can retake the final exam that I missed.â
âIâve never been to Tirana, Iâve only ever seen it on TV. Is it really that beautiful or do they make it look that way so that we mountain people envy them?â
Hana thinks about it.
âThere are buildings and asphalt,â she says finally.
âAnd I suppose your shoes donât get muddy?â
âIt depends.â
More silence. The nurseâs curiosity goes into standby.
âIâm tired,â Hana says, and goes out without saying goodbye.
Gjergj tries to keep his pain under control, but when he has no energy left to fight it he turns nasty.
âGet out of here! Go away! I donât want you here!â
She obeys and takes refuge in her room with her books. She leafs through them, but the feelings she once had for them have turned into smoke that chokes her suddenly. She doesnât love them anymore, and she feels guilty.
One day she tells her uncle she has to go down to Scutari to get his drugs. He looks a little better this morning; his expression is lively and a vein is pulsing on the back of his hand. He shakes his head.
âI have to go,â Hana says. âYou only have three daysâ worth of medication here.â
Heâs still against it.
âIâll go tomorrow morning with one of the trucks carrying wood down to the city. I expect a driver will have room for me.â
He waves his arms in total disapproval.
âSo tell me, what should we do?â Hana asks rudely. âYou tell me, since you know everything. Am I supposed to stay here and watch you suffering without doing anything to help?â
He looks daggers at her, tries to say something but lets out little more than a grunt.
âYeah, I know, Uncle. Iâm a woman and I shouldnât be talking like this. I should know my place.â
He grabs the stick that he keeps by his bed and thumps it on the table. His hand is so unsteady that the stick falls onto the worn-out kilim .
âIâm sorry,â she says, as soon as she gets over the shock. âForgive me ⦠Will you forgive me?â
She hugs him. She curls up between his shoulder and his chin. Gjergjâs heart is a drum that has lost its beat.
âYou canât go alone, my little one,â he whispers in her ear. âItâs dangerous.â
âIâll try. Look, I know how to take care of myself.â
âThere are wolves out there, my daughter. This place is full of wolves.â
There is a brief, transparent moment of silence. Then Hana decides to play along with her uncle.
âItâs summer, Uncle Gjergj. The wolves arenât that hungry.â
She gives him a couple of pills that are supposed to help him sleep. Then she goes up to her room and stands by the window listening to the late afternoon: the dialogue between plants and animals, life twisting up and then stretching out. A year ago, Hana would have been moved by
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