they felt the need to protect in some small way. Gen by pleading with me to be careful how I reinvent myself. Drew by taking on the responsibility to help me get to the other side still intact.
"I don't understand what's in it for you?" I asked, staring hard into those dove-grey eyes.
He blinked, sucked in an almost imperceptible breath of air, then flexed his jaw. It was his tell. I was beginning to see. When he was reluctant to admit something, or ask something that was on his mind. In this case, he wasn't sure how much to show me of him.
"I've already said," he finally answered. "It would be a regrettable shame if I let you disappear along with the rest."
"So, this is your good Samaritan moment for the year?" I asked, incredulously.
His lips quirked, one side higher than the other.
"Oh, don't get me wrong, Kelly. I intend to enjoy myself while I help you find your way to the other side. With the knowledge that I don't have to stand in line behind another four men. So, phone your last one, cut him loose. Then, for the duration in which I help you find a happy medium in all of this, you will be just mine."
"Exclusivity," I said, sounding the word out on my tongue. I had never been in an exclusive relationship before.
"Do you want to be happy? Live life in a safe and secure way?" he asked.
"Yes," I whispered.
"I can get you there. I can show you how. I can make it happen. But to do that, you need to choose just me. Part of the whole safe and secure thing is sticking to one person you can trust."
He held my uncertain gaze.
"Look at today," he whispered, using my hideous Monday to prove his point and back up his claim. "Were you happy?"
I closed my eyes, knowing where he was going with this.
"Answer me, Kelly. Were you at all happy today?"
I shook my head to say no.
"Were you safe?"
I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head again.
"Were you secure?"
"No."
"I promise I can give that to you, for as long as you need it. All you have to do is phone the last one and say goodbye."
I opened my eyes and took a leap.
"I've never done this before." And I wasn't talking about calling it off with Spike. I'd certainly proven today that I could break up with a guy. Or two.
But Drew understood my meaning without even having to try.
"That's why you're losing yourself right now." And I was. I was so damn lost. "Let me guide you, let me show you how good it can be. Exclusivity does not mean the end of creativity. The end of excitement and thrills."
I frowned. Wasn't it the thrills, the hits, that led me astray?
Drew reached out and cupped my cheek tenderly.
"There is nothing wrong with wanting that feeling," he said fiercely. "Just how you get it, that's all."
"You think what I've been doing is wrong? Bad?" It was a nasty question, I knew it as soon as I said it. And part of me was appalled I'd voiced the words at all. Did Drew judge me? I just had to know.
He didn't even hesitate. "It got you through the last decade, didn't it? I'm guessing there's a reason why you chose this lifestyle and for a while it helped you get by. So, no, there is no wrong or bad to it. But I'm here now, and you've already decided it's time for a change. Let me show how good it can be, how much fun can be had, how much happiness an exclusive relationship can bring."
The world closed in to just us, just his words, just his soft touch on my cheek. Was this real?
"Kelly," he said, voice suddenly husky. "Do you think I won't fuck you against the wall at Dom's house anymore?" It was real.
Then he pressed close enough for me to feel his arousal, which by the looks of it hadn't abated at all. He wanted this. He wanted me to himself. He was arguing the case of his life.
"Sweetheart," he murmured, and my heart stuttered to a stop.
Dominic called Genevieve that. A term of endearment from the heart. But Drew wasn't offering me his heart, he was offering me his guidance and protection while I found myself again.
I liked the word slipping off his
"I don't understand what's in it for you?" I asked, staring hard into those dove-grey eyes.
He blinked, sucked in an almost imperceptible breath of air, then flexed his jaw. It was his tell. I was beginning to see. When he was reluctant to admit something, or ask something that was on his mind. In this case, he wasn't sure how much to show me of him.
"I've already said," he finally answered. "It would be a regrettable shame if I let you disappear along with the rest."
"So, this is your good Samaritan moment for the year?" I asked, incredulously.
His lips quirked, one side higher than the other.
"Oh, don't get me wrong, Kelly. I intend to enjoy myself while I help you find your way to the other side. With the knowledge that I don't have to stand in line behind another four men. So, phone your last one, cut him loose. Then, for the duration in which I help you find a happy medium in all of this, you will be just mine."
"Exclusivity," I said, sounding the word out on my tongue. I had never been in an exclusive relationship before.
"Do you want to be happy? Live life in a safe and secure way?" he asked.
"Yes," I whispered.
"I can get you there. I can show you how. I can make it happen. But to do that, you need to choose just me. Part of the whole safe and secure thing is sticking to one person you can trust."
He held my uncertain gaze.
"Look at today," he whispered, using my hideous Monday to prove his point and back up his claim. "Were you happy?"
I closed my eyes, knowing where he was going with this.
"Answer me, Kelly. Were you at all happy today?"
I shook my head to say no.
"Were you safe?"
I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head again.
"Were you secure?"
"No."
"I promise I can give that to you, for as long as you need it. All you have to do is phone the last one and say goodbye."
I opened my eyes and took a leap.
"I've never done this before." And I wasn't talking about calling it off with Spike. I'd certainly proven today that I could break up with a guy. Or two.
But Drew understood my meaning without even having to try.
"That's why you're losing yourself right now." And I was. I was so damn lost. "Let me guide you, let me show you how good it can be. Exclusivity does not mean the end of creativity. The end of excitement and thrills."
I frowned. Wasn't it the thrills, the hits, that led me astray?
Drew reached out and cupped my cheek tenderly.
"There is nothing wrong with wanting that feeling," he said fiercely. "Just how you get it, that's all."
"You think what I've been doing is wrong? Bad?" It was a nasty question, I knew it as soon as I said it. And part of me was appalled I'd voiced the words at all. Did Drew judge me? I just had to know.
He didn't even hesitate. "It got you through the last decade, didn't it? I'm guessing there's a reason why you chose this lifestyle and for a while it helped you get by. So, no, there is no wrong or bad to it. But I'm here now, and you've already decided it's time for a change. Let me show how good it can be, how much fun can be had, how much happiness an exclusive relationship can bring."
The world closed in to just us, just his words, just his soft touch on my cheek. Was this real?
"Kelly," he said, voice suddenly husky. "Do you think I won't fuck you against the wall at Dom's house anymore?" It was real.
Then he pressed close enough for me to feel his arousal, which by the looks of it hadn't abated at all. He wanted this. He wanted me to himself. He was arguing the case of his life.
"Sweetheart," he murmured, and my heart stuttered to a stop.
Dominic called Genevieve that. A term of endearment from the heart. But Drew wasn't offering me his heart, he was offering me his guidance and protection while I found myself again.
I liked the word slipping off his
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