kept hitting me and hitting me, until I didn’t even feel it anymore. Then he raped me.”
“That’s insane.” With her arms around Phoebe, Celeste led her to the couch. “There must have been something you could have done to protect yourself. Did you go to the police?”
With a humorless laugh, Phoebe sipped at her drink. “It’s legal for a man to beat his wife in Jaquir. If he has cause. The women took care of me. They were really very kind.”
“Phoebe, why didn’t you write me, let me know what was happening? I might have been able to help. I would have helped.”
“Even if I could have smuggled a letter out, there would have been nothing you could have done. Abdu is absolute power in Jaquir, religiously, politically, legally. You have never experienced anything like it. I know it must be almost impossible for you to imagine my way of life there. I started to dream of getting out. I would have needed Abdu’s permission to leave legally, but I fantasized about escaping. But there was Adrianne. I couldn’t have gotten out with her, I couldn’t leave without her. She’s the most precious thing in my life, Celeste. I think I would have ended it a dozen times if it hadn’t been for Addy.”
“How much does she know?”
“I can’t be sure. Very little, I hope. She knows her father’s feelings for her, but I’ve tried to explain that they’re just a reflection of his feelings for me. The women loved her, and I think she was happy enough the way things were. After all, she’d never known anything else. He was going to send her away.”
“Away? Where?”
“To school, in Germany. That’s when I knew I
had
to make a move. He was making arrangements to have her married on her fifteenth birthday.”
“Jesus. Poor little girl.”
“I couldn’t bear it, couldn’t bear to think that she would go through what I was going through. The trip to Paris was like a sign. Now or never. Without you it would have been never.”
“I only wish I could do more. I’d like to find the bastard and castrate him with a butter knife.”
“I can’t ever go back, Celeste.”
Celeste glanced up in some surprise. “Of course not.”
“No, I mean never.” Phoebe poured another drink, spilling liquor over the sides of the glass. “If he comes, I’ll kill myself before I go back.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re in New York, you’re safe.”
“But there’s Addy.”
“She’s safe too.” Celeste thought of the dark, intense eyes with the bruises of fatigue beneath. “He’ll have to get through me. First thing we do is go to the press, maybe the State Department.”
“No, no, I don’t want the publicity. I don’t dare risk it, for Addy’s sake. She already knows more than she should.”
Celeste opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again. “You have a point.”
“I need to put it behind me, behind both of us. I want to go back to work, start living again.”
“Why don’t you start the living first? When you’re a little steadier on your feet, you can think about going back to work.”
“I’ve got to get Addy a place to live, school, clothes.”
“There’s time for all that. Right now you can stay here, catch your breath, give both yourself and Addy time to adjust.”
Phoebe nodded as the tears began to fall. “You know the worst of it, Celeste? I still love him.”
Silently, Adrianne climbed back up the stairs.
Chapter Seven
The sun was streaming through the chink of the drapes when Adrianne woke again. Her eyes were gritty from crying, her head light. Still, she was eight, and her first thought was of food. She shrugged back into the dress she had worn in Paris and started downstairs.
The apartment was much bigger than it had seemed to her the night before. Arching doorways led off the hallway. She was too hungry to explore, so went quietly downstairs, hoping to find fruit and bread.
She heard people talking. A man and a woman. Then there was laughter, a great deal of
“That’s insane.” With her arms around Phoebe, Celeste led her to the couch. “There must have been something you could have done to protect yourself. Did you go to the police?”
With a humorless laugh, Phoebe sipped at her drink. “It’s legal for a man to beat his wife in Jaquir. If he has cause. The women took care of me. They were really very kind.”
“Phoebe, why didn’t you write me, let me know what was happening? I might have been able to help. I would have helped.”
“Even if I could have smuggled a letter out, there would have been nothing you could have done. Abdu is absolute power in Jaquir, religiously, politically, legally. You have never experienced anything like it. I know it must be almost impossible for you to imagine my way of life there. I started to dream of getting out. I would have needed Abdu’s permission to leave legally, but I fantasized about escaping. But there was Adrianne. I couldn’t have gotten out with her, I couldn’t leave without her. She’s the most precious thing in my life, Celeste. I think I would have ended it a dozen times if it hadn’t been for Addy.”
“How much does she know?”
“I can’t be sure. Very little, I hope. She knows her father’s feelings for her, but I’ve tried to explain that they’re just a reflection of his feelings for me. The women loved her, and I think she was happy enough the way things were. After all, she’d never known anything else. He was going to send her away.”
“Away? Where?”
“To school, in Germany. That’s when I knew I
had
to make a move. He was making arrangements to have her married on her fifteenth birthday.”
“Jesus. Poor little girl.”
“I couldn’t bear it, couldn’t bear to think that she would go through what I was going through. The trip to Paris was like a sign. Now or never. Without you it would have been never.”
“I only wish I could do more. I’d like to find the bastard and castrate him with a butter knife.”
“I can’t ever go back, Celeste.”
Celeste glanced up in some surprise. “Of course not.”
“No, I mean never.” Phoebe poured another drink, spilling liquor over the sides of the glass. “If he comes, I’ll kill myself before I go back.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re in New York, you’re safe.”
“But there’s Addy.”
“She’s safe too.” Celeste thought of the dark, intense eyes with the bruises of fatigue beneath. “He’ll have to get through me. First thing we do is go to the press, maybe the State Department.”
“No, no, I don’t want the publicity. I don’t dare risk it, for Addy’s sake. She already knows more than she should.”
Celeste opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again. “You have a point.”
“I need to put it behind me, behind both of us. I want to go back to work, start living again.”
“Why don’t you start the living first? When you’re a little steadier on your feet, you can think about going back to work.”
“I’ve got to get Addy a place to live, school, clothes.”
“There’s time for all that. Right now you can stay here, catch your breath, give both yourself and Addy time to adjust.”
Phoebe nodded as the tears began to fall. “You know the worst of it, Celeste? I still love him.”
Silently, Adrianne climbed back up the stairs.
Chapter Seven
The sun was streaming through the chink of the drapes when Adrianne woke again. Her eyes were gritty from crying, her head light. Still, she was eight, and her first thought was of food. She shrugged back into the dress she had worn in Paris and started downstairs.
The apartment was much bigger than it had seemed to her the night before. Arching doorways led off the hallway. She was too hungry to explore, so went quietly downstairs, hoping to find fruit and bread.
She heard people talking. A man and a woman. Then there was laughter, a great deal of
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