his mechanical trimmer, first on the right side, then on the left, then a touch on the right again, then a correcting smidge on the left until both sides had risen, like rungs of a ladder, to the top of the ears.
“Not too short on the sideburns,” Lustig had said, trying not to move his head as he spoke. He was leafing through one of Cee-Dee’s dirty magazines that, more than the haircuts, is what kept the customers coming back for more. The pages, worn thin and greasy from fingering, were full of garter belts and paraffin breasts — the kind of thing that turned Lustig off rather than on. But he studied them with the proper amount of intensity, grunting here or sneering there to keep up appearances.
“Enough, enough,” Lustig had said, glancing at his exposed ears jutting conspicuously from the sides of his head. “There’s not much you can do with the ship rolling and pitching like this. I’ll straighten them myself.” (“What did you do — flunk sideburns?” Lustig thought to say when he reviewed the scene later.)
Cee-Dee had held a small mirror behind Lustig so that he could see the back of his head in the mirror in front of him. It was a touch that Cee-Dee had picked up from a $1.25 barber shop in Detroit and reserved for his officer customers.
“Looks great, just great,” Lustig had said, studying the back of the head that was supposed to be his in the mirror. He didn’t know what else to say.
“Whata cunt, huh?” Cee-Dee had said conversationally, nodding down at the girl peering up at Lustig from the magazine. “There’s a cow on the cover, but inside is real good stuff. Well, they say you can’t judge a book by the cover.”
(Later Lustig thought to respond: “Some people can’t even judge it by its contents.”)
Cee-Dee had begun unpinning the sheet that kept some of the hair off the customer. “Hey, Mister Lustig, why did the XO put that note in tomorrow’s plan of the day about no sightseers on the bridge?”
“Because the skipper was pissed by everyone and his uncle rushing up there when that plane went down today.”
“I guess that means I’ll never get to see the friggin’ bridge,” Cee-Dee had said.
“What do you mean never?” Lustig had asked. “Haven’t you ever been on the bridge?”
“Nope, I never been. I been on the Eugene Ebersole a year come August but I never thought to go till I read you can’t. Ain’t that something. Closing the barn door after the horse’s skedaddled.” The aphorism was wildly inappropriate but Lustig didn’t want to embarrass Cee-Dee, so he let it pass.
“Listen, Cee-Dee, I got the four-to-eight tomorrow morning. After reveille you grab a cup of coffee and come up and if anyone stops you, you say the coffee is for me, that I asked for it. And put three sugars in it, okay?”
“That’s friggin’ decent of you Mister Lustig, to go to all that trouble for me.”
“Is it,” Cee-Dee said moments after he arrived on the bridge, coffee in hand, “supposed to be like that?”
“Is what supposed to be like what?” Lustig asked. He andCee-Dee were on the signal bridge along with two signalmen, Angry Pettis Foreman and Jefferson Waterman.
“The American flag — is it supposed to be like that? A friggin’ disgrace, that’s what it is.”
Lustig followed Cee-Dee’s gaze. He could see the The Stars and Stripes shedding their wrinkles into the morning air. And he could see — “Oh my God Almighty” — that the flag was upside-down .
“What do you mean upside-down?” the XO yelled into the phone when Lustig woke him with the news.
“Upside-down! What do you mean upside-down?” Captain Jones fumed when the XO burst into his cabin.
“You know what an upside-down flag means,” the Captain told the XO after the two of them had trooped to the signal bridge to see the apparition for themselves. “Good Christ, imagine if the people on the aircraft carrier had spotted it, eh? We’d have been laughed out of the war
“Not too short on the sideburns,” Lustig had said, trying not to move his head as he spoke. He was leafing through one of Cee-Dee’s dirty magazines that, more than the haircuts, is what kept the customers coming back for more. The pages, worn thin and greasy from fingering, were full of garter belts and paraffin breasts — the kind of thing that turned Lustig off rather than on. But he studied them with the proper amount of intensity, grunting here or sneering there to keep up appearances.
“Enough, enough,” Lustig had said, glancing at his exposed ears jutting conspicuously from the sides of his head. “There’s not much you can do with the ship rolling and pitching like this. I’ll straighten them myself.” (“What did you do — flunk sideburns?” Lustig thought to say when he reviewed the scene later.)
Cee-Dee had held a small mirror behind Lustig so that he could see the back of his head in the mirror in front of him. It was a touch that Cee-Dee had picked up from a $1.25 barber shop in Detroit and reserved for his officer customers.
“Looks great, just great,” Lustig had said, studying the back of the head that was supposed to be his in the mirror. He didn’t know what else to say.
“Whata cunt, huh?” Cee-Dee had said conversationally, nodding down at the girl peering up at Lustig from the magazine. “There’s a cow on the cover, but inside is real good stuff. Well, they say you can’t judge a book by the cover.”
(Later Lustig thought to respond: “Some people can’t even judge it by its contents.”)
Cee-Dee had begun unpinning the sheet that kept some of the hair off the customer. “Hey, Mister Lustig, why did the XO put that note in tomorrow’s plan of the day about no sightseers on the bridge?”
“Because the skipper was pissed by everyone and his uncle rushing up there when that plane went down today.”
“I guess that means I’ll never get to see the friggin’ bridge,” Cee-Dee had said.
“What do you mean never?” Lustig had asked. “Haven’t you ever been on the bridge?”
“Nope, I never been. I been on the Eugene Ebersole a year come August but I never thought to go till I read you can’t. Ain’t that something. Closing the barn door after the horse’s skedaddled.” The aphorism was wildly inappropriate but Lustig didn’t want to embarrass Cee-Dee, so he let it pass.
“Listen, Cee-Dee, I got the four-to-eight tomorrow morning. After reveille you grab a cup of coffee and come up and if anyone stops you, you say the coffee is for me, that I asked for it. And put three sugars in it, okay?”
“That’s friggin’ decent of you Mister Lustig, to go to all that trouble for me.”
“Is it,” Cee-Dee said moments after he arrived on the bridge, coffee in hand, “supposed to be like that?”
“Is what supposed to be like what?” Lustig asked. He andCee-Dee were on the signal bridge along with two signalmen, Angry Pettis Foreman and Jefferson Waterman.
“The American flag — is it supposed to be like that? A friggin’ disgrace, that’s what it is.”
Lustig followed Cee-Dee’s gaze. He could see the The Stars and Stripes shedding their wrinkles into the morning air. And he could see — “Oh my God Almighty” — that the flag was upside-down .
“What do you mean upside-down?” the XO yelled into the phone when Lustig woke him with the news.
“Upside-down! What do you mean upside-down?” Captain Jones fumed when the XO burst into his cabin.
“You know what an upside-down flag means,” the Captain told the XO after the two of them had trooped to the signal bridge to see the apparition for themselves. “Good Christ, imagine if the people on the aircraft carrier had spotted it, eh? We’d have been laughed out of the war
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