better. I want you lookin’ nowhere but me while I say this. I get why you’re gun shy around me. I was an ass last time I was here. I shouldn’t have spouted off the way I did. You caught me off guard, and I reacted badly. Call me a dick. Call me a shithead. Call me whatever you want, honey. Just get it out of your system and forgive me.”
“ Forgive you ?” she snapped. “Why should I forgive you when I haven’t heard an actual apology yet?”
Seeing this new, sassy side of her made me hard, but I couldn’t concentrate on that, so I apologized, instead.
“I’m sorry, Gin.”
She only looked at me skeptically.
“Seriously, honey, I mean it. I was a dick that night, and I’m sorry. My head was in a fucked up place after my first deployment, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Forgive me now?”
Although the uncertainty faded from her eyes, I watched as a bit of curiosity replaced it. She tilted her head to the side, and I had the distinct impression she was trying to figure me out, maybe see into my head.
Who knew what she was thinking? I had given up on trying to figure out women a long time ago. All I could do was stand there and wait to see if the girl I had known for what felt like forever would give me a second chance to be in her life in some capacity.
I wasn’t ready to let her go entirely. Honestly, I might not ever be able to let her completely go.
She studied my face for what felt like forever before she said slowly, “Forgiven.”
A smile stretched across my face as I pulled her to me, used my arm around her shoulders to guide her, and led us back toward the kitchen.
“So, tell me what you’ve been up to, Gin.”
“I have a boyfriend, and I’m in college. Which one do you want to hear about?”
Jesus. I would rather talk about her period than that boyfriend of hers with octopus hands.
“Let’s talk college, honey.”
In my line of work, I never knew if the next mission was the one I wouldn’t come home from, so I was going to take this moment with the girl I loved but couldn’t have and make it last as long as I possibly could.
Ginny
Twenty Years Old
As Lucas and I sat at his mother’s kitchen table, catching up, I thought over what had been said a little over an hour before and almost laughed. Funny how, when Lucas asked me for forgiveness, it sounded more like a command than an actual question.
You would think someone seeking such a thing would make sure they were not demanding it, but not Lucas Young. The proverbial question mark on the end of his sentence was for my benefit alone and probably not a courtesy I would get from him often in the future. If he wanted something, he would obtain it by any means necessary.
For instance, when he had told me and Olivia at his last high school football game that he would score four touchdowns, he’d made it happen. Or, like how he had planned for years to go in the Army to be in Special Forces and was drafted right out of basic. Lucas Young was relentless when he wanted something. Therefore, I should probably consider myself lucky he hadn’t dictated my forgiveness.
But instead of feeling lucky, all I felt was sad that he still didn’t want me. You could think you were over someone, and then, with just a glimpse of their face after not seeing them for a year and a half, you realized you would probably never be over them. That truth sucked in a big way. It also made me want to run back home and cry my eyes out. I wasn’t going to let myself do it, though. No, I was going to sit here and visit with him as if I didn’t give a flying Fig Newton about what he thought. Even if it was the furthest thing from the truth.
So, I sat there, chatting with the boy I used to think was my knight in shining armor, rescuing me from locked closets, and studied him.
He looked older, and not just because he was. There were lines around his eyes and mouth that told me he’d laughed … and cried. His skin was overly tan from his
“ Forgive you ?” she snapped. “Why should I forgive you when I haven’t heard an actual apology yet?”
Seeing this new, sassy side of her made me hard, but I couldn’t concentrate on that, so I apologized, instead.
“I’m sorry, Gin.”
She only looked at me skeptically.
“Seriously, honey, I mean it. I was a dick that night, and I’m sorry. My head was in a fucked up place after my first deployment, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Forgive me now?”
Although the uncertainty faded from her eyes, I watched as a bit of curiosity replaced it. She tilted her head to the side, and I had the distinct impression she was trying to figure me out, maybe see into my head.
Who knew what she was thinking? I had given up on trying to figure out women a long time ago. All I could do was stand there and wait to see if the girl I had known for what felt like forever would give me a second chance to be in her life in some capacity.
I wasn’t ready to let her go entirely. Honestly, I might not ever be able to let her completely go.
She studied my face for what felt like forever before she said slowly, “Forgiven.”
A smile stretched across my face as I pulled her to me, used my arm around her shoulders to guide her, and led us back toward the kitchen.
“So, tell me what you’ve been up to, Gin.”
“I have a boyfriend, and I’m in college. Which one do you want to hear about?”
Jesus. I would rather talk about her period than that boyfriend of hers with octopus hands.
“Let’s talk college, honey.”
In my line of work, I never knew if the next mission was the one I wouldn’t come home from, so I was going to take this moment with the girl I loved but couldn’t have and make it last as long as I possibly could.
Ginny
Twenty Years Old
As Lucas and I sat at his mother’s kitchen table, catching up, I thought over what had been said a little over an hour before and almost laughed. Funny how, when Lucas asked me for forgiveness, it sounded more like a command than an actual question.
You would think someone seeking such a thing would make sure they were not demanding it, but not Lucas Young. The proverbial question mark on the end of his sentence was for my benefit alone and probably not a courtesy I would get from him often in the future. If he wanted something, he would obtain it by any means necessary.
For instance, when he had told me and Olivia at his last high school football game that he would score four touchdowns, he’d made it happen. Or, like how he had planned for years to go in the Army to be in Special Forces and was drafted right out of basic. Lucas Young was relentless when he wanted something. Therefore, I should probably consider myself lucky he hadn’t dictated my forgiveness.
But instead of feeling lucky, all I felt was sad that he still didn’t want me. You could think you were over someone, and then, with just a glimpse of their face after not seeing them for a year and a half, you realized you would probably never be over them. That truth sucked in a big way. It also made me want to run back home and cry my eyes out. I wasn’t going to let myself do it, though. No, I was going to sit here and visit with him as if I didn’t give a flying Fig Newton about what he thought. Even if it was the furthest thing from the truth.
So, I sat there, chatting with the boy I used to think was my knight in shining armor, rescuing me from locked closets, and studied him.
He looked older, and not just because he was. There were lines around his eyes and mouth that told me he’d laughed … and cried. His skin was overly tan from his
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