that okay?”
“Of course!”
Sandy, Lisa and Yvette had been Susannah’s best friends through high school. “I didn’t know you’d been friends with them, too.”
“We’re acquaintances more than friends,” Carolyn explained, “but I want to connect with the community and this seemed a painless way to get reacquainted.”
“It sounds great. Thanks for setting everything up.”
“Girls’ night out,” Carolyn said.
Susannah could use a night to relax with old friends. Although she’d lost touch with these women, she felt excited about seeing them again. Carolyn might need to reconnect with the community, but Susannah needed to connect with her past. That had become clear to her. Sandy, Yvette, Lisa and Carolyn were part of her personal history.
She and Carolyn chatted a few minutes longer and afterward she felt much better. She sat in front of the television again, flicking through channels, but she still couldn’t concentrate. Then she went to bed, but it was a long time before she slept.
Her dreams were filled with memories of her childhood, of her mother baking cookies and serving as her Camp Fire Leader. She dreamed of summer walks with her father, going for ice-cream cones—always strawberry for her, vanilla for him. As a judge, he was a community leader and to her, he’d seemed the most wonderful man in the world. Her opinion had changed when she entered high school and she’d discovered how dictatorial and unreasonable he was. She dreamed of the yearly Easter egg hunts she’d participated in as a kid and swimming in the local pool with her friends.
The next morning, the sun shining in her bedroom window woke Susannah. It was a pleasant way to wake up, especially when the clear, bright sunshine was accompanied by the sound of birdsong. She showered and dressed, and made a pot of coffee, drinking her first cup outside. Before leaving to visit her mother, she watered the plants, lingering among the roses for a few minutes and marvelinganew at her mother’s energy. Vivian might have let other things go, but she’d maintained her garden. Then she loaded the car with a few odds and ends for her mother’s new home and headed out.
When she reached Elm Street, Susannah surprised herself by taking a left instead of a right and drove up the road that led to the cemetery. She hadn’t been to her father’s grave since the funeral. Why she felt the urge to go now, she couldn’t say. Perhaps it had to do with her dreams, with her need to revisit the past.
She parked near the entrance—the only car there—and walked between the grave markers to where she’d stood almost seven months earlier. As she moved across the lawn to her father’s grave, she remembered his casket being lowered into the ground. The headstone was in place now, her mother’s name on the marble slab beside his, along with Vivian’s date of birth, followed by a blank space to note her mother’s death.
Susannah stood, feeling stiff and uncomfortable, on the freshly watered lawn. “Hi, Dad,” she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. “How’s it going?” She snickered at this weak attempt at conversation. From her early teenage years, she’d never really had much to say to him. It wasn’t any easier now that he was six feet under.
“Mom says you’re the one who told her to go into assisted living.” Yesterday, her mother had made a point of letting Susannah know the reason for her sudden change of heart.
Susannah slid her shoe over the grass, which was slick and moist beneath her feet. “I suppose I should thank you for that.”
Biting her lower lip, she walked two grave markers away but didn’t read the names on them. She wanted toleave, to walk back to her car and drive off, but for some reason she couldn’t make herself do it.
“You know, Dad, you weren’t the easiest man to live with. Mom went along with whatever you wanted, but not me. I know we would’ve had a better relationship if I’d given in to you,
“Of course!”
Sandy, Lisa and Yvette had been Susannah’s best friends through high school. “I didn’t know you’d been friends with them, too.”
“We’re acquaintances more than friends,” Carolyn explained, “but I want to connect with the community and this seemed a painless way to get reacquainted.”
“It sounds great. Thanks for setting everything up.”
“Girls’ night out,” Carolyn said.
Susannah could use a night to relax with old friends. Although she’d lost touch with these women, she felt excited about seeing them again. Carolyn might need to reconnect with the community, but Susannah needed to connect with her past. That had become clear to her. Sandy, Yvette, Lisa and Carolyn were part of her personal history.
She and Carolyn chatted a few minutes longer and afterward she felt much better. She sat in front of the television again, flicking through channels, but she still couldn’t concentrate. Then she went to bed, but it was a long time before she slept.
Her dreams were filled with memories of her childhood, of her mother baking cookies and serving as her Camp Fire Leader. She dreamed of summer walks with her father, going for ice-cream cones—always strawberry for her, vanilla for him. As a judge, he was a community leader and to her, he’d seemed the most wonderful man in the world. Her opinion had changed when she entered high school and she’d discovered how dictatorial and unreasonable he was. She dreamed of the yearly Easter egg hunts she’d participated in as a kid and swimming in the local pool with her friends.
The next morning, the sun shining in her bedroom window woke Susannah. It was a pleasant way to wake up, especially when the clear, bright sunshine was accompanied by the sound of birdsong. She showered and dressed, and made a pot of coffee, drinking her first cup outside. Before leaving to visit her mother, she watered the plants, lingering among the roses for a few minutes and marvelinganew at her mother’s energy. Vivian might have let other things go, but she’d maintained her garden. Then she loaded the car with a few odds and ends for her mother’s new home and headed out.
When she reached Elm Street, Susannah surprised herself by taking a left instead of a right and drove up the road that led to the cemetery. She hadn’t been to her father’s grave since the funeral. Why she felt the urge to go now, she couldn’t say. Perhaps it had to do with her dreams, with her need to revisit the past.
She parked near the entrance—the only car there—and walked between the grave markers to where she’d stood almost seven months earlier. As she moved across the lawn to her father’s grave, she remembered his casket being lowered into the ground. The headstone was in place now, her mother’s name on the marble slab beside his, along with Vivian’s date of birth, followed by a blank space to note her mother’s death.
Susannah stood, feeling stiff and uncomfortable, on the freshly watered lawn. “Hi, Dad,” she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. “How’s it going?” She snickered at this weak attempt at conversation. From her early teenage years, she’d never really had much to say to him. It wasn’t any easier now that he was six feet under.
“Mom says you’re the one who told her to go into assisted living.” Yesterday, her mother had made a point of letting Susannah know the reason for her sudden change of heart.
Susannah slid her shoe over the grass, which was slick and moist beneath her feet. “I suppose I should thank you for that.”
Biting her lower lip, she walked two grave markers away but didn’t read the names on them. She wanted toleave, to walk back to her car and drive off, but for some reason she couldn’t make herself do it.
“You know, Dad, you weren’t the easiest man to live with. Mom went along with whatever you wanted, but not me. I know we would’ve had a better relationship if I’d given in to you,
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