“As for being reserved... Yes, judiciousness was an essential for part of my training and well...Miriam...she always stole the show.” He pushed the egg around the pan with his spatula, retreating into his own thoughts again.
“You can talk about her. What little I knew of her, she was an amazing woman.”
He lifted his head slowly and stared at me. “I’m happy you got to meet her. I know our encounter must have been awkward, given she asked you to sleep with me.” He shook his head and chuckled, “But that was Miriam.”
“I’m happy I got to meet her too. So her vibrant personality made you so quiet?”
“It contributed. She was a lot like Xavier; saw the world in ways others don’t, and much like him, she thought out loud for everyone to hear. The real culprit is probably the years I spent training for French Intelligence—a profession that requires constant discretion.”
“How did you go from the secret service to medicine?” He lifted the egg with the spatula, placed my breakfast on a plate, along with a fork, and handed it to me. “Thank you.”
“I had just accepted my residency when I was recruited. I met a profile they were looking for. I went through special training with the military, but ended up assigned undercover to an organ harvesting case at a prominent hospital in Paris. The assignment allowed me to continue my medical duties while gathering the information.”
“So you were a spy?” How sexy was that?
He laughed. “More like an investigator. I got pretty good at getting to the truth, but I retired when Miriam fell ill.”
“Will you come out of retirement now?”
He sighed. “Well...not officially, but Xavier, I think has plans for me.”
“He always has plans.” I willed myself not to roll my eyes.
“But only for those people he cares about. With him, you’re either the target, the protected, or the inconsequential.” He scooped the other egg up and placed his portion on a plate before taking the seat next to me.
“Xavier wants you with me because I’m military trained.” He cut into the egg and paused. “I have a question for you.”
I finished chewing and then responded, “Yes.”
“How do you feel about Xavier’s plan to make you his subject?”
“I honestly don’t know. He’s convinced using their rules is a sure way to protect me.”
He looked at me. “I have my reservations.” He brushed a strand of hair from my shoulder. “Maybe I’m being overprotective. Maybe I selfishly want you here with me at the cabin, all to myself, but I can’t see anything good coming from you getting closer to that organization.”
“I can’t say that I’m not nervous, but the sooner we can end them, the better.”
“Yes. What about the other requirements?”
“What do you mean?”
“Elaine...” He sighed. “Xavier said you have to be submissive to him. Can you honestly do that? More importantly, do you want to? Xavier gets caught up in the chaos and sometimes forgets to think of the more subtle aspects of his actions. I want to make sure the moment you’re on your knees, it’s because you want to be, and not because you feel you have to. Do you trust him enough to give in? Your submission needs to happen because you want him to take control, not as an act but for real.”
“He already has control of me—I’m here aren’t I?”
“That’s different, and yet, elements of the idea are the same... At some point when he suggested you leave with him, you decided to go, correct? Would the outcome have been the same had he kidnapped you? Even though you love him, there would be anger and resentment.”
“No, you’re right, that situation wouldn’t have been the same.”
“Then your surrender has to be the same with this. When he takes command, you need to find a place within you to trust him. You trusted his protection when you came here. Trust him to protect you from whatever he might do to your body. Otherwise, nothing healthy will ever come
“You can talk about her. What little I knew of her, she was an amazing woman.”
He lifted his head slowly and stared at me. “I’m happy you got to meet her. I know our encounter must have been awkward, given she asked you to sleep with me.” He shook his head and chuckled, “But that was Miriam.”
“I’m happy I got to meet her too. So her vibrant personality made you so quiet?”
“It contributed. She was a lot like Xavier; saw the world in ways others don’t, and much like him, she thought out loud for everyone to hear. The real culprit is probably the years I spent training for French Intelligence—a profession that requires constant discretion.”
“How did you go from the secret service to medicine?” He lifted the egg with the spatula, placed my breakfast on a plate, along with a fork, and handed it to me. “Thank you.”
“I had just accepted my residency when I was recruited. I met a profile they were looking for. I went through special training with the military, but ended up assigned undercover to an organ harvesting case at a prominent hospital in Paris. The assignment allowed me to continue my medical duties while gathering the information.”
“So you were a spy?” How sexy was that?
He laughed. “More like an investigator. I got pretty good at getting to the truth, but I retired when Miriam fell ill.”
“Will you come out of retirement now?”
He sighed. “Well...not officially, but Xavier, I think has plans for me.”
“He always has plans.” I willed myself not to roll my eyes.
“But only for those people he cares about. With him, you’re either the target, the protected, or the inconsequential.” He scooped the other egg up and placed his portion on a plate before taking the seat next to me.
“Xavier wants you with me because I’m military trained.” He cut into the egg and paused. “I have a question for you.”
I finished chewing and then responded, “Yes.”
“How do you feel about Xavier’s plan to make you his subject?”
“I honestly don’t know. He’s convinced using their rules is a sure way to protect me.”
He looked at me. “I have my reservations.” He brushed a strand of hair from my shoulder. “Maybe I’m being overprotective. Maybe I selfishly want you here with me at the cabin, all to myself, but I can’t see anything good coming from you getting closer to that organization.”
“I can’t say that I’m not nervous, but the sooner we can end them, the better.”
“Yes. What about the other requirements?”
“What do you mean?”
“Elaine...” He sighed. “Xavier said you have to be submissive to him. Can you honestly do that? More importantly, do you want to? Xavier gets caught up in the chaos and sometimes forgets to think of the more subtle aspects of his actions. I want to make sure the moment you’re on your knees, it’s because you want to be, and not because you feel you have to. Do you trust him enough to give in? Your submission needs to happen because you want him to take control, not as an act but for real.”
“He already has control of me—I’m here aren’t I?”
“That’s different, and yet, elements of the idea are the same... At some point when he suggested you leave with him, you decided to go, correct? Would the outcome have been the same had he kidnapped you? Even though you love him, there would be anger and resentment.”
“No, you’re right, that situation wouldn’t have been the same.”
“Then your surrender has to be the same with this. When he takes command, you need to find a place within you to trust him. You trusted his protection when you came here. Trust him to protect you from whatever he might do to your body. Otherwise, nothing healthy will ever come
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