answered the phone when I called. I’m surprised by a lot of things about her, the biggest one being how much I like her. How psyched I am that she’s here with me.
When I was seven I saw Aladdin for the first time. It was by far the greatest movie I had ever seen, maybe still one of the top ten I’ve seen to date. Even now if I catch it playing on the Disney Channel you better believe I’m stopping to check it out. I got addicted to it when I was a kid. I played it over and over again until my mom nearly went insane. Then I played it some more. I couldn’t control how much I watched it. I just wanted it on all the time. I liked it that much.
Being with Lilly feels like that. Like loving Aladdin . I just discovered her, just saw her the other day, but tonight I had to call her. I had to see her again. And in the morning I’ll probably feel the same way.
I don’t have an addictive personality. I don’t flip my shit over everything I see, but there are things that stick with me. That make me feel high. Things that make me feel so damn good inside that I can’t get enough of them.
Football is one of them.
Aladdin is another.
And tonight, there’s Lilly.
From the glow at the end of the tunnel I can tell Ray has turned some of the field lights on. Not everything, not like it’s game night, but enough to get by with. When we come out of the entrance and set foot on the field I look down at Lilly to catch her reaction.
Her eyes are big and round, light with wonder at the scope of it all. The height of the goal post, the unending rise of the seats around us, the sprawling length of the field at our feet. It looks big on TV, but get down on the field and it feels huge. Gargantuan. Put thousands of fans in the seats and set ‘em to screaming and it feels like the end of the world. The first time I walked onto this field as a pro player I literally peed myself a little, I was that kind of excited.
“What do you think?” I ask her.
She grins at me, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. “I think your office is pretty cool. Great view.”
“High ceilings.”
She laughs, leaning her head back to look up at the sky. Through the lights burning down on us you can’t see much. Black sky, expansive and humbling.
Kat dances at my feet. She’s seen the field and she’s eager to run it, but she’s like me. She wants a ball to chase. I pull a yellow tennis ball out of the pocket of my pants. Kat absolutely loses her mind when she sees it.
“Too bad you don’t have one of those chucking things,” Lilly comments, pantomiming ‘chucking’ I guess. “The ones that help you throw the ball really far.”
I pause, my arm cocked back, my eyebrows cocked high. “Seriously?”
She laughs at herself. “Right. Football player. I forgot.”
“How?”
“I really don’t know. My brain is kind of fried right now. This is really kind of surreal.”
I toss the ball with a grunt. It flies far downfield, no chucker needed. Kat digs in deep to go after it at a dead sprint.
“Do you watch a lot of football?” I ask Lilly.
She shakes her head ardently. “No. Only with my dad on Sundays. He’s a huge fan.”
“Kodiaks fan or football fan?”
“Both. Die hard Kodiaks fan, though. He even stuck with you guys when you had that one-win season, what? Ten years ago?”
“Seven. That was before my time.” I cast her a cocky grin. The one she loves to hate. “I would never have let that happen.”
She snorts. “What in the world did they do before you?”
“Lost, mostly. Are you and your dad close?”
“Yeah, we’re—“ she hesitates, her eyes narrowing like she’s trying to see something clearer. Something distant and downfield. When she speaks her voice is lower, her tone heavier. “You know what? No. We’re not. We used to be. But then… I guess things change. We stopped connecting. We don’t recognize each other anymore.”
My shoulders droop under the weight of her honesty. I’m taken aback by it.
When I was seven I saw Aladdin for the first time. It was by far the greatest movie I had ever seen, maybe still one of the top ten I’ve seen to date. Even now if I catch it playing on the Disney Channel you better believe I’m stopping to check it out. I got addicted to it when I was a kid. I played it over and over again until my mom nearly went insane. Then I played it some more. I couldn’t control how much I watched it. I just wanted it on all the time. I liked it that much.
Being with Lilly feels like that. Like loving Aladdin . I just discovered her, just saw her the other day, but tonight I had to call her. I had to see her again. And in the morning I’ll probably feel the same way.
I don’t have an addictive personality. I don’t flip my shit over everything I see, but there are things that stick with me. That make me feel high. Things that make me feel so damn good inside that I can’t get enough of them.
Football is one of them.
Aladdin is another.
And tonight, there’s Lilly.
From the glow at the end of the tunnel I can tell Ray has turned some of the field lights on. Not everything, not like it’s game night, but enough to get by with. When we come out of the entrance and set foot on the field I look down at Lilly to catch her reaction.
Her eyes are big and round, light with wonder at the scope of it all. The height of the goal post, the unending rise of the seats around us, the sprawling length of the field at our feet. It looks big on TV, but get down on the field and it feels huge. Gargantuan. Put thousands of fans in the seats and set ‘em to screaming and it feels like the end of the world. The first time I walked onto this field as a pro player I literally peed myself a little, I was that kind of excited.
“What do you think?” I ask her.
She grins at me, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. “I think your office is pretty cool. Great view.”
“High ceilings.”
She laughs, leaning her head back to look up at the sky. Through the lights burning down on us you can’t see much. Black sky, expansive and humbling.
Kat dances at my feet. She’s seen the field and she’s eager to run it, but she’s like me. She wants a ball to chase. I pull a yellow tennis ball out of the pocket of my pants. Kat absolutely loses her mind when she sees it.
“Too bad you don’t have one of those chucking things,” Lilly comments, pantomiming ‘chucking’ I guess. “The ones that help you throw the ball really far.”
I pause, my arm cocked back, my eyebrows cocked high. “Seriously?”
She laughs at herself. “Right. Football player. I forgot.”
“How?”
“I really don’t know. My brain is kind of fried right now. This is really kind of surreal.”
I toss the ball with a grunt. It flies far downfield, no chucker needed. Kat digs in deep to go after it at a dead sprint.
“Do you watch a lot of football?” I ask Lilly.
She shakes her head ardently. “No. Only with my dad on Sundays. He’s a huge fan.”
“Kodiaks fan or football fan?”
“Both. Die hard Kodiaks fan, though. He even stuck with you guys when you had that one-win season, what? Ten years ago?”
“Seven. That was before my time.” I cast her a cocky grin. The one she loves to hate. “I would never have let that happen.”
She snorts. “What in the world did they do before you?”
“Lost, mostly. Are you and your dad close?”
“Yeah, we’re—“ she hesitates, her eyes narrowing like she’s trying to see something clearer. Something distant and downfield. When she speaks her voice is lower, her tone heavier. “You know what? No. We’re not. We used to be. But then… I guess things change. We stopped connecting. We don’t recognize each other anymore.”
My shoulders droop under the weight of her honesty. I’m taken aback by it.
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