simply cupcake baker, daughter, island denizen, shopkeeper. And you have no idea how lovely, how heavenly, that has been.”
Charlotte said nothing.
So Lani continued. “Then I read that stupid article yesterday morning, and my safe little haven wasn’t safe anymore. Certainly everything that has happened since then has only made it worse. Far, far, worse, than even I could have imagined.”
“I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn about this,” Charlotte finally said.
Lani might have choked a little. “Stubborn?”
“About believing he really can feel what he feels for you. I mean, yes, it’s inconvenient in some ways, but it’s also kind of ... exciting.”
“Like watching a train wreck is exciting, maybe. Are you not hearing me?”
“I’m hearing you say you don’t believe he knows you. Maybe not all of you, but enough to know that he wants to learn more. You might have only been a chef with him, but, Lan, a chef isn’t just what you are, it’s a big part of who you are. Possibly the biggest part. So, I think you need to have a little more faith. In Baxter—who, as far as I know, is not a manipulator or a liar—and in yourself. You two were perfect together.”
Baxter’s words about her all but calling him a liar echoed through her mind. “In the kitchen, as chefs, yes, we were in sync. But did you know I honestly thought he’d have respected me more as a chef if I were a man?”
“ What? Since when?”
“I mean, I do know he respected me, obviously, but you and I have bitched many, many times about the gender bias we face in this industry, even as pastry chefs. Not that he ever said such a thing, but there was always this kind of vibe—under the surface—that he respected me despite my gender.”
“You two were like a well-oiled machine from Day One. You were Yin to his Yang. And, if you ask me, vice versa. You made each other better. It wasn’t just you who benefited from the Master-Grasshopper relationship. Why do you think your co-workers were so insanely jealous?”
“It was there, Charlotte. And how is it you can make an arcane character reference from Kung Fu , but have no idea who Betty White is?”
“I haven’t the vaguest clue. Except I used to have a thing for David Carradine. He was hot, in this inscrutable, mysterious, sensitive but entirely alpha kind of way. I used to watch reruns of the show in New Delhi and want him for my very own. But, even if we go with your gender bias theory”—her tone made it clear what kind of stock she was putting in Lani’s supposition—“did you ever stop to think maybe the thread of ... whatever it was, the hint of disquiet you detected, was because of the very reason he stated?”
The sudden loud buzz of Charlotte’s Kitchen Aid mixer blasted through the phone, making Lani flinch. It also, conveniently, kept her from being able to respond.
When it abruptly shut off again, Charlotte continued without giving her a chance to speak. “Your being a woman did disquiet him ... but, if you ask me, it had nothing to do with gender bias.”
Charlotte’s mixer went back on, and stayed on, forcing Lani to think about what her closest friend had just said. Grumbling, Lani bumped the sound down on the phone and picked up the copper bowl and whisked in the sugar, one scoop at a time, until it thickened. She set it down and went to get the bowl of coffee and corn flour she’d whisked together earlier. The scent of the ground coffee made her crave a cup. She glanced at the clock. Ten-thirty. Definitely past a good little baker’s bedtime. And it was going to be another very early morning.
Even after baking that afternoon while Dre covered the counter, she’d been left with very few cupcakes to refrigerate overnight, as she routinely did, selling them as day olds the next day, for a reduced price. She still had fresh frozen extra batches of unfrosted cupcakes, her base vanilla bean cake and semi-sweet chocolate, which she’d thaw,
Charlotte said nothing.
So Lani continued. “Then I read that stupid article yesterday morning, and my safe little haven wasn’t safe anymore. Certainly everything that has happened since then has only made it worse. Far, far, worse, than even I could have imagined.”
“I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn about this,” Charlotte finally said.
Lani might have choked a little. “Stubborn?”
“About believing he really can feel what he feels for you. I mean, yes, it’s inconvenient in some ways, but it’s also kind of ... exciting.”
“Like watching a train wreck is exciting, maybe. Are you not hearing me?”
“I’m hearing you say you don’t believe he knows you. Maybe not all of you, but enough to know that he wants to learn more. You might have only been a chef with him, but, Lan, a chef isn’t just what you are, it’s a big part of who you are. Possibly the biggest part. So, I think you need to have a little more faith. In Baxter—who, as far as I know, is not a manipulator or a liar—and in yourself. You two were perfect together.”
Baxter’s words about her all but calling him a liar echoed through her mind. “In the kitchen, as chefs, yes, we were in sync. But did you know I honestly thought he’d have respected me more as a chef if I were a man?”
“ What? Since when?”
“I mean, I do know he respected me, obviously, but you and I have bitched many, many times about the gender bias we face in this industry, even as pastry chefs. Not that he ever said such a thing, but there was always this kind of vibe—under the surface—that he respected me despite my gender.”
“You two were like a well-oiled machine from Day One. You were Yin to his Yang. And, if you ask me, vice versa. You made each other better. It wasn’t just you who benefited from the Master-Grasshopper relationship. Why do you think your co-workers were so insanely jealous?”
“It was there, Charlotte. And how is it you can make an arcane character reference from Kung Fu , but have no idea who Betty White is?”
“I haven’t the vaguest clue. Except I used to have a thing for David Carradine. He was hot, in this inscrutable, mysterious, sensitive but entirely alpha kind of way. I used to watch reruns of the show in New Delhi and want him for my very own. But, even if we go with your gender bias theory”—her tone made it clear what kind of stock she was putting in Lani’s supposition—“did you ever stop to think maybe the thread of ... whatever it was, the hint of disquiet you detected, was because of the very reason he stated?”
The sudden loud buzz of Charlotte’s Kitchen Aid mixer blasted through the phone, making Lani flinch. It also, conveniently, kept her from being able to respond.
When it abruptly shut off again, Charlotte continued without giving her a chance to speak. “Your being a woman did disquiet him ... but, if you ask me, it had nothing to do with gender bias.”
Charlotte’s mixer went back on, and stayed on, forcing Lani to think about what her closest friend had just said. Grumbling, Lani bumped the sound down on the phone and picked up the copper bowl and whisked in the sugar, one scoop at a time, until it thickened. She set it down and went to get the bowl of coffee and corn flour she’d whisked together earlier. The scent of the ground coffee made her crave a cup. She glanced at the clock. Ten-thirty. Definitely past a good little baker’s bedtime. And it was going to be another very early morning.
Even after baking that afternoon while Dre covered the counter, she’d been left with very few cupcakes to refrigerate overnight, as she routinely did, selling them as day olds the next day, for a reduced price. She still had fresh frozen extra batches of unfrosted cupcakes, her base vanilla bean cake and semi-sweet chocolate, which she’d thaw,
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