him of his place.
Being a Beta, second to an Alpha, should have stood for something in wolf
society, but he seldom exercised his power. Derrick couldn’t help it. He was
ashamed of his body, and ashamed of both his human and animal halves.
The only reason Jared stayed for as long as he did was because Derrick
carried the Starr name, and even if Derrick was exiled from the Starr Mountain
Pack, names still carried weight. Maybe the Gamma hoped that Derrick’s family
would take him back eventually, but the chances of that were slim, slimmer even
than being cured of his diabetes.
If Jared had truly cared for him, he’d know that bringing up something
sensitive like his family was a heartache that never truly went away. No matter
how many times Derrick claimed that being a lone wolf not tied to any pack
suited him just fine, being alone all the time with no one to turn to wasn’t
exactly what anyone wanted.
“Hey, man, are you ordering? You’re holding up the queue,” an irate
voice said behind the counter.
“One black coffee,” Derrick mumbled, still staring at the caramel
frosted cupcake and imagining how he’d like to scoop out the frosting and lick
it off someone.
What would really be ideal was to lick all that frosting off Jared’s
smooth and bronze chest. He could have the Gamma lying on his belly and baring
his neck in submission while he’d smear the frosting all over his smooth chest.
Then he’d lower his head and lick lazy and idle circles. He’d torment and tease
the Gamma until he was begging and whimpering for Derrick to take him.
Sure, if I don’t mind my blood sugar level
going bonkers from licking all that sugar. It’s on a dangerous level as it is.
Derrick shouldn’t have been too surprised that the Gamma had simply left
him without a note along with all the bills and credit cards in his wallet.
Stop it. You’re just punishing yourself.
The signs were all there. If Jared’s endless excuses and the smell of
other men’s cologne, sweat, and sex on the Gamma’s clothes weren’t enough, the
ever-increasing nights Derrick spent alone in bed while vehemently decimating
bar after bar of sugar-free chocolate should have been a clue.
I was just afraid that he’d leave me. Now that it was done, Derrick felt all emptied
out, like someone had slit his belly and yanked out all his insides. But he
also felt a little sliver of relief. He couldn’t see Jared and him working out
anyway. The boy was too free-spirited and flirty for his own good. Derrick,
meanwhile, was a reserved and private individual.
His idea of a good date was a romantic and quiet night out. Maybe
watching a good movie while munching on a few bags of Raisinets and going for a run in the woods surrounding New Haven afterward, in the area
where the local pack wouldn’t bother him and his imaginary mate. Being able to
no longer eat Raisinets wasn’t that big of an issue.
Derrick could replace them with sugar-free chocolate bars. A mate, on the other
hand, wasn’t as easy to replace.
Jared breaking up with him was a good sign, not a bad one. Derrick could
start over, be healthier, and maybe find another mate out there, a mate who’d
accept all of his big, hairy, and sugar-free shy self.
Yeah, right. Derrick snorted.
Giving one last lingering look at the cupcake, he grabbed his piteous
cup of black coffee and asked the guy behind the counter if he had any extra
sweeteners.
“Yeah, hold on.”
Now that Derrick was no longer distracted by the cupcake, he studied the
barista. He’d automatically assumed that the server was a scruffy-looking
college kid, but the man who stood behind the counter was older, maybe in his
mid-twenties.
While he still had a scruffy look about him because of all that shaggy
brown hair, he was tall, good-looking, and probably straight. The most
interesting feature about him was his slightly slanted eyes, telling Derrick
that he maybe had a mix of Chinese in his bloodline somewhere. Derrick
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