she’d invited me!
The next week was half term. I didn’t think, probably, that Shay would want to bother seeing me at half term, so when Millie called round and asked if I’d like to sleep over her place one night, I was quite pleased.
It was ages since Millie and I had done anything together. I could tell that Mum was pleased, too. She likes Millie and I don’t think, really, that she did like Shay. She always said that she was “too knowing”. I’ve never actually understood this, as I wouldn’t have thought it would be possible to be too knowing. I’d havethought the more you knew, the better. But Mum obviously felt it was a bad thing, maybe because she thought Shay knew things she ought not to know, like grown-up type things, whereas Millie (Mum said) was “natural and unspoilt”. I dunno! Just because Millie lived round the corner and wore the sort of clothes that Mum considered “suitable”. She didn’t consider Shay’s clothes suitable. It really irritated her, Shay going round in designer labels. She kept on and on about it.
“Totally ridiculous! A girl that age.”
So when I asked if it was OK for me to spend the night with Millie she said yes without any hesitation, even though she’d been hinting that it would be nice, now it was half term, if I could stay in and keep an eye on the kids for a change, while she went out. Dad would still have been there, cos Dad hasn’t left the flat for I don’t know how long, but Mum would never leave him on his own all evening with Sammy and the Terrible Two. I knew she’d been looking forward to having some time off and I thought perhaps I was being selfish, wanting to go to Millie’s. But Mum seemed really keen.
“Maybe you’ll get back together again. I’d far rather you had Millie as a friend than that Shay.”
It was fun, being round at Millie’s. For a little while it was almost like we were back at Juniors again, giggling together and sharing secrets. But Mariam had been with us then; it didn’t seem the same without her.It had always been the three of us. Millie said she’d called round Mariam’s place and hadn’t been able to get any reply.
“Someone said they’d moved.”
I said, “ All of them?”
“It’s what they said.”
“I thought it was just Mariam! So she could go to another school.”
“I’m just telling you what I was told,” said Millie.
I twizzled my toes under the duvet. (We were lying in bed at the time.) “Wish I could go to another school! Don’t you? Wouldn’t you like to go somewhere else? If you could choose.”
“Dunno.” Millie shrugged. “Krapfilled’s OK.”
“I think it’s horrible,” I said.
“That’s cos you don’t join in.”
“Nobody ever asks me!” I said.
“So whose fault’s that?” Millie rolled over to look at me. She propped herself on an elbow. “You go round making like you’re so supeeeeeerior —”
I was indignant. “I do not!”
“You do. You just don’t realise you’re doing it.”
I couldn’t think what to say to that. I muttered that I didn’t feel superior.
“It’s the way you come across,” said Millie. “Specially now you’re hanging out with that Shayanne Sugar. She’s really freaky!”
“She’s my friend,” I said.
“Yeah? Sooner you than me!”
Growing desperate, I said, “I only started going round with Shay cos there wasn’t anyone else. Cos you and Mariam were both in gangs. I’d heaps rather you and me could still be friends!”
“We can be,” said Millie. “Out of school.”
“Why not in school?”
“You know why not in school!”
“Because of gangs, ” I said. “I hate gangs! I just hate them!”
“Well, there you go,” said Millie.
I knew, then, that me and Millie could never get back together again. We could never be proper best friends.
“Gangs make people stupid,” I said. “They make people do things they don’t want to do. They make them all follow my leader. I couldn’t ever belong to a
The next week was half term. I didn’t think, probably, that Shay would want to bother seeing me at half term, so when Millie called round and asked if I’d like to sleep over her place one night, I was quite pleased.
It was ages since Millie and I had done anything together. I could tell that Mum was pleased, too. She likes Millie and I don’t think, really, that she did like Shay. She always said that she was “too knowing”. I’ve never actually understood this, as I wouldn’t have thought it would be possible to be too knowing. I’d havethought the more you knew, the better. But Mum obviously felt it was a bad thing, maybe because she thought Shay knew things she ought not to know, like grown-up type things, whereas Millie (Mum said) was “natural and unspoilt”. I dunno! Just because Millie lived round the corner and wore the sort of clothes that Mum considered “suitable”. She didn’t consider Shay’s clothes suitable. It really irritated her, Shay going round in designer labels. She kept on and on about it.
“Totally ridiculous! A girl that age.”
So when I asked if it was OK for me to spend the night with Millie she said yes without any hesitation, even though she’d been hinting that it would be nice, now it was half term, if I could stay in and keep an eye on the kids for a change, while she went out. Dad would still have been there, cos Dad hasn’t left the flat for I don’t know how long, but Mum would never leave him on his own all evening with Sammy and the Terrible Two. I knew she’d been looking forward to having some time off and I thought perhaps I was being selfish, wanting to go to Millie’s. But Mum seemed really keen.
“Maybe you’ll get back together again. I’d far rather you had Millie as a friend than that Shay.”
It was fun, being round at Millie’s. For a little while it was almost like we were back at Juniors again, giggling together and sharing secrets. But Mariam had been with us then; it didn’t seem the same without her.It had always been the three of us. Millie said she’d called round Mariam’s place and hadn’t been able to get any reply.
“Someone said they’d moved.”
I said, “ All of them?”
“It’s what they said.”
“I thought it was just Mariam! So she could go to another school.”
“I’m just telling you what I was told,” said Millie.
I twizzled my toes under the duvet. (We were lying in bed at the time.) “Wish I could go to another school! Don’t you? Wouldn’t you like to go somewhere else? If you could choose.”
“Dunno.” Millie shrugged. “Krapfilled’s OK.”
“I think it’s horrible,” I said.
“That’s cos you don’t join in.”
“Nobody ever asks me!” I said.
“So whose fault’s that?” Millie rolled over to look at me. She propped herself on an elbow. “You go round making like you’re so supeeeeeerior —”
I was indignant. “I do not!”
“You do. You just don’t realise you’re doing it.”
I couldn’t think what to say to that. I muttered that I didn’t feel superior.
“It’s the way you come across,” said Millie. “Specially now you’re hanging out with that Shayanne Sugar. She’s really freaky!”
“She’s my friend,” I said.
“Yeah? Sooner you than me!”
Growing desperate, I said, “I only started going round with Shay cos there wasn’t anyone else. Cos you and Mariam were both in gangs. I’d heaps rather you and me could still be friends!”
“We can be,” said Millie. “Out of school.”
“Why not in school?”
“You know why not in school!”
“Because of gangs, ” I said. “I hate gangs! I just hate them!”
“Well, there you go,” said Millie.
I knew, then, that me and Millie could never get back together again. We could never be proper best friends.
“Gangs make people stupid,” I said. “They make people do things they don’t want to do. They make them all follow my leader. I couldn’t ever belong to a
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