he just admitted kissing
is permitted behind closed doors.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks, digging his
hip into mine.
I want to say yes, because I am, but I also
want to know what the fuck is behind that beaded curtain.
I feel like this is my decisive moment before
we take the next step. I need to find out if I really can try with
Ryan, or if I’m fooling myself and need to cut my losses.
“What’s back there?” I ask him, thrusting my
chin the direction he just came from.
“You really want to know?”
I consider for a beat and then nod my head
yes.
Ryan’s eyes become intense, like two blue
storms of sexuality. My whole body locks up. Holy shit.
He takes my hand and leads me towards the
hanging beads, my pulse accelerating. On second thought, maybe I
don’t want to see the wizard.
We slip through the heavy room divider and
into a hallway of more dangling beads. Except these are dense
crystals in all different shapes and sizes, with bright orange and
purple lights shining behind them. And if you look hard enough you
can see silhouettes; bodies of men and women doing scandalous
things in provocative ways.
One term comes to mind as I follow Ryan down
the hallway. Champagne Room.
We stop in front of some hanging crystals.
They clink as Ryan pushes them aside, “after you.” I walk under an
orange spotlight, into a small space with a white leather couch
deep enough to lie on and walls a warm golden yellow.
Ryan steps in behind me and presses his body
flush against mine. My mind races.
Is he really going to do this?
Am I really going to let him?
Can I even handle this? Five minutes ago he
was with another woman. Quite possibly in this same room doing God
only knows what.
“Why do you do this Ryan?” I expel. I know he
explained it in words, but I need to experience it to truly
understand.
He ambles around me so close; the only thing
separating us is a whisper of air.
“I told you, the money,” he says as he
unbuttons his shirt.
“You said women too,” I watch him cautiously,
my gaze jumping between his eyes and his chest.
“That was before you walked back into my
life. You’re the only woman I want to touch now. The others, like
you saw before, it’s just an act. A business transaction. It’s what
I have to do to get what I want.”
“Doesn’t it make them feel used?” I flick my
eyes up at him.
“It mustn’t. They always come back.”
“You like it. I saw your face. That wasn’t an
act.”
Ryan stands right in front of me, his shirt
unbuttoned and dangling open. “I won’t lie to you Alana, I’ll never
lie to you,” his tone is hard, but seductive. “I do like the
attention. But it’s not real. It’s my job to sell attractiveness
and fantasy, and I do it well. But that’s all it is, fantasy and I
know it. When I’m with you, that’s my real.”
My breath catches when he says the word real.
I can’t help but find the irony in his words; I’m exactly to him
what he is to me. Two people one and the same, both living a double
life to get what they want; a future and each other.
And that is what I want. A future, with
Ryan.
I go to put my hands on his chest, but he
steps away shaking his head no. “In this room, it’s all about you,”
he walks around, stopping right behind me. “You have to tell me
what you want Alana,” he whispers in my ear and I almost go limp,
the sound of his voice is erotic as hell.
I swallow hard, but can’t utter a word,
because truth be told, I have no freakin’ idea what I want. At
least, not in this scenario.
Ryan starts to rub my shoulders. I think he
can feel my hesitation.
“Why are you so tense? This is supposed to be
fun.”
Fun? The word rattles around in my head. Fun
- a time or feeling of enjoyment or amusement.
Okay, let’s have some fun.
I turn around to face him and our eyes lock.
“Show me.”
“Show you what?” his tone dripping with
sensuality.
“Show me Jack the Stripper.”
Holy fuck!
His chest starts
is permitted behind closed doors.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks, digging his
hip into mine.
I want to say yes, because I am, but I also
want to know what the fuck is behind that beaded curtain.
I feel like this is my decisive moment before
we take the next step. I need to find out if I really can try with
Ryan, or if I’m fooling myself and need to cut my losses.
“What’s back there?” I ask him, thrusting my
chin the direction he just came from.
“You really want to know?”
I consider for a beat and then nod my head
yes.
Ryan’s eyes become intense, like two blue
storms of sexuality. My whole body locks up. Holy shit.
He takes my hand and leads me towards the
hanging beads, my pulse accelerating. On second thought, maybe I
don’t want to see the wizard.
We slip through the heavy room divider and
into a hallway of more dangling beads. Except these are dense
crystals in all different shapes and sizes, with bright orange and
purple lights shining behind them. And if you look hard enough you
can see silhouettes; bodies of men and women doing scandalous
things in provocative ways.
One term comes to mind as I follow Ryan down
the hallway. Champagne Room.
We stop in front of some hanging crystals.
They clink as Ryan pushes them aside, “after you.” I walk under an
orange spotlight, into a small space with a white leather couch
deep enough to lie on and walls a warm golden yellow.
Ryan steps in behind me and presses his body
flush against mine. My mind races.
Is he really going to do this?
Am I really going to let him?
Can I even handle this? Five minutes ago he
was with another woman. Quite possibly in this same room doing God
only knows what.
“Why do you do this Ryan?” I expel. I know he
explained it in words, but I need to experience it to truly
understand.
He ambles around me so close; the only thing
separating us is a whisper of air.
“I told you, the money,” he says as he
unbuttons his shirt.
“You said women too,” I watch him cautiously,
my gaze jumping between his eyes and his chest.
“That was before you walked back into my
life. You’re the only woman I want to touch now. The others, like
you saw before, it’s just an act. A business transaction. It’s what
I have to do to get what I want.”
“Doesn’t it make them feel used?” I flick my
eyes up at him.
“It mustn’t. They always come back.”
“You like it. I saw your face. That wasn’t an
act.”
Ryan stands right in front of me, his shirt
unbuttoned and dangling open. “I won’t lie to you Alana, I’ll never
lie to you,” his tone is hard, but seductive. “I do like the
attention. But it’s not real. It’s my job to sell attractiveness
and fantasy, and I do it well. But that’s all it is, fantasy and I
know it. When I’m with you, that’s my real.”
My breath catches when he says the word real.
I can’t help but find the irony in his words; I’m exactly to him
what he is to me. Two people one and the same, both living a double
life to get what they want; a future and each other.
And that is what I want. A future, with
Ryan.
I go to put my hands on his chest, but he
steps away shaking his head no. “In this room, it’s all about you,”
he walks around, stopping right behind me. “You have to tell me
what you want Alana,” he whispers in my ear and I almost go limp,
the sound of his voice is erotic as hell.
I swallow hard, but can’t utter a word,
because truth be told, I have no freakin’ idea what I want. At
least, not in this scenario.
Ryan starts to rub my shoulders. I think he
can feel my hesitation.
“Why are you so tense? This is supposed to be
fun.”
Fun? The word rattles around in my head. Fun
- a time or feeling of enjoyment or amusement.
Okay, let’s have some fun.
I turn around to face him and our eyes lock.
“Show me.”
“Show you what?” his tone dripping with
sensuality.
“Show me Jack the Stripper.”
Holy fuck!
His chest starts
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