the motocross rider. An image¸ not a person.”
“Take some responsibility, Spencer. You’re in charge of what people see. You just need to be more discerning with which ones you let in. If people saw the worst in you, you let them.”
Ouch.
“Fair call, but I guess it was easier to go with it.”
We sit in silence while I mentally beat the shit out of myself. She’s right. I took the easy way out. Why the fuck did I?
“I had a nice dinner with Aidan and his family last night,” April says, changing topic.
“Cute boys, huh? Eevie brought them around after you left the track yesterday.” I’d chased one of them, Grady, I think, and he’d giggled like crazy when I caught him and tickled him. It was kinda cool.
“Yeah. They are.”
“Do you want kids?” I ask, wondering if I’m ready for the answer. I’d never, ever asked a girl that.
“Of course, one day.” She shrugs. “You?”
“Yeah. One day.” My mother regularly reminds me that time is ticking away, but I keep brushing it off, thinking that day is a long way off. Getting married and having kids seems like it happens in some faraway place, and that’s not the direction I’m headed. Still, years just happen to fly by, and twenty-eight wasn’t that far away. Fuck. I hate getting old.
“And this whole ‘manwhore’ business—I wasn’t entirely shocked that you get your fair share of action, but what I’m worried about is how people see the way you treat women.”
“I have a past. It’s not exactly something I’m proud of.” Not since meeting you . Yeah, I used to brag about my sexcapades, but it’s not like I didn’t know I was using girls. I have a conscience buried somewhere.
“Who told you?” I ask as I fill both our glasses.
“Eevie.”
At least Aidan didn’t open his mouth. “What did she say?”
“She said Aidan doesn’t like you around her, especially after something you said about sharing . ”
Great. Aidan doesn’t trust me.
A couple of years ago, if I’d had the opportunity to talk to Eevie again I might have tried to talk her around. She’s smart, funny and a natural beauty, much like April, but she’s no April. I want April.
“I have some boundaries. I’m not a total arsehole. Aidan is my teammate. I just tried to rile him up. It was the first time I’d met her. Aidan was so over-the-top protective it wasn’t funny. He’s married now, with kids. I wouldn’t do anything to ruin that.”
“Why not try for something? Why one one-night stand after another?”
“You know it wasn’t all one-sided. Sometimes I was just treated as a ‘pretty face’. I was a novelty. It became a habit and people expected it from me. But in all honesty, I haven’t wanted to try for something … until you. You changed that, and made me want something … more .”
“Is it because I haven’t slept with you yet?”
“Truth?”
“I’d prefer it.”
“Maybe. But as much as I’m crawling out of my own skin wanting to, in a way it’s good we haven’t. You are the kick in the arse I needed. It was no life and I’m tired of it, but I don’t know any other way. It’s a lonely business, and when everyone around you is settling down and having kids, it’s scary as shit when you don’t know the first fucking thing about dating. Getting to know you … for the first time, I see a future with someone.”
“Really? You see that with me?” She grips my hand and I squeeze back.
“Yes, April. But you’re gonna have to make some allowances for me, because I really have no clue how ‘dating’ works.”
“Have you had any kind of long-term thing?”
“Not since college. It lasted about three months.”
“What was she like?” Lisa. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“She was nice. Just a regular girl. Attractive, intelligent, but —”
“What happened?” she says in a tone that implies it was me who ended things.
“ She got trashed at a party and slept with a mate.”
“Oh,” April says, her
“Take some responsibility, Spencer. You’re in charge of what people see. You just need to be more discerning with which ones you let in. If people saw the worst in you, you let them.”
Ouch.
“Fair call, but I guess it was easier to go with it.”
We sit in silence while I mentally beat the shit out of myself. She’s right. I took the easy way out. Why the fuck did I?
“I had a nice dinner with Aidan and his family last night,” April says, changing topic.
“Cute boys, huh? Eevie brought them around after you left the track yesterday.” I’d chased one of them, Grady, I think, and he’d giggled like crazy when I caught him and tickled him. It was kinda cool.
“Yeah. They are.”
“Do you want kids?” I ask, wondering if I’m ready for the answer. I’d never, ever asked a girl that.
“Of course, one day.” She shrugs. “You?”
“Yeah. One day.” My mother regularly reminds me that time is ticking away, but I keep brushing it off, thinking that day is a long way off. Getting married and having kids seems like it happens in some faraway place, and that’s not the direction I’m headed. Still, years just happen to fly by, and twenty-eight wasn’t that far away. Fuck. I hate getting old.
“And this whole ‘manwhore’ business—I wasn’t entirely shocked that you get your fair share of action, but what I’m worried about is how people see the way you treat women.”
“I have a past. It’s not exactly something I’m proud of.” Not since meeting you . Yeah, I used to brag about my sexcapades, but it’s not like I didn’t know I was using girls. I have a conscience buried somewhere.
“Who told you?” I ask as I fill both our glasses.
“Eevie.”
At least Aidan didn’t open his mouth. “What did she say?”
“She said Aidan doesn’t like you around her, especially after something you said about sharing . ”
Great. Aidan doesn’t trust me.
A couple of years ago, if I’d had the opportunity to talk to Eevie again I might have tried to talk her around. She’s smart, funny and a natural beauty, much like April, but she’s no April. I want April.
“I have some boundaries. I’m not a total arsehole. Aidan is my teammate. I just tried to rile him up. It was the first time I’d met her. Aidan was so over-the-top protective it wasn’t funny. He’s married now, with kids. I wouldn’t do anything to ruin that.”
“Why not try for something? Why one one-night stand after another?”
“You know it wasn’t all one-sided. Sometimes I was just treated as a ‘pretty face’. I was a novelty. It became a habit and people expected it from me. But in all honesty, I haven’t wanted to try for something … until you. You changed that, and made me want something … more .”
“Is it because I haven’t slept with you yet?”
“Truth?”
“I’d prefer it.”
“Maybe. But as much as I’m crawling out of my own skin wanting to, in a way it’s good we haven’t. You are the kick in the arse I needed. It was no life and I’m tired of it, but I don’t know any other way. It’s a lonely business, and when everyone around you is settling down and having kids, it’s scary as shit when you don’t know the first fucking thing about dating. Getting to know you … for the first time, I see a future with someone.”
“Really? You see that with me?” She grips my hand and I squeeze back.
“Yes, April. But you’re gonna have to make some allowances for me, because I really have no clue how ‘dating’ works.”
“Have you had any kind of long-term thing?”
“Not since college. It lasted about three months.”
“What was she like?” Lisa. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“She was nice. Just a regular girl. Attractive, intelligent, but —”
“What happened?” she says in a tone that implies it was me who ended things.
“ She got trashed at a party and slept with a mate.”
“Oh,” April says, her
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