Still With Me by Thierry Cohen

she? What’s happened to us? He thought of Thomas, of Simon, the hospital. How outdated were his memories this time?
    Jeremy got up and opened the closet. He had several suits, a dozen shirts, two pairs of shoes. Boxes were stackedat the bottom of the closet. He started going through them when a woman’s voice surprised him.
    “What are you looking for?”
    He spun around to discover Clotilde, smiling, cheeks pink. She had just come in, and she was holding a loaf of bread and a bag of pastries. Jeremy said nothing, frozen with surprise.
    “Why are you looking at me like that? Did I scare you? You look like a little boy caught with his hands in the cookie jar.” She laughed and headed into the kitchen. “I’m going to make breakfast while you sift through your treasure box. And good luck, because when you look at how it was packed…”
    Jeremy remained crouched, petrified. No. It’s impossible. Not that. Not her .
    He managed to stand and sit down on the bed. Clotilde came back into the room. “I put the coffee on. I’ll clean up in a minute. Quite the party, huh?”
    Jeremy said nothing, vacillating between sadness and terror.
    “Okay, fine. I see you haven’t fully recovered. Do you want a massage?” She came and sat behind him on thebed. She nudged him and got him to lie down on his stomach. “Come on, relax. There you go, like that. You’re so stiff.”
    Jeremy felt himself go limp. He had neither the will nor the strength to resist. He felt like he was a character in a grotesque puppet story. She sat astride his buttocks and ran her hands over his back.
    “The drunkest last night was Bruno,” she said. “He said some crazy things. And honestly, I didn’t think it was funny. Retarded macho jokes. That guy has libido problems if you ask me. And he thought he was going to coax Sylvie into his bed with his crappy humor and his alcoholic breath? She turned him down quick. And she did everything she could to seduce the adorable Charles. But ever since his sudden enlightenment, that one, he hasn’t been the least bit interested in women. You know, you’d think a guy who’s attracted to men after more than twenty years of rather active heterosexuality—because, you know, he was a hot little bunny before—you’d think he’d at least become bisexual. But no! He’s only interested in men right now…Are you feeling any better? Hey, you could at least say something.”
     
    Jeremy wasn’t listening to Clotilde anymore. Dazed, he found it impossible to get up. He wanted her to stop talking and disappear.
    She stretched out on his back. “Would you prefer something more intimate? That might help you rediscover your emotional potential. No reason to dwell on yesterday’s little fiasco.” Clotilde kissed Jeremy’s neck and back.
    Her kisses revolted him. Jeremy turned abruptly, and Clotilde fell to one side. “Get up and go away!” he roared, drawing himself up.
    She looked at him in astonishment. “Are you joking? Are you feeling sick or something?” she asked, her voice torn between disbelief and anger.
    “Get out!”
    “What’s wrong with you? Are you crazy? Is this because I said something about your difficulty yesterday? I was only joking…you were drunk, that’s it. I mean, come on, I know you well enough to know—”
    “Leave!”
    Frightened, Clotilde backed away. Then, driven by rage and humiliation, she stood up and faced him. “Who do you think you are?” she shouted angrily. “You think you scareme? You think you can play games with me? I’m not one of those little sluts you pick up at the bar and pay so they’ll leave as soon as you snap your fingers.”
    Jeremy said nothing. He didn’t care about what she was saying anymore. Clotilde took his silence for weakness.
    “You make me sick, asshole,” she spat with loathing. “I’m leaving. Your wife is right. You’re crazy. That’s right, you’re nothing but an impotent little freak. And don’t you dare call me with more