there? I put that shit on my mental to do list. I’ll get to it when I get to it. Right now, it feels right to just let the fuck go. Truth is, I am on the far side of thirty, and I feel it. Not so much in my body—thank Jesus all my parts, including my dick, still work—but somewhere in my head. My heart. Not the fucking organ, but it’s the emotional stuff. Most days, it feels like I’m camped out in the middle of an iceberg and that’s wrong. Way too screwed up that I’m hanging back, watching life, but not ready to jump in. I’m one big ice cube bobbing up and down on the waves, and I’ll probably collide with Greenland at some point and that will be that.
Except that when I’m around Hindi, I’m not cold.
I’m on fire.
But that’s just lust. She’s hot and I’m not blind. I’m just admiring the really great view.
“You think she dated while we were split up?” I ask because, yeah, I’ve wondered about it. She’s hot as fuck and so full of life. What guy wouldn’t want to do her? Chastity would require a major miracle, and we both believed we were divorced. Free to go about our business with whomever we wanted.
Finn snorts. “Fuck if I know.”
“Yeah.” Cover a whole lot of territory with that word, too. Guess I could Google her, see what I could find out. As a reality TV star, I’m betting her dating life is fair game. Hell, that one time I visited her in New York, my face—and my ass—ended up plastered across more than one site. It doesn’t feel right, though, checking up on her. We’d said our goodbyes, and she’d have got on with her life. Not like I wanted her alone and hurting.
When I look at her now, I just see my Hindi. Don’t see those missing years and damned sure don’t want to fill in the blanks. As far as my dick is concerned, time hasn’t passed at all. My head has moved on, but my dick is planted in the past. Rest of me, though? Being career military leaves a mark. My body has scars on it, inside and out, and while I earned them serving my country, I don’t look like an underwear model. Not sure how I’m gonna stack up against Hindi’s usual crowd. Woman fucking designs underwear, so she’s seen a lot of banging bodies. I know what to do with what I’ve got, but I’m no pretty boy. Nor am I interested in the dating game or stripping down in front of a new woman.
Fuck.
When did I get so old?
“None of my business what she did or didn’t do,” I say finally, because I can just tell that Finn’s itching to say something. We’ve got another twenty miles before I can ditch his ass at his front door or Vali’s. Jack curls up behind us, enjoying the backseat. I don’t begrudge him. He’s earned it.
Finn actually takes a minute to respond. Must be working through one hell of an answer. “Think that’s the best idea,” he says slowly. “I mean, she thought the two of you were over. Not like she was cheating on you if she did see other people.”
Fuck, but I’m tired. “Water under the bridge.”
Finn nods. “So only question now is whether you want a retread. Because she’s hot, she’s here, and it sure as fuck seems like she’s still under your skin.”
Hindi is somewhere, that’s for sure.
“Are you suggesting I do my ex-wife?”
“Not like she’s actually your ex, right? You’ve got some time before everything’s official?”
“You think she’s gonna want to play house with me while we wait for our dissolution?”
Finn blows out a breath slowly. “Noooo. But I think you should look at the possibilities. You’ve got some time to kill, and it sounds like you’ve also got some unfinished business of the non-paperwork variety.”
“Are you Ms. Lonely Heart now?” I snap. “Last I checked, you’ve had exactly one serious relationship, and I know for a fact that you did just about everything you could to screw it up.”
Finn may have met Vali when he pulled her out of a ditch (which was guaranteed to win him points in the heroic
Except that when I’m around Hindi, I’m not cold.
I’m on fire.
But that’s just lust. She’s hot and I’m not blind. I’m just admiring the really great view.
“You think she dated while we were split up?” I ask because, yeah, I’ve wondered about it. She’s hot as fuck and so full of life. What guy wouldn’t want to do her? Chastity would require a major miracle, and we both believed we were divorced. Free to go about our business with whomever we wanted.
Finn snorts. “Fuck if I know.”
“Yeah.” Cover a whole lot of territory with that word, too. Guess I could Google her, see what I could find out. As a reality TV star, I’m betting her dating life is fair game. Hell, that one time I visited her in New York, my face—and my ass—ended up plastered across more than one site. It doesn’t feel right, though, checking up on her. We’d said our goodbyes, and she’d have got on with her life. Not like I wanted her alone and hurting.
When I look at her now, I just see my Hindi. Don’t see those missing years and damned sure don’t want to fill in the blanks. As far as my dick is concerned, time hasn’t passed at all. My head has moved on, but my dick is planted in the past. Rest of me, though? Being career military leaves a mark. My body has scars on it, inside and out, and while I earned them serving my country, I don’t look like an underwear model. Not sure how I’m gonna stack up against Hindi’s usual crowd. Woman fucking designs underwear, so she’s seen a lot of banging bodies. I know what to do with what I’ve got, but I’m no pretty boy. Nor am I interested in the dating game or stripping down in front of a new woman.
Fuck.
When did I get so old?
“None of my business what she did or didn’t do,” I say finally, because I can just tell that Finn’s itching to say something. We’ve got another twenty miles before I can ditch his ass at his front door or Vali’s. Jack curls up behind us, enjoying the backseat. I don’t begrudge him. He’s earned it.
Finn actually takes a minute to respond. Must be working through one hell of an answer. “Think that’s the best idea,” he says slowly. “I mean, she thought the two of you were over. Not like she was cheating on you if she did see other people.”
Fuck, but I’m tired. “Water under the bridge.”
Finn nods. “So only question now is whether you want a retread. Because she’s hot, she’s here, and it sure as fuck seems like she’s still under your skin.”
Hindi is somewhere, that’s for sure.
“Are you suggesting I do my ex-wife?”
“Not like she’s actually your ex, right? You’ve got some time before everything’s official?”
“You think she’s gonna want to play house with me while we wait for our dissolution?”
Finn blows out a breath slowly. “Noooo. But I think you should look at the possibilities. You’ve got some time to kill, and it sounds like you’ve also got some unfinished business of the non-paperwork variety.”
“Are you Ms. Lonely Heart now?” I snap. “Last I checked, you’ve had exactly one serious relationship, and I know for a fact that you did just about everything you could to screw it up.”
Finn may have met Vali when he pulled her out of a ditch (which was guaranteed to win him points in the heroic
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