question, ” I remind him, enjoying the camaraderie
despite myself.
“ You
Porter women are relentless, aren ’ t
you? ” he says, “ I
don ’ t
know which one of you is the most stubborn. ”
“ It ’ s
a four way tie, ” I say lightly.
“ Sounds
familiar, ” he
replies.
A
silence unfolds between us, the jocular mood fading away as we hear the pickup
truck start with a wheeze and take off down the driveway. It ’ s
ridiculous to be jealous of Sophie for getting some alone time with Cash; ridiculous
to be suspicious of his motives for taking her on a little joy ride … yet
here I am, all jealousy and suspicion. What a charming combination.
“ I ’ m
gonna take this thing out, ” Luke says tersely, walking over to the
single-seat kayak and lowering himself in. “ Enjoy
the peace and quiet. ”
“ Thanks, ” I say wistfully, drawing
my knees into my chest.
Luke
grabs the paddle and pushes himself away from the dock. He chops at the water
with strong, determined strokes, and soon he ’ s
disappeared from sight around an outcropping of trees. For perhaps the first
time since arriving here at the lake house, I ’ m
all alone.
I
should be used to the feeling by now, having spent much of these past few years
by myself in tiny apartments, tiny cubicles, the private world of my own grief
that opened wide within my tiny self after Dad died. But, surrounded by all
this huge open space, my own loneliness is amplified tenfold. Sitting beside
the expansive waters of the lake, underneath the arching sky, among ancient
rocks and trees…I feel smaller than ever. More alone than ever. But even so, I
realize there ’ s only one person who could fill the
massive void of my lonesomeness. And my little sister is currently riding
shotgun in his truck.
Perfect.
Just perfect .
Chapter Seven
I
retire to my bedroom absurdly early that night, claiming to have a headache.
What ’ s
truly aching is that bruised, beating muscle in my chest, but no one else needs
to know that. This little vacation is almost halfway over, so why do I feel
more tense and exhausted than when I arrived? I lay wide awake in my guest room
as the hours slip by, and before I know it the night is nearly over, without my
having slept a wink. What I wouldn ’ t
give for a little stress relief of the kind Cash and I enjoyed that first night
at the motel …
Despite
his avowed pledge to “ make my stay worthwhile ” ,
I ’ ve
barely seen hide or hair of Cash since that first night we spent here. And
trust me, I ’ d like to see all of that hide if I
could get another chance. He said himself that he doesn ’ t
give a shit about what our parents ’ relationship is, so what
the hell gives? Did he just lose interest in me overnight? I decide to consult
the expert on all matters concerning my love life. In other words, I give Allie
a call.
“ MaddieMaddieMaddie! ” she squeals upon picking
up.
“ What ’ re
you, happy to hear from me or something? ” I ask, flopping down onto
the guest room ’ s twin bed.
“ Just
a little, ” she
replies.
“ I
hope I didn ’ t call too late, ” I go on, glancing at the
digital clock pulsing 3:00am in big red digits. “ I
was really just going to leave you a message …”
“ It ’ s
never too late for my best friend, ” she says cheerfully. I
hear a far less perky, very distinctly male voice grumble in the background,
despite Allie ’ s shushing.
“ Got
a visitor? ” I
ask.
“ Something
like that, ” she
replies. “ Brian. Or … Ryan?
I don ’ t
remember. He just went to get a glass of water, so I can ’ t
even fact check …”
“ God,
I ’ ve
missed you, ” I
laugh.
“ What,
haven ’ t
you had a slew of hookups since you broke the seal a couple nights back? ” she asks mischievously. “ I
still can ’ t believe my little Maddie is all
grown up and screwing random hotties in motels …”
“ Just
the one hottie, ” I reminder her, rolling onto my side, “
despite myself.
“ You
Porter women are relentless, aren ’ t
you? ” he says, “ I
don ’ t
know which one of you is the most stubborn. ”
“ It ’ s
a four way tie, ” I say lightly.
“ Sounds
familiar, ” he
replies.
A
silence unfolds between us, the jocular mood fading away as we hear the pickup
truck start with a wheeze and take off down the driveway. It ’ s
ridiculous to be jealous of Sophie for getting some alone time with Cash; ridiculous
to be suspicious of his motives for taking her on a little joy ride … yet
here I am, all jealousy and suspicion. What a charming combination.
“ I ’ m
gonna take this thing out, ” Luke says tersely, walking over to the
single-seat kayak and lowering himself in. “ Enjoy
the peace and quiet. ”
“ Thanks, ” I say wistfully, drawing
my knees into my chest.
Luke
grabs the paddle and pushes himself away from the dock. He chops at the water
with strong, determined strokes, and soon he ’ s
disappeared from sight around an outcropping of trees. For perhaps the first
time since arriving here at the lake house, I ’ m
all alone.
I
should be used to the feeling by now, having spent much of these past few years
by myself in tiny apartments, tiny cubicles, the private world of my own grief
that opened wide within my tiny self after Dad died. But, surrounded by all
this huge open space, my own loneliness is amplified tenfold. Sitting beside
the expansive waters of the lake, underneath the arching sky, among ancient
rocks and trees…I feel smaller than ever. More alone than ever. But even so, I
realize there ’ s only one person who could fill the
massive void of my lonesomeness. And my little sister is currently riding
shotgun in his truck.
Perfect.
Just perfect .
Chapter Seven
I
retire to my bedroom absurdly early that night, claiming to have a headache.
What ’ s
truly aching is that bruised, beating muscle in my chest, but no one else needs
to know that. This little vacation is almost halfway over, so why do I feel
more tense and exhausted than when I arrived? I lay wide awake in my guest room
as the hours slip by, and before I know it the night is nearly over, without my
having slept a wink. What I wouldn ’ t
give for a little stress relief of the kind Cash and I enjoyed that first night
at the motel …
Despite
his avowed pledge to “ make my stay worthwhile ” ,
I ’ ve
barely seen hide or hair of Cash since that first night we spent here. And
trust me, I ’ d like to see all of that hide if I
could get another chance. He said himself that he doesn ’ t
give a shit about what our parents ’ relationship is, so what
the hell gives? Did he just lose interest in me overnight? I decide to consult
the expert on all matters concerning my love life. In other words, I give Allie
a call.
“ MaddieMaddieMaddie! ” she squeals upon picking
up.
“ What ’ re
you, happy to hear from me or something? ” I ask, flopping down onto
the guest room ’ s twin bed.
“ Just
a little, ” she
replies.
“ I
hope I didn ’ t call too late, ” I go on, glancing at the
digital clock pulsing 3:00am in big red digits. “ I
was really just going to leave you a message …”
“ It ’ s
never too late for my best friend, ” she says cheerfully. I
hear a far less perky, very distinctly male voice grumble in the background,
despite Allie ’ s shushing.
“ Got
a visitor? ” I
ask.
“ Something
like that, ” she
replies. “ Brian. Or … Ryan?
I don ’ t
remember. He just went to get a glass of water, so I can ’ t
even fact check …”
“ God,
I ’ ve
missed you, ” I
laugh.
“ What,
haven ’ t
you had a slew of hookups since you broke the seal a couple nights back? ” she asks mischievously. “ I
still can ’ t believe my little Maddie is all
grown up and screwing random hotties in motels …”
“ Just
the one hottie, ” I reminder her, rolling onto my side, “
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