Steel My Heart (Motorcycle Club Romance) (Sons of Steel Motorcycle Club Book 1) by Vivian Lux
Authors: Vivian Lux
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recognized him immediately and my heart pounded wildly. I shuffled my feet, trying to move forward, but I felt frozen to the spot. It was like he had appeared on command, my wish come true, but I was too terrified to go to him.
I could only watch. J. had a wrench in his hand and tossed it deftly to the other.
"Try 'er now," I heard him shout over the din, and the pudgy man revved the engine up to a scream. A wide smile broke across his face and he nodded, then reached his hand into his pocket and shoved some bills into J.'s hand. J. looked momentarily annoyed and shoved the money into his back pocket without counting it.
The pudgy man roared off into the early morning traffic, grinning like a maniac. J. stood on the sidewalk and watched him go north on 18th. I figured he was probably headed right for the highway. I watched him disappear and a sudden thought crossed my mind.
"Now how are you going to get home?" I blurted.
J. whirled around. When he saw me, his face registered several emotions at once. I saw a flicker of anger, a burst of annoyance, a hint of regret. Then an open, honest eagerness that made my heart leap as well as my feet. Suddenly unfrozen, I danced towards him, unable to hide my excitement.
"You're up," he remarked.
"Barely." Seeing him had made me forget how terrible I felt only moments ago.
"How's your head?"
I grimaced as I checked my self and realized it was still painful. "I'm ignoring it. What are you doing here?" The little hopeful thought that he had wanted to see me again buzzed around me like a gnat.
"I swear, I'm not stalking you," he began defensively.
I froze and held up my hands placatingly. "No, I saw, don't worry. You brought that guy a bike. I think he lives on the fifth floor."
J. nodded slowly. "Some kind of doctor?"
"Plastic surgeon, yeah."
"He must make a lot of money, huh?" There was a look in his eyes that told me to tread carefully.
"He's done well I think. I've never talked to him, just heard about him."
J. looked over my head, not making eye contact. "And you?"
"What about me?"
"You make a lot of money?"
"Oh god!" I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle the laugh. His eyes blazed and I quickly swallowed it down. "Ah, no. I'm a hick from Carbon County."
"So how can you afford to live in a place like this?" He gestured towards my building, rising high above the square.
I was suddenly flooded with shame. "I live with my fiancé," I confessed, flicking my engagement ring around my finger. "He bought it."
"Is he a doctor?"
I let myself laugh this time, but there was no mirth in it. "Ha, no. I think you have to have some compassion to be a doctor." As soon as I said it I bit my tongue.
J. looked at me sharply but didn't press. I felt compelled to continue, letting the words flood out in a torrent. "I was going to college, working at a restaurant. We met and I was suddenly in this place where I didn't belong."
J. shifted his hips a little and looked at the ground. "I never said you didn't belong here."
"No, you didn't." I sighed and looked up at the building. I couldn't even see our floor from where we stood. "I did."
He looked up at me, his eyes flicking back and forth across my face. I could tell he wanted to ask so many questions.
And I suddenly wanted to answer them. My words came tumbling fast and loose, spilling out of my mouth before I could catch hold of them and stuff them back in. I had no time to catch them and form my lies. I was terrified to hear the truth spew forth in a waterfall.
"I'm living this life where everything I do is wrong, everything I say is stupid. I keep making mistake after mistake and I don't know how to get free of it. Everything I do just pulls me further into this hole and I don't even know which way is up anymore."
I blushed at having revealed so much and hung my head. When his fingers brushed across my arm, I nearly jumped out of my
I could only watch. J. had a wrench in his hand and tossed it deftly to the other.
"Try 'er now," I heard him shout over the din, and the pudgy man revved the engine up to a scream. A wide smile broke across his face and he nodded, then reached his hand into his pocket and shoved some bills into J.'s hand. J. looked momentarily annoyed and shoved the money into his back pocket without counting it.
The pudgy man roared off into the early morning traffic, grinning like a maniac. J. stood on the sidewalk and watched him go north on 18th. I figured he was probably headed right for the highway. I watched him disappear and a sudden thought crossed my mind.
"Now how are you going to get home?" I blurted.
J. whirled around. When he saw me, his face registered several emotions at once. I saw a flicker of anger, a burst of annoyance, a hint of regret. Then an open, honest eagerness that made my heart leap as well as my feet. Suddenly unfrozen, I danced towards him, unable to hide my excitement.
"You're up," he remarked.
"Barely." Seeing him had made me forget how terrible I felt only moments ago.
"How's your head?"
I grimaced as I checked my self and realized it was still painful. "I'm ignoring it. What are you doing here?" The little hopeful thought that he had wanted to see me again buzzed around me like a gnat.
"I swear, I'm not stalking you," he began defensively.
I froze and held up my hands placatingly. "No, I saw, don't worry. You brought that guy a bike. I think he lives on the fifth floor."
J. nodded slowly. "Some kind of doctor?"
"Plastic surgeon, yeah."
"He must make a lot of money, huh?" There was a look in his eyes that told me to tread carefully.
"He's done well I think. I've never talked to him, just heard about him."
J. looked over my head, not making eye contact. "And you?"
"What about me?"
"You make a lot of money?"
"Oh god!" I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle the laugh. His eyes blazed and I quickly swallowed it down. "Ah, no. I'm a hick from Carbon County."
"So how can you afford to live in a place like this?" He gestured towards my building, rising high above the square.
I was suddenly flooded with shame. "I live with my fiancé," I confessed, flicking my engagement ring around my finger. "He bought it."
"Is he a doctor?"
I let myself laugh this time, but there was no mirth in it. "Ha, no. I think you have to have some compassion to be a doctor." As soon as I said it I bit my tongue.
J. looked at me sharply but didn't press. I felt compelled to continue, letting the words flood out in a torrent. "I was going to college, working at a restaurant. We met and I was suddenly in this place where I didn't belong."
J. shifted his hips a little and looked at the ground. "I never said you didn't belong here."
"No, you didn't." I sighed and looked up at the building. I couldn't even see our floor from where we stood. "I did."
He looked up at me, his eyes flicking back and forth across my face. I could tell he wanted to ask so many questions.
And I suddenly wanted to answer them. My words came tumbling fast and loose, spilling out of my mouth before I could catch hold of them and stuff them back in. I had no time to catch them and form my lies. I was terrified to hear the truth spew forth in a waterfall.
"I'm living this life where everything I do is wrong, everything I say is stupid. I keep making mistake after mistake and I don't know how to get free of it. Everything I do just pulls me further into this hole and I don't even know which way is up anymore."
I blushed at having revealed so much and hung my head. When his fingers brushed across my arm, I nearly jumped out of my
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