side of the tracks in a dump. Clearly, no one would recognize his brilliance with his chosen lifestyle. And sadly for Ben, neither would he for some time to come.
Ben was delighted that I had asked him. I think that he believed that I hated him for being the black sheep. It wasn’t true. I loved his spunk and his tenacity. Like me, he would never let something go until it was finished. In the future, that would be his salvation and to me, my down fall. “Ben, there is one thing though. Charlene has asked me to ask you to cut your hair. We are having pictures taken and her family will be spending a lot of money on them. She would like everything to be perfect.”
“Shoot, I’ll shave my head if I can be your best man!” he exclaimed. He was so proud to be asked.
*****
We sat in a very quiet room of the temple. My mother had was there. My brother and father were absent. I felt uncomfortable about this. On such an important day, at such an important event, why did the church exclude loved ones? They were not worthy. “Was I? ” No, I was not worthy. I had lied to everyone and no one more than myself. Charlene had accompanied my mother, her parents, her brother and his wife, and me through the endowment process. Charlene did the endowment for herself. You only perform this contract with God for yourself the first time you attend the temple, and for women, that’s usually when they get married. The rest of us performed endowments for people who had died. In some ways, I look back and see how unfair that is. I mean, wha t if you got in there and look around and suddenly realize that you’ve been snickered?
I was the one to accept her into the celestial room, the holiest place of all places in the world that I knew of. After receiving her endowment and the new “garments”, we retreated to this special room where marriages and sealings were performed. All of us were dressed in similar white clothing. No one would be more special than any other in this place. We were sealed by someone I did not know and had never met. He was a volunteer at the temple. His words were simple and very clear. We were wed and sealed to each other for eternity. After the ceremony, he announced that we could then exchange our wedding bands. Jewelry was not part of the simple ceremony of the temple but the exchange was permitted after its conclusion.
Later, we adjourned to a local restaurant for the wedding breakfast. It is here that unworthy family members join the wedding party. Ben showed up and had not cut his hair. Charlene was livid.
“I can’t have him spoil my reception . Please talk to him to have him cut his hair.”
I did. He said that he would cut it prior to the evening’s reception. I believe that he did cut it. But it was not “short enough.” When he showed at the reception, Charlene was put to tears. I felt awful. But I really didn’t care that much about Ben’s hair. It was our wedding not just hers , and besides, he was my brother! Nevertheless, I imposed Charlene’s will upon him. My mother secured a pair of scissors and a comb. She hacked his hair off. And he donned his white tuxedo to join the wedding line. The pictures turned out fine by the way. But… in each and every one, Ben is standing there, with a host of happy faces surrounding him, sporting a scowl. I would rather have had him have long hair and be smiling.
I knew that Charlene had a strong will. I had no idea how it would help push me to make decisions, to hide and deceive, and to ultimately move on. I’m not saying that it was she who made it happen. But she was the catalyst in my decision making process which would demand a choice. My choice in confrontation would be to cover my tracks, to do or say anything necessary to cover my secret.
*****
We were both virgins. Yes, it is true. I had done some necking and petting through my dating years. And I sincerely confessed my sins to my bishop before I left on my mission. Other than that, we both
Ben was delighted that I had asked him. I think that he believed that I hated him for being the black sheep. It wasn’t true. I loved his spunk and his tenacity. Like me, he would never let something go until it was finished. In the future, that would be his salvation and to me, my down fall. “Ben, there is one thing though. Charlene has asked me to ask you to cut your hair. We are having pictures taken and her family will be spending a lot of money on them. She would like everything to be perfect.”
“Shoot, I’ll shave my head if I can be your best man!” he exclaimed. He was so proud to be asked.
*****
We sat in a very quiet room of the temple. My mother had was there. My brother and father were absent. I felt uncomfortable about this. On such an important day, at such an important event, why did the church exclude loved ones? They were not worthy. “Was I? ” No, I was not worthy. I had lied to everyone and no one more than myself. Charlene had accompanied my mother, her parents, her brother and his wife, and me through the endowment process. Charlene did the endowment for herself. You only perform this contract with God for yourself the first time you attend the temple, and for women, that’s usually when they get married. The rest of us performed endowments for people who had died. In some ways, I look back and see how unfair that is. I mean, wha t if you got in there and look around and suddenly realize that you’ve been snickered?
I was the one to accept her into the celestial room, the holiest place of all places in the world that I knew of. After receiving her endowment and the new “garments”, we retreated to this special room where marriages and sealings were performed. All of us were dressed in similar white clothing. No one would be more special than any other in this place. We were sealed by someone I did not know and had never met. He was a volunteer at the temple. His words were simple and very clear. We were wed and sealed to each other for eternity. After the ceremony, he announced that we could then exchange our wedding bands. Jewelry was not part of the simple ceremony of the temple but the exchange was permitted after its conclusion.
Later, we adjourned to a local restaurant for the wedding breakfast. It is here that unworthy family members join the wedding party. Ben showed up and had not cut his hair. Charlene was livid.
“I can’t have him spoil my reception . Please talk to him to have him cut his hair.”
I did. He said that he would cut it prior to the evening’s reception. I believe that he did cut it. But it was not “short enough.” When he showed at the reception, Charlene was put to tears. I felt awful. But I really didn’t care that much about Ben’s hair. It was our wedding not just hers , and besides, he was my brother! Nevertheless, I imposed Charlene’s will upon him. My mother secured a pair of scissors and a comb. She hacked his hair off. And he donned his white tuxedo to join the wedding line. The pictures turned out fine by the way. But… in each and every one, Ben is standing there, with a host of happy faces surrounding him, sporting a scowl. I would rather have had him have long hair and be smiling.
I knew that Charlene had a strong will. I had no idea how it would help push me to make decisions, to hide and deceive, and to ultimately move on. I’m not saying that it was she who made it happen. But she was the catalyst in my decision making process which would demand a choice. My choice in confrontation would be to cover my tracks, to do or say anything necessary to cover my secret.
*****
We were both virgins. Yes, it is true. I had done some necking and petting through my dating years. And I sincerely confessed my sins to my bishop before I left on my mission. Other than that, we both
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