Spud

Spud by John Van De Ruit Page B

Book: Spud by John Van De Ruit Read Free Book Online
Authors: John Van De Ruit
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He seemed pleased to see the return of Vern and the pair of them chatted quietly at the end of the table. (Due to Sparerib’s ban on tormenting Vern, we have decided tonot call Vern Rain Man for at least a week.)
    12:00   The Guv spent the entire double English lesson talking about sex. He reckons the whole world revolves around sex and if it wasn’t for sex, no book would have ever been written. A boy called Nelson Johnson from King house (who is a junior Christian leader) stood up angrily and challenged The Guv by saying the Bible was evidence of a pure and holy book. The Guv roared with laughter and told him the Bible was full of sodomy and incest and should have an age restriction. Johnson’s lip quivered and he sat down, shaking his head and muttering to himself.
    After class The Guv said he was expecting me to finish Catch 22 by Monday. He’s promised that my next book is the greatest literary work in the history of the world, but refused to tell me what it was.
    15:00   Earthworm asked me to bowl to him in the cricket nets. He reckons that because he’s the first team spinner, he never gets to face a spinner at practice. The first team practice nets are made of grass turf rather than the spongy matting of all the other practice nets. I felt like I was running on holy ground as I bowled to my prefect. After practice he bought me a cooldrink and a chocolate at the tuckshop and told me that I have massive potential as a spinner. (I unfortunately could not say the same thing about his batting.)
    When I got back to the house Simon struggled to hide his jealousy at the fact that I had bowled in the first team nets. He wanted to know every minute detail about them. Our conversation was interrupted by Boggo who showed us a graphic picture of a naked lady sitting on what looked like half a police baton.
    22:00   After silencing a minor riot, Rambo ran through the plan for tomorrow’s night swim. Our route is to bethe same, except for Fatty who will have to risk walking downstairs and through the main quad. Fatty shook his head but said nothing. Gecko looked incredibly pale at the thought of another night swim but also said nothing.
    23:20   Roger scratched at the window above my bed. Seems like Vern will never again sleep alone at school. I closed my eyes and thought of the Mermaid and the school play (the two rainbows in my life). I wondered if the Mermaid would fall in love with me if she saw me acting on stage.
    I dreamed of the Mermaid sitting naked on half a police baton.
Friday 25th February
    Full school singing practice. Reverend Bishop left the school song for last. Everybody knows the words so he didn’t bother about calling the hymn number. Four hundred voices nearly raised the roof off the ancient building. I had goosebumps all over as every boy let rip with as much passion and heart as he had. It was impossible not to feel like a huge band of brothers about to go off and thrash the living daylights out of the enemy. This feeling of unity and passion lasted exactly six minutes. Amazing how quickly a science class can suck every last bit of life out of you.
    23:00   Night swim: Fatty was sent downstairs half an hour ago. If he was spotted he was ordered to tell the prefects that he was feeling ill and needed some air. Once the coast was clear, the plan was for him to sneak across the quad, past the crypt, through the rose garden and then to The Glock’s lemon tree. He was then to give the owl hoot that Mad Dog had taught him. This would be our signal to follow.
    We sat in silence waiting for the signal. Rambo paced up and down the aisle of the dormitory muttering to himself. Secretly, I was hoping that the call would never come and that the swim would be cancelled. Outwardly, I assured everybody that I was looking forward to taking on the guards and their dogs.
    Roger had already settled down on Vern’s bed and looked rather put out by all the activity. He kept miaowing at Vern who clucked away at

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