nodded like dummies. Viking is burly and bearded and has savage looking green eyes.
He began to pace like a caged lion. An actor,’ he boomed, ‘has no room for fear! No room for modesty! And, most importantly, no room for his ego! I have the ego – you deliver the goods! Capeesh?’ We all nodded again. ‘Right!’ he shouted, making Ms Roberts jump and clunk a note on the piano by mistake. ‘Let’s do this!’
We all shuffled out and waited to be called. Ms Roberts once again played the piano while Viking prowled around scribbling notes on a clipboard. When I walked in, Viking shouted, ‘Milton the Poet!’ and told me to singI’ll Do Anything again.
This time I sang well. My voice sounded clear and I was more in control. Viking didn’t stop me and wrote many notes while I was singing. When I was finished, he stared at me for ages and then said, ‘Thank you, Milton. Call in Stopfleld.’
Now that was more like it! At least I’d given a fair account of myself. I may not get a big role but at the very least I should make the chorus.
On the way back to the house I met Vern who’s been reunited with Roger the cat. Roger sat on Vern’s lap and purred happily to himself. Both of them looked just like concentration camp survivors from Crispo’s Auschwitz movie.
18:10 Gavin, the prefect under the stairs, ordered all the first years out of dinner to hunt for Albert, his pet rat. Mad Dog found it behind the fridge in the prefects’ room. Rambo says his prefect is wickedly weird and breeds cockroaches to feed Albert and Victoria the house snake.
21:30 Pike and Devries left a dozen eggs under Rambo’s duvet cover, which exploded when Rambo sat on his bed. After cleaning himself up, Rambo demanded that our dormitory wage a brutal war against Pike and Devries, and that we agree that any action against one of us is an action against all. We all shook on it, including Vern, who looked deadly solemn and committed.
Mad Dog admitted to placing the second banana in Glockenshpeel’s exhaust pipe and said that he did it to save his cousin. He also said that Stott and Emberton had been responsible for the first banana. We all congratulated him on his bravery and called him a legend. Mad Dog reckoned it was the power of Emberton’s dad that finally swayed the board.
Fatty then rose slowly and said, ‘The board of governorsare a sneaky lot, and trust me, gentlemen, I have proof of it.’ With that he farted loudly and called it a night.
Roger the cat jumped through my window and slept the night on Vern’s bed. Vern talks to Roger in a strange language that makes him sound stark raving crackers. Roger responds by purring and rubbing his head against Vern’s chin. As weird as their relationship is, Roger is probably the only reason Vern is back at school so I don’t mind all the jabbering away in cat language – after a while the madness becomes normal.
Thursday 24th February
06:20 Rambo punched Devries in the mouth in the showers. Julian, who was on duty, ran away screaming and called Bert to break it up. By the time Bert arrived, Devries was lying on the grey concrete floor, completely unconscious, with blood oozing out the corner of his mouth. Rambo stood calmly at the basins soaking his bleeding hand as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Julian was so distraught that Bert had to half-carry him to the san for a tranquillizer.
Luthuli pulled Rambo out of breakfast and the two of them took a stroll together across the quad. When Rambo returned, he said that our head of house was not telling Sparerib but wants the feud between Pike and Devries and our dormitory resolved. Rambo told him that we will only act if Pike and Devries act first. Luthuli promised that he would talk to Pike. (Devries can’t talk because his jaw has been wired up.)
Gecko received an ironic cheer/jeer from our table as he skulked in to breakfast. He shook my hand before launching himself at a teaspoon of cornflakes.
He began to pace like a caged lion. An actor,’ he boomed, ‘has no room for fear! No room for modesty! And, most importantly, no room for his ego! I have the ego – you deliver the goods! Capeesh?’ We all nodded again. ‘Right!’ he shouted, making Ms Roberts jump and clunk a note on the piano by mistake. ‘Let’s do this!’
We all shuffled out and waited to be called. Ms Roberts once again played the piano while Viking prowled around scribbling notes on a clipboard. When I walked in, Viking shouted, ‘Milton the Poet!’ and told me to singI’ll Do Anything again.
This time I sang well. My voice sounded clear and I was more in control. Viking didn’t stop me and wrote many notes while I was singing. When I was finished, he stared at me for ages and then said, ‘Thank you, Milton. Call in Stopfleld.’
Now that was more like it! At least I’d given a fair account of myself. I may not get a big role but at the very least I should make the chorus.
On the way back to the house I met Vern who’s been reunited with Roger the cat. Roger sat on Vern’s lap and purred happily to himself. Both of them looked just like concentration camp survivors from Crispo’s Auschwitz movie.
18:10 Gavin, the prefect under the stairs, ordered all the first years out of dinner to hunt for Albert, his pet rat. Mad Dog found it behind the fridge in the prefects’ room. Rambo says his prefect is wickedly weird and breeds cockroaches to feed Albert and Victoria the house snake.
21:30 Pike and Devries left a dozen eggs under Rambo’s duvet cover, which exploded when Rambo sat on his bed. After cleaning himself up, Rambo demanded that our dormitory wage a brutal war against Pike and Devries, and that we agree that any action against one of us is an action against all. We all shook on it, including Vern, who looked deadly solemn and committed.
Mad Dog admitted to placing the second banana in Glockenshpeel’s exhaust pipe and said that he did it to save his cousin. He also said that Stott and Emberton had been responsible for the first banana. We all congratulated him on his bravery and called him a legend. Mad Dog reckoned it was the power of Emberton’s dad that finally swayed the board.
Fatty then rose slowly and said, ‘The board of governorsare a sneaky lot, and trust me, gentlemen, I have proof of it.’ With that he farted loudly and called it a night.
Roger the cat jumped through my window and slept the night on Vern’s bed. Vern talks to Roger in a strange language that makes him sound stark raving crackers. Roger responds by purring and rubbing his head against Vern’s chin. As weird as their relationship is, Roger is probably the only reason Vern is back at school so I don’t mind all the jabbering away in cat language – after a while the madness becomes normal.
Thursday 24th February
06:20 Rambo punched Devries in the mouth in the showers. Julian, who was on duty, ran away screaming and called Bert to break it up. By the time Bert arrived, Devries was lying on the grey concrete floor, completely unconscious, with blood oozing out the corner of his mouth. Rambo stood calmly at the basins soaking his bleeding hand as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Julian was so distraught that Bert had to half-carry him to the san for a tranquillizer.
Luthuli pulled Rambo out of breakfast and the two of them took a stroll together across the quad. When Rambo returned, he said that our head of house was not telling Sparerib but wants the feud between Pike and Devries and our dormitory resolved. Rambo told him that we will only act if Pike and Devries act first. Luthuli promised that he would talk to Pike. (Devries can’t talk because his jaw has been wired up.)
Gecko received an ironic cheer/jeer from our table as he skulked in to breakfast. He shook my hand before launching himself at a teaspoon of cornflakes.
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