Southern Belles, a Novel About Love, Purpose & Second Chances (9781310340970) by Sarah Anderson Page B

little better and I started eating
everything in sight. I craved the craziest foods like; applesauce,
ranch dressing and chicken…all together. CeCe would bring me large
jars of applesauce after her classes. She persuaded me to go to the
campus clinic even though I was afraid they would call my parents
if they found out I were pregnant. CeCe reassured me they couldn’t
do that because of privacy laws—something she knew of because of
her parent’s conversations about their cases around the home. My
parents were going to find out eventually; I just didn’t know how
to tell them yet and didn’t want them hearing from someone else. At
the clinic, I met with a young-looking female doctor. I had to pee
in a cup and sit through my first pelvic exam—very uncomfortable.
She was very nice though and asked me if I had told my parents yet.
I confided that I hadn’t and that I wasn’t sure how to tell them.
She explained that I had options: parenting the baby, adopting the
baby or aborting the pregnancy. I heard her but my mind was
overwhelmed and it started to drift. I didn’t know how I was going
to raise a baby on my own. I didn’t have a job. My parents and
scholarships supported me right now. How was I going to pay for
diapers and formula? Where was I going to get money to pay for the
baby’s clothing, let alone to have the baby? For a second the idea
of abortion popped into my head. No one would know, except CeCe and
me. I could continue school. But this thing—this baby was growing
inside of me getting bigger every day. I didn’t know how to be a
mother and I surely did not want to become one at 18 but this was a
part of me and I had already made enough mistakes. I didn’t want to
make any more that I would regret for a lifetime.
    As I drifted back to the conversation I
heard the doctor say, “Go ahead and lie back. This may feel a
little cold.” She pulled out a clear-looking squirt bottle with a
light blue gel inside. I pulled up my shirt and she squirted a
lemon-sized amount of gel on my lower stomach. It was cold. She
pulled out a small scanner-looking instrument and placed it on my
stomach, on top of the gel. She pulled the over-head monitor closer
to her and I and began to rub the scanner over my belly. The
screen, which looked like a black and white fuzzy television
station, with no reception, showed a circular black mass on it.
Inside the circle was a tiny, round-oval shape.
    “Here we go. Here is your baby, she pointed.
This is the head and she has a nice little spine right there.” The
doctor said smiling.
    “It’s a she?” I asked curiously.
    “Well, actually, the baby’s too small to
identify the gender yet. You usually can’t tell that until you are
about 16-20 weeks along.” She said as she continued to scan this
tiny person.
    “Here’s the beginning of her feet and her
arm buds.” She said, pointing to two separate circles on the
screen.
    That was my baby. I had seen my baby for the
first time. It was real and growing. I couldn’t help but cry. I was
so scared about how I would tell my parents; how I’d raise a baby
on my own and how I’d finish school. But at that moment, I was so
overcome with emotion. I couldn’t explain it except for maybe
unconditional love. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but
somehow, some way, I was going to be a mom to this little person
wiggling around in my belly. I smiled and placed a hand near my
stomach.
    “It looks like your due date is June
seventh.” The doctor said as she pulled out some tissue paper to
wipe the gel off my belly.
    “Everything looks fine but you need to make
a decision soon. Whatever you do, you will need the support of
family. Here is a picture of the ultrasound that you can take with
you. Also, if you decide to keep the baby, you will need to set up
an appointment to meet with an OBGYN—a doctor who specializes in
monitoring you and your baby’s health. Your nausea is normal but
hopefully will subside by the end of the