slid a fair amount of the way on the rocky wall. It saved him from the brunt of the impact but tore up his exposed skin and his clothes. If heâd come down at a different angle or if weâd been just a little higher in elevation, I know this story wouldnât have had a happy ending. As it is, itâs clear Li Wei is still in a lot of pain, though, as usual, heâs trying to appear tough.
An outcropping of rock provides a protective roof, and I decide this area will be our camp. Although the afternoon skies are clear, thereâs a psychological safety to being under some coverâespecially if any more rocks come falling. I leave Li Wei resting there and venture out into some of the scraggly trees nearby in search of wood, so that we can make a fire when night comes. I have to break a few larger limbs in half, but for the most part, there is an ample supply of fallen branches. When I have an armful of firewood, I decide to search for a water source to refill our canteens.
I havenât gone very far when I hear the snapping of a branch behind me. I spin around in alarm, relaxing when I see Li Wei. Surprised, he asks,
How did you know I was here?
I heard you
, I tell him, briefly setting my firewood down.
What are you doing here? Youâre supposed to be resting.
Iâm no delicate flower
, he teases. I raise an eyebrow at that, and he explains, more seriously,
I was worried. You were gone awhile.
I wanted to find some water.
Our supply will last a little longer
, he says.
Wait until I can come look with you.
I nearly snap back that heâs coddling me again, but after his near-death experience, I find it difficult to chastise him. Itâs still hard for me to shake the pall cast by those terrifying moments, when I saw his body lying motionless on the rocks below. Looking him over now, I see that his concern isnât because he thinks Iâm incapable but simply because he cares about me. That realization stirs up the already conflicting emotions within me, and I avert my eyes.
Okay
, I say.
Letâs go back to camp.
Back by the shelter of the cliff, we each eat one of the lunch packs and try not to think about how little food there is left. The terrain on this plateau seems as inhospitable to growing food as our own village, so itâs unlikely weâre going to find anything in the wild. Weâll just have to wait until we get to the bottom of the mountain. Surely the township must have a reliable way of sustaining its food supply.
This is good
, Li Wei says, gesturing to the food in front of him.
Almost worth going on this crazy climb and getting myself killed.
You shouldnât joke about that
, I say. But itâs hard not to smile.
You know . . . thatâs why I climbed the shed that day. For food.
He tilts his head curiously.
What do you mean?
His gaze holds mine, and I try not to blush as I explain.
There was this story going around about how there was a stash of food being hidden on the roof. I think it was just something the older kids made up to tease us, but I believed it. Zhang Jing was sick at the time, and I thought sheâd feel better if she had more to eat. So I climbed up to see if the story was true.
And you found out that the only true thing was that the shed really was in bad shape
, he finishes. I nod, expecting him to laugh at me. But he only asks,
Why didnât you ever tell me this before? I always thought you did it for the thrill of it.
I know
, I say.
And Iâve always known. . . . Iâve always known you thought I was brave because of it, even back then. I guess I liked you thinking of me that way. I was afraid of you knowing the truth.
That you did it to help your sister? You donât think thatâs brave too?
It doesnât sound as exciting
, I say.
Certainly not when youâre six.
You care about her a lot
, he remarks.
I lift my head so I can squarely meet his eyes.
You know I do.
Thatâs why
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