growing up bombarded her and a smile formed on her face. Then Blake’s face appeared in her head. Man how she missed him and the romance they used to share. Two people can love a lifetime if they also love themselves, and are ready to give love to another person. She prayed to God when she met Blake that if he was the one for her to give her a sign. She felt so sure that God meant for the two of them to spend their lives together. Then more than ever, she believed that God meant for them to be a family or why would she be pregnant?
Crystal recalled her last birthday when Blake sent her a text asking her not make dinner because he planned to take her out for the evening. He came home from work and instead of just walking in, he knocked on the door so she had to open it. When she did, he was holding a beautiful bouquet of roses. After she let him in with a swift kiss, she put the flowers in water and Blake told her they could not compare to her beauty.
They went to her favorite restaurant and after eating, the waitresses sang happy birthday to her. Then, Blake pulled out a present wrapped in gold paper with red hearts and a bright red ribbon. She could not have loved him any more than at that moment. She unwrapped the gift and inside she found a silver locket on a tiny silver chain.
He was so good to me , she thought.
Her hand went to her neck wrapping the locket around it. Maybe their problems were caused a little bit by both of them , she thought. Maybe I’m not being supportive to his feelings like I was when we were first married.
Crystal knew she had been irritable lately because she felt so fat and ugly. It was getting hard hauling a big belly around all the time without a break. She wanted to sleep on her belly again, just once so she could really get a good night’s sleep. Plus, she missed looking down and seeing her feet. Sometimes the baby just kicked in the most uncomfortable places and at the most inconvenient times. And sex at the moment was not even close to something she wanted to consider.
She did look for magazine articles on having sex while pregnant, and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was normal to not want sex while pregnant. She read this was only temporary – that sick, tired, and just blah feeling. She definitely didn’t feel desirable. She yearned to feel the way she did when they were first married, and how they clung onto each other every night. She thought back to a couple months earlier when he started working later. Perhaps she could have changed her schedule, and maybe had dinner later in the evening to be with him. She really never told him how she felt, and never really asked to sit and have him talk to her. She also read that a sexless marriage can cause a man to become dejected and resentful. Was she doing this to her husband?
But then her mind returned to the laundry, and the lipstick she found on his shirt. She thought of the story her mother told about her grandparents, and decided to give Blake a chance to explain as well. Quickly, she pulled out her phone and sent him a text.
That evening, Crystal and her mother cuddled together and opened the journal again.
Chapter Nineteen
Believing in Miracles
Natalie’s Journal
Your father came home a week later with a rose in his hand. He told me he loved me more than life itself, and wrote me this poem. He called it, The Only Thing That Frightens Me.
There are a thousand ways to die in this world can’t you see;
creepy and painful almost turns out to be–
I could fall from a plane, whoops! No chute for me, or I could swim in the ocean and BE dinner you see.
I could drive on the highway; a head-on’s a bad deal, or I could go on safari and wind up THE meal.
I could run with the bulls but
Crystal recalled her last birthday when Blake sent her a text asking her not make dinner because he planned to take her out for the evening. He came home from work and instead of just walking in, he knocked on the door so she had to open it. When she did, he was holding a beautiful bouquet of roses. After she let him in with a swift kiss, she put the flowers in water and Blake told her they could not compare to her beauty.
They went to her favorite restaurant and after eating, the waitresses sang happy birthday to her. Then, Blake pulled out a present wrapped in gold paper with red hearts and a bright red ribbon. She could not have loved him any more than at that moment. She unwrapped the gift and inside she found a silver locket on a tiny silver chain.
He was so good to me , she thought.
Her hand went to her neck wrapping the locket around it. Maybe their problems were caused a little bit by both of them , she thought. Maybe I’m not being supportive to his feelings like I was when we were first married.
Crystal knew she had been irritable lately because she felt so fat and ugly. It was getting hard hauling a big belly around all the time without a break. She wanted to sleep on her belly again, just once so she could really get a good night’s sleep. Plus, she missed looking down and seeing her feet. Sometimes the baby just kicked in the most uncomfortable places and at the most inconvenient times. And sex at the moment was not even close to something she wanted to consider.
She did look for magazine articles on having sex while pregnant, and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was normal to not want sex while pregnant. She read this was only temporary – that sick, tired, and just blah feeling. She definitely didn’t feel desirable. She yearned to feel the way she did when they were first married, and how they clung onto each other every night. She thought back to a couple months earlier when he started working later. Perhaps she could have changed her schedule, and maybe had dinner later in the evening to be with him. She really never told him how she felt, and never really asked to sit and have him talk to her. She also read that a sexless marriage can cause a man to become dejected and resentful. Was she doing this to her husband?
But then her mind returned to the laundry, and the lipstick she found on his shirt. She thought of the story her mother told about her grandparents, and decided to give Blake a chance to explain as well. Quickly, she pulled out her phone and sent him a text.
That evening, Crystal and her mother cuddled together and opened the journal again.
Chapter Nineteen
Believing in Miracles
Natalie’s Journal
Your father came home a week later with a rose in his hand. He told me he loved me more than life itself, and wrote me this poem. He called it, The Only Thing That Frightens Me.
There are a thousand ways to die in this world can’t you see;
creepy and painful almost turns out to be–
I could fall from a plane, whoops! No chute for me, or I could swim in the ocean and BE dinner you see.
I could drive on the highway; a head-on’s a bad deal, or I could go on safari and wind up THE meal.
I could run with the bulls but
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