relationship with
him while you still can.”
Sabrina snagged a bottle of herbal tea from the café’s
cooler. “I see Dad twice a year for dental checkups. We email each other, send
each other birthday cards, and see each other over the holidays. We’re
cultivated.” She struggled with the cap. “Damn!”
“If you say so. Here, give it to me.” Her mother put down
the spatula, took the bottle, and popped it open with ease.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Counterclockwise, sweetie.” Nola handed it back to her with
a smile. “It’s all a matter of getting the direction right.”
Responsible Housemate Needed ASAP (Cadence
Corners-Central Austin)
Date: 11-07, 11:12PM CST
Reply to: [email protected]
Professional female, mid-30s, seeks gainfully employed,
same-age peer to share tastefully decorated historic home. Fully furnished except
for guest bedroom, adjoining bath (shower only) and unfinished attic. Split
space in two-car garage (please keep your side tidy). I have basic cable (if
you want a squillion channels, it’s on your dime). Will consider single pet if
properly vetted, impeccably trained, non-shedding, under 10 lbs. and crated or
boarded in your absence. Deposit is one month’s rent (plus cost of background
check). It is crucial to our respective welfares that you pay rent on time
every month. No couples, no breakfast cookers (have an aversion to grease
smell), no hoarders, no boozers, no indoor smokers, and no illegal drugs.
Contact Sabrina at sabrina@casadimarch… only if you meet
the above criteria.
**
From: gsloper@handyrandys…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
I saw your ad on Craigslist. I don’t have a steady job or
nothing and don’t have money for rent but was wondering if you’d trade lodging
for handyman’s services. I can do anything, lay carpet, insulation, sheetrock,
plumbing, etc. I clean. Greg.
**
From: luvmyhubby@thedeedsfamily…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
Dear Sabrina,
I am a single mother of three elementary-school-aged
boys. I’ve been out of the workforce for ten years, so it might be a while
before I get a job. But I have money left over from my divorce settlement, and
that should tide me over for a while. I know you’re probably looking for a
single gal without all that baggage. But would you consider me and my kids? The
boys could bunk in the attic. They would be happy living anywhere as long as
we’re all together. They stay with my ex-asshole, aka, “cheating bastard”, on
the weekends, so they would only be there during the week. The boys have a pet
(African Grey), but the damned parrot stays with the asshole, too.
Hope to hear from you.
Deanna Deeds
**
From: sl_ackerman@javathehutt…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
Hey, my name is Seth Ackerman. Me & my GF r looking 4
a room close 2 downtown. Shes 20, I’m 22. No pets, my sugarglidder died last
wk. Me & my GF have worked @ the same coffeehouse 4 2 mos so we got $$.
Have wkend giggs as a drummer in teh Hostages. Can we use teh garage 4
rehearsal space? U said no drugs, but R U 420 frendly?
Sent from my SmartPhone
**
From: imloomie@attygen…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
Hi, Sabrina!
I’m a single professional female, 35 years old,
nonsmoker, nondrinker, no drugs — you mean you have to ask? — and no
personal drama. I’ve worked as a paralegal for the Attorney General’s Office
for seven years and have a perfect credit score. Right now, I live in a small
rural community, and the cost of gas driving to work and back is just unreal.
There’s also not a lot for a single girl to do here.
There is one thing you should know: I do pit bull rescue —
and sometimes I take in Rottweilers and other large breeds. Sadly, a lot of
people dump their precious pups after a biting incident without bothering to
work with a professional dog whisperer. This makes me ashamed to be a part of
the human race.
Don’t worry, I place my “kids” as quickly as possible and
don’t have more than
him while you still can.”
Sabrina snagged a bottle of herbal tea from the café’s
cooler. “I see Dad twice a year for dental checkups. We email each other, send
each other birthday cards, and see each other over the holidays. We’re
cultivated.” She struggled with the cap. “Damn!”
“If you say so. Here, give it to me.” Her mother put down
the spatula, took the bottle, and popped it open with ease.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Counterclockwise, sweetie.” Nola handed it back to her with
a smile. “It’s all a matter of getting the direction right.”
Responsible Housemate Needed ASAP (Cadence
Corners-Central Austin)
Date: 11-07, 11:12PM CST
Reply to: [email protected]
Professional female, mid-30s, seeks gainfully employed,
same-age peer to share tastefully decorated historic home. Fully furnished except
for guest bedroom, adjoining bath (shower only) and unfinished attic. Split
space in two-car garage (please keep your side tidy). I have basic cable (if
you want a squillion channels, it’s on your dime). Will consider single pet if
properly vetted, impeccably trained, non-shedding, under 10 lbs. and crated or
boarded in your absence. Deposit is one month’s rent (plus cost of background
check). It is crucial to our respective welfares that you pay rent on time
every month. No couples, no breakfast cookers (have an aversion to grease
smell), no hoarders, no boozers, no indoor smokers, and no illegal drugs.
Contact Sabrina at sabrina@casadimarch… only if you meet
the above criteria.
**
From: gsloper@handyrandys…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
I saw your ad on Craigslist. I don’t have a steady job or
nothing and don’t have money for rent but was wondering if you’d trade lodging
for handyman’s services. I can do anything, lay carpet, insulation, sheetrock,
plumbing, etc. I clean. Greg.
**
From: luvmyhubby@thedeedsfamily…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
Dear Sabrina,
I am a single mother of three elementary-school-aged
boys. I’ve been out of the workforce for ten years, so it might be a while
before I get a job. But I have money left over from my divorce settlement, and
that should tide me over for a while. I know you’re probably looking for a
single gal without all that baggage. But would you consider me and my kids? The
boys could bunk in the attic. They would be happy living anywhere as long as
we’re all together. They stay with my ex-asshole, aka, “cheating bastard”, on
the weekends, so they would only be there during the week. The boys have a pet
(African Grey), but the damned parrot stays with the asshole, too.
Hope to hear from you.
Deanna Deeds
**
From: sl_ackerman@javathehutt…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
Hey, my name is Seth Ackerman. Me & my GF r looking 4
a room close 2 downtown. Shes 20, I’m 22. No pets, my sugarglidder died last
wk. Me & my GF have worked @ the same coffeehouse 4 2 mos so we got $$.
Have wkend giggs as a drummer in teh Hostages. Can we use teh garage 4
rehearsal space? U said no drugs, but R U 420 frendly?
Sent from my SmartPhone
**
From: imloomie@attygen…
To: sabrina@casadimarch…
Hi, Sabrina!
I’m a single professional female, 35 years old,
nonsmoker, nondrinker, no drugs — you mean you have to ask? — and no
personal drama. I’ve worked as a paralegal for the Attorney General’s Office
for seven years and have a perfect credit score. Right now, I live in a small
rural community, and the cost of gas driving to work and back is just unreal.
There’s also not a lot for a single girl to do here.
There is one thing you should know: I do pit bull rescue —
and sometimes I take in Rottweilers and other large breeds. Sadly, a lot of
people dump their precious pups after a biting incident without bothering to
work with a professional dog whisperer. This makes me ashamed to be a part of
the human race.
Don’t worry, I place my “kids” as quickly as possible and
don’t have more than
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