he
like?”
“Fun. Spontaneous. Carefree.”
“He scares you.”
“Like hell.”
Smiling
widely, Em looked satisfied. “Good. That
means you like him.”
“ Too
much.” Staring out the window, I sighed
in lament. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Em. It’s overwhelming.
There’s too much to think about, too much at stake. Sleeping with
him was supposed to be uncomplicated. This is anything
but.”
I didn’t
want to enter a relationship with Tate and learn to depend on him
only to have him walk away in the end. I had Levy to
thi nk about. Could I put him in danger
for an extended fling, or allow him to form an attachment only to
be equally devastated when Tate disappeared from his life? Then
there was the possibility that everything might work out, that this
wasn’t just a fling. He still had a tour to complete. When would I
see him again? And what if something did come out of Carter’s
video? My God, what if I did get a contract? How would we
juggle a relationship when we were both on the road? Worse yet, how
would I protect Levy from the media, and ultimately Grant? Whether
successful or not, dating Tate or not, staying instead of running
would have huge ramifications. I supposed I should’ve thought about
all this beforehand, but hindsight was always clearer than
foresight.
“ Take one
thing at a time, Cooper. You’re overthinking this.”
I don’t
know. Maybe Em was right. Maybe my
worrying was moot. “I don’t know if he even wants to see me again,”
I said, surprised with how much the notion bothered me. “The way I
left back there…maybe he took the hint I didn’t want him
around.”
“ He came
poking around once; he’ll come poking around
again ,” Em assured. “And when he does,
you’ll plead temporary insanity due to stress. You’ve got the story
to corroborate it.”
“He’d be smarter if he didn’t.”
“ Oh, stop
it. You’re worth it. You have to stop thinking about yourself as an
anchor and start thinking about yourself as a human being. Stop
allowing Grant to define who you are.”
My frown deepened. “I always thought I was
being a responsible adult and mother, but you make me sound
downright pathetic.”
“ You walked away from Tate Watkins, Singer,
Songwriter, Record Producer, and apparently the Sheik of Peaks.
When it comes to self-indulgence, you are pathetic.”
“ Wow, thanks
for giving it to me gently.”
“ Sometimes
the kid gloves gotta come off, Coop. And this was one of those
times. Now case th e tiny violin and pull
out the big girl panties. You have groveling to do next time you
see him.”
“ Thanks, I’m
going to do that right now.” Actually, I was going to call my
mother before she had a massive coronary, and do some laundry while we talked. I didn’t have the time for
the Laundromat, but I could wash the cushion covers and hang them
over the railing to dry.
“ Fine. I’m
going. I know when I’m being kicked out. Just don’t squander my
advice. There’re plenty of others out there who would heed what I
tell them.”
“ Em?” Em
paused, her palm flat against the door. I
wrung my hands together, fiddling nervously. “If you had to do it
over, would you do it again?”
“ In a
heartbeat.”
“ If I do
this,” I asked, “if I stay, would you teach me to
shoot?”
“ Sugar, I’ve
been waiting for you to ask. Just let me know when.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Ambitious. I like it.”
“ Scared,” I
clarified. “Shitless.”
“ Fear can be crippling, but it can also be a strong
motivator, especially when one comes between a mother and her
child. Think of Levy, Coop. Be stronger for him. Think of his life,
and not just his physical existence in the world. He deserves
better than a life on the run.”
“ I know he
does, but it doesn’t make the thought of
facing Grant any easier.”
“ I’m here.
Garris on is here. Your friends, your
parents are here. You’re not alone.”
Abandoning
the windowsill, I started tossing
like?”
“Fun. Spontaneous. Carefree.”
“He scares you.”
“Like hell.”
Smiling
widely, Em looked satisfied. “Good. That
means you like him.”
“ Too
much.” Staring out the window, I sighed
in lament. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Em. It’s overwhelming.
There’s too much to think about, too much at stake. Sleeping with
him was supposed to be uncomplicated. This is anything
but.”
I didn’t
want to enter a relationship with Tate and learn to depend on him
only to have him walk away in the end. I had Levy to
thi nk about. Could I put him in danger
for an extended fling, or allow him to form an attachment only to
be equally devastated when Tate disappeared from his life? Then
there was the possibility that everything might work out, that this
wasn’t just a fling. He still had a tour to complete. When would I
see him again? And what if something did come out of Carter’s
video? My God, what if I did get a contract? How would we
juggle a relationship when we were both on the road? Worse yet, how
would I protect Levy from the media, and ultimately Grant? Whether
successful or not, dating Tate or not, staying instead of running
would have huge ramifications. I supposed I should’ve thought about
all this beforehand, but hindsight was always clearer than
foresight.
“ Take one
thing at a time, Cooper. You’re overthinking this.”
I don’t
know. Maybe Em was right. Maybe my
worrying was moot. “I don’t know if he even wants to see me again,”
I said, surprised with how much the notion bothered me. “The way I
left back there…maybe he took the hint I didn’t want him
around.”
“ He came
poking around once; he’ll come poking around
again ,” Em assured. “And when he does,
you’ll plead temporary insanity due to stress. You’ve got the story
to corroborate it.”
“He’d be smarter if he didn’t.”
“ Oh, stop
it. You’re worth it. You have to stop thinking about yourself as an
anchor and start thinking about yourself as a human being. Stop
allowing Grant to define who you are.”
My frown deepened. “I always thought I was
being a responsible adult and mother, but you make me sound
downright pathetic.”
“ You walked away from Tate Watkins, Singer,
Songwriter, Record Producer, and apparently the Sheik of Peaks.
When it comes to self-indulgence, you are pathetic.”
“ Wow, thanks
for giving it to me gently.”
“ Sometimes
the kid gloves gotta come off, Coop. And this was one of those
times. Now case th e tiny violin and pull
out the big girl panties. You have groveling to do next time you
see him.”
“ Thanks, I’m
going to do that right now.” Actually, I was going to call my
mother before she had a massive coronary, and do some laundry while we talked. I didn’t have the time for
the Laundromat, but I could wash the cushion covers and hang them
over the railing to dry.
“ Fine. I’m
going. I know when I’m being kicked out. Just don’t squander my
advice. There’re plenty of others out there who would heed what I
tell them.”
“ Em?” Em
paused, her palm flat against the door. I
wrung my hands together, fiddling nervously. “If you had to do it
over, would you do it again?”
“ In a
heartbeat.”
“ If I do
this,” I asked, “if I stay, would you teach me to
shoot?”
“ Sugar, I’ve
been waiting for you to ask. Just let me know when.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Ambitious. I like it.”
“ Scared,” I
clarified. “Shitless.”
“ Fear can be crippling, but it can also be a strong
motivator, especially when one comes between a mother and her
child. Think of Levy, Coop. Be stronger for him. Think of his life,
and not just his physical existence in the world. He deserves
better than a life on the run.”
“ I know he
does, but it doesn’t make the thought of
facing Grant any easier.”
“ I’m here.
Garris on is here. Your friends, your
parents are here. You’re not alone.”
Abandoning
the windowsill, I started tossing
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