Someday the Rabbi Will Leave by Harry Kemelman Page A

What I’m really concerned about is the difference among synagogues. For one thing, there seems to be a general difference between the three groups, Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox.”
    â€œSure, because it depends on the size and wealth of the congregation. A lot of Orthodox congregations tend to be small. Sometimes, they are what remains in the city when there has been a general move to the suburbs.”
    â€œYes, I was aware of that, but still it’s a little surprising. Salaries of teachers in the religious schools—taking in differences between cities and small towns—are remarkably similar. There is, however, a wide difference in the salaries of cantors.”
    â€œThere’s a wide difference in voices, too,” Halperin offered.
    â€œOf course. But now rabbis’ salaries, once you make adjustments for size and social status of the congregation and so on, seem to be quite level.”
    â€œIs that so?”
    â€œWhich is why I wonder at the salary we’re paying Rabbi Small. It’s considerably less than other rabbis in comparable situations are getting.”
    â€œMaybe it’s because he never asked for a raise.”
    â€œAnd others do?”
    â€œI’m sure they do, or their party does,” said Halperin.
    â€œWhat do you mean by their party? What party is that?”
    Halperin leaned back in his chair and said, “Let me teach you something about rabbis, Mr. Magnuson. A rabbi is in a vulnerable position, like any public servant, like a mayor, or a school principal. There are always people in the congregation who don’t cotton to him because they were friends of the rabbi he succeeded, or because their wives think his wife is too hoity-toity, or because they don’t like the way he parts his hair, or for any other reason that people don’t like other people. He has a contract, but it’s a service contract which doesn’t mean too much. If they should want to get rid of him, they can, contract or no contract, by making things unpleasant for him. And since he’s apt to get involved in controversy just by reason of what he might say in some sermon, there’s always a group who’d like to get rid of him. So the smart operator, as soon as he comes to a congregation, sets about organizing a group of friends, associates, what have you—in effect, a party—preferably from among the important members of the congregation.”
    â€œI see.”
    â€œThis party backs you and stands by you in a fight. On things like salary, they go to bat for you. If the rabbi is shy about asking for a raise, or for a sabbatical year in Israel, or whatever, they are the ones who raise the matter in the board.”
    â€œI get it. And who is in Rabbi Small’s party?”
    â€œThat’s just it. He doesn’t have a party. Oh, there are people who like him, but that doesn’t prevent Rabbi Small from disagreeing with them, or fighting them on a particular question that he feels strongly about. Another rabbi would soft-pedal his opposition, compromise a little, for the sake of friendship and not to antagonize his supporters, but not Rabbi Small. You might say that he has no political sense whatsoever. Or you might say he just doesn’t give a damn.”
    Magnuson nodded. Then, smiling, he said, “You know, I think the first thing I ought to do is see to it that Rabbi Small gets a raise.”
    Halperin looked his surprise.
    â€œAnd not just a token raise,” Magnuson continued, “but a whopping big raise that will put him on a par with other rabbis in comparable congregations. I have in mind a raise of about six thousand a year.”
    â€œBut—but—I don’t get it.”
    Magnuson smiled broadly and leaning back in his chair, he said, “Let me teach you something about business management, Mr. Halperin. When you take over a company, it’s important that you get complete control of the