making plans with you in advance if he wasn’t interested in you in a more-than-friends way,” Skylar said confidently. “If he just wanted a fuck-buddy, he wouldn’t do all that. You’d get a text at two in the morning that says ‘Hey, can I come over?’”
“But you should still talk about it with him.” Natalie was firm too. “If you don’t, and both of you have different ideas about what you’re doing, feelings could get hurt.”
I sighed. “I know. We should talk. The truth is, I’m not sure there’s room in his life for a girlfriend, let alone anything beyond that.”
“Why not?” Skylar asked. “Plenty of single parents date and get remarried.”
“Yes, but his situation is a little different. His son, Scotty, has autism, and routine is really important to him. Levi is really sensitive to that.”
“Autism,” Skylar said, her brow furrowed. “OK, you’re going to give me the You’re Dumb and I’m a Doctor look, but is that where you don’t talk? I just remember the one autistic boy in my class not speaking much, if at all. And he wouldn’t make eye contact.”
“No doctor look,” I said, holding up my hands. “It’s a fair question. Autism looks different in everyone, but no, it doesn’t mean you don’t talk. Sometimes there are language delays, and some kids are nonverbal, but plenty of kids with autism are very social and talkative. Some don’t like eye contact, and some are fine with it.”
“So what is it, then?” Natalie asked.
“Well, it’s a neurological condition characterized by lots of different things to varying degrees. Often there are issues with social interaction and understanding. Some kids might have sensory issues. Some kids struggle with repetitive behaviors. Some have anxiety and/or OCD.” I shook my head. “And some might have none of those things. It’s really complex.”
“Maybe he’s like Sebastian,” Skylar said hopefully. “He struggled as a kid too, but therapy really helped.”
“I don’t know for sure what he’s like, but from what Levi has said, Scotty gets overwhelmed easily. He needs sameness to feel calm.”
“Poor kid,” Natalie said. “And poor Levi. That’s got to be so tough, being a single parent of a child with those kinds of issues.”
I nodded. “I think it is tough. And he’s such a good dad. Totally devoted to his son.”
Skylar sighed and looked off in the distance. “That’s so hot. Why does that have to be so hot? It makes things difficult.”
“It does,” I agreed, “but it shows that, unlike a lot of other hot guys I’ve met, he’s actually responsible and selfless. He knows how to take care of someone.”
“Well, he certainly knows how to take care of you.” Skylar looked at me again and wiggled her eyebrows. “So what are you thinking? I mean, what if he just wants to be friends?”
I lifted my shoulders. “Then I guess I’d be his friend. But I don’t think I’d sleep with him anymore. It would be too confusing. Although…” I closed my eyes, feeling his hands on my body again. “That would be really hard. It’s all I can think about.”
“Ha! You fiend!” Skylar hit my shoulder. “Welcome to the club.”
“Honestly, it’s really ridiculous how much I think about sex with him,” I said. “I’ve never been this way before.”
“That’s a good sign,” said Natalie. “And you don’t have to look so guilty about it. It’s totally OK, even if you guys do stay just friends for a while. No need to put a label on things. I’m just saying it’s good to be on the same page.”
I agreed with Natalie that Levi and I should talk, but I was also reluctant to break the spell we were under. This feeling, this incredible wanting , and knowing I was wanted in return, felt like magic.
I didn’t want to look behind the curtain just yet.
I arrived at Jillian’s with groceries at quarter after six, and as I stood waiting for her to answer the door, my heart beat faster. I’d
“But you should still talk about it with him.” Natalie was firm too. “If you don’t, and both of you have different ideas about what you’re doing, feelings could get hurt.”
I sighed. “I know. We should talk. The truth is, I’m not sure there’s room in his life for a girlfriend, let alone anything beyond that.”
“Why not?” Skylar asked. “Plenty of single parents date and get remarried.”
“Yes, but his situation is a little different. His son, Scotty, has autism, and routine is really important to him. Levi is really sensitive to that.”
“Autism,” Skylar said, her brow furrowed. “OK, you’re going to give me the You’re Dumb and I’m a Doctor look, but is that where you don’t talk? I just remember the one autistic boy in my class not speaking much, if at all. And he wouldn’t make eye contact.”
“No doctor look,” I said, holding up my hands. “It’s a fair question. Autism looks different in everyone, but no, it doesn’t mean you don’t talk. Sometimes there are language delays, and some kids are nonverbal, but plenty of kids with autism are very social and talkative. Some don’t like eye contact, and some are fine with it.”
“So what is it, then?” Natalie asked.
“Well, it’s a neurological condition characterized by lots of different things to varying degrees. Often there are issues with social interaction and understanding. Some kids might have sensory issues. Some kids struggle with repetitive behaviors. Some have anxiety and/or OCD.” I shook my head. “And some might have none of those things. It’s really complex.”
“Maybe he’s like Sebastian,” Skylar said hopefully. “He struggled as a kid too, but therapy really helped.”
“I don’t know for sure what he’s like, but from what Levi has said, Scotty gets overwhelmed easily. He needs sameness to feel calm.”
“Poor kid,” Natalie said. “And poor Levi. That’s got to be so tough, being a single parent of a child with those kinds of issues.”
I nodded. “I think it is tough. And he’s such a good dad. Totally devoted to his son.”
Skylar sighed and looked off in the distance. “That’s so hot. Why does that have to be so hot? It makes things difficult.”
“It does,” I agreed, “but it shows that, unlike a lot of other hot guys I’ve met, he’s actually responsible and selfless. He knows how to take care of someone.”
“Well, he certainly knows how to take care of you.” Skylar looked at me again and wiggled her eyebrows. “So what are you thinking? I mean, what if he just wants to be friends?”
I lifted my shoulders. “Then I guess I’d be his friend. But I don’t think I’d sleep with him anymore. It would be too confusing. Although…” I closed my eyes, feeling his hands on my body again. “That would be really hard. It’s all I can think about.”
“Ha! You fiend!” Skylar hit my shoulder. “Welcome to the club.”
“Honestly, it’s really ridiculous how much I think about sex with him,” I said. “I’ve never been this way before.”
“That’s a good sign,” said Natalie. “And you don’t have to look so guilty about it. It’s totally OK, even if you guys do stay just friends for a while. No need to put a label on things. I’m just saying it’s good to be on the same page.”
I agreed with Natalie that Levi and I should talk, but I was also reluctant to break the spell we were under. This feeling, this incredible wanting , and knowing I was wanted in return, felt like magic.
I didn’t want to look behind the curtain just yet.
I arrived at Jillian’s with groceries at quarter after six, and as I stood waiting for her to answer the door, my heart beat faster. I’d
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