Soft Apocalypses

Soft Apocalypses by Lucy Snyder

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Authors: Lucy Snyder
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there’s a 40% chance they’ll never have a cure if the collapse comes. I feel your pain, Martin, really I do ... a shot of cheese mold extract would have kept me from dying of consumption, but the doctors in my day couldn’t figure out something as simple as that.”
    “What can I do, sir? Is there anything I can do?”
    “You can reverse course and come clean to the authorities, if you want. It’ll cost your family their fortune, but the fraud we’ve engineered has added 15% to the probability that the nation will collapse. If you reverse the economic damage, things may stabilize. And then, you have a 60% chance of pleading down to probation if you pay back all the money, and if that happens you’ll be very likely to die in your eighties, as your father did. Comfortable, once again a respected pillar of the community, forgiven of your sins in society’s eyes, provided you can resist the temptation to sell me off.”
    Martin almost said “I wouldn’t sell you,” but clearly Jay knew what lay in the basement of his heart. It did no good to lie to his deathly confidante.
    “So I come clean and maybe get thirty more years of living,” Martin mused. “What’s thirty years?”
    “To many, it is a lifetime,” the skeleton observed.
    “But in the grand scheme, it’s nothing,” Martin replied, pacing. “All my money, all my power, gone, like that . And then what? To be mostly forgotten in fifty years, entirely forgotten in two hundred?”
    “I don’t know what lies beyond,” Jay replied. “I surely tasted it before I was bound to these bones, but I cannot remember whether I took my leisure in Heaven, suffered in Hell, or simply waited in darkness.”
    “I can’t count on a happy afterlife, not after everything I’ve done. Is there any other option for me here? Is there a way ... to continue?”
    The skeleton was silent for a moment. “I do know of a way you could become immortal, but be warned that it involves great sacrifice and the blackest of magic. Among other debasements, you will have to spill the heart’s blood of your close kin, and then do worse. One of your daughters would do.”
    Martin flinched. “I couldn’t murder one of my babies. They’re spoiled little brats like their mother most of the time and I’ll be damned if I want to hand my companies over to them ... but I could never hurt either one of them.” He took a deep breath. “Would anyone else fit the bill?”
    “As a matter of fact, yes; there are others, and one in particular who can best be put to use....”
     
    “On second thought, maybe the question of why I didn’t run away isn’t so complicated after all,” Martin said to Raymond. “Ultimately, I knew that trying to escape to another country wouldn’t work out so well for me, whether there’s a bounty on my life or not.”
    “What are you going to do to protect yourself?” Raymond asked.
    “Nothing,” Martin replied.
    In response to Raymond’s shocked expression, he replied: “Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suicidal—I love life and being alive. Love it. Maybe I’m not quite as indulgent as my father. He loved his drink, and he loved his women, right to the end. He was still tomcatting around in his seventies, and he even fathered a son the rest of us never knew about. You, in fact.”
    It took a moment for Martin’s words to sink in. “W-what? You mean I’m—”
    “My half-brother. Exactly! Nice to finally meet you, half-brother!” Martin clapped him on the arm.
    Raymond seemed dumbfounded, so Martin continued, speaking fast as a salesman. “It might seem like an amazing coincidence we’d encounter each other in prison, but let me tell you, I took great pains to make sure we’d meet right in this very cell. All told, I must have paid out two million dollars in bribes to prison officials, FBI agents, forgers, and the recruiting director and your bosses at Groshawk, all so we’d be able to spend a little quality time

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