Socially Awkward by Stephanie Haddad Page A

mattered what we thought. Noah was training us, and that was that.
     
    “Come on, grumps,” I nudged her with my elbow as we followed Noah to the mats. “Is it really so bad?”
     
    “I guess not,” she sighed, unwinding her arms. “I’m just… concerned.”
     
    “You haven’t heard from him?”
     
    Wordlessly, Claire shook her head.
     
    “Claire…” I let her name linger on the air until she turned to me. If Noah could hear us talking, he didn’t let on—which I thought was rathe r polite of him. “Are you guys—”
     
    “I don’t know what we are,” she said, her voice strained. She heaved a deep sigh and took a moment to gain control of her vocal chords. “It’s the same story every time, Jen. Why do I always attract these kinds of guys? ”
     
    I gave her a sympathetic look and squeezed her hand. There wasn’t time to get into things right now, since we had arrived at the mats. Noah couldn’t as easily pretend not to hear, and it would have been really awkward to just keep talking with him staring at us.  I knew t hat he knew about Claire and Tom, but she didn’t. Now was not the time to get into it.
     
    Noah started us out with strength training first and I was surprised how well my body was starting to adapt to our workouts. It was still tough, no doubt about it, but my muscles were responding better . I was getting stronger and I could actually tell it was happening. Maybe Claire or Noah wouldn’t see it yet, but I could feel it. I wanted to keep going, to see how far I could go.
     
    Sweating, aching, and exhausted, when it was time for our break, I started to notice a new annoyance. All this activity was making my ears sweaty and, thus, my hearing aids were slipping around . There’s nothing worse than perspiring underneath your hearing aids. From what I’ve been told, it’s a lot like w earing ear bud headphones on a super-hot day or during a long work out —just gross and slimy . Claire looked over just as I started to fidget with the right one.
     
    “I thought that might happen eventually,” she said, offering me a clean towel. “Why not take them out? You can hear well enough to know what’s going on, right? I think you’ll be okay.”
     
    I stared at her for a moment, struck by the idea. Part of me was horrified. Being in public without my hearing aids, while I looked more ‘normal’ that way, made me extremely vulnerable. I hated them, but not having them was even worse for me. I found myself staring at people’s mouths to lip read—well, more than usual—and I had to ask for repetitions a lot. I really, really hated it. But the rest of me knew I would be so much more comfortable without them sliding around in my ears.
     
    Besides, if I was going to look like Olivia in a few days, I needed to work my butt off with nothing stopping me. As this thought passed across my face, Claire took the decision into her own hands .
     
    “Come on, Noah won’t mind,” she said, standing up. “I’ll let him know so he can make sure you make eye contact before he says something.”
     
    Springing up, I grabbed her arm. “No, Claire! Don’t tell him.”
     
    She laughed, sliding her arm from my grip. “He’s a professional, Jen. It’ll be fine.”
     
    Too shocked to do anything, I watched in frozen horror as Claire walked over to Noah, leaned in to ward him , and said something. Of course I couldn’t hear it, I never can, but they both looked at me simultaneously. Then Noah nodded to her, smiled at me, and Claire walked away.
     
    “I hate you,” I told my beloved sister when she returned.
     
    “You’ll be thanking me later.” She downed a gulp of w ater then pulled me up to stand beside her. “Come on, leave the extra pair of ears with your bag and let’s hit the treadmill.”
     
    I sighed, mulling it over in my head. Worth it? Not worth it? Noah had already been directly informed of my impairment, thanks to Claire, so there wasn’t much use in hiding it