So Totally by Gwen Hayes

in the eye. “Why am I still here, Nate? You’re done with me, obviously.”
    “This isn’t what it looks like.”
    “ This isn’t anything but over.” I pushed him but he wouldn’t budge. “What is wrong with you? Haven’t you done enough damage yet?” My cheeks flushed so hot. I wasn’t going to make it. The tethers were snapping and I was going to blubber like a baby.
    He grabbed my forearms. “Will you listen? Joy just stopped by. She’s been here all of ten minutes.”
    “Fine. Can I go now?” Because it really didn’t change much.
    “I swear there’s no one else.”
    I really didn’t want to have this conversation in front of Joy, but I was coming out of shock and realized I’d graduated to pissed off. “I get it, Nate. There’s no one else…but I think what you mean is there is no one. No one at all.” Breathe, Carrington . “I came here to force you to be a man and break things off with me to my face. But I’m sort of over it now.”
    Joy lit a cigarette behind me. I looked over my shoulder at the noise and noticed she’d sat on the top step to watch the show.
    She said, “Don’t stop on my account. He’s had this coming for a couple of years.”
    He snorted indignantly, “Go home, Joy.”
    She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She pulled herself off the step and Nate tugged me to the side to let her pass. She stopped when we were eye to eye. “I’m not your biggest fan.”
    “Really?” She didn’t move, just stared at me, assessing me. I raised my eyebrows. “But?”
    She looked over my shoulder, catching Nate’s gaze before she returned to me and smiled. “But don’t let him get away with his shit.”
    I still hated her. Except for the part of me that liked her. I turned to Nate, sweeping my gaze over his face, trying to memorize it while my gut clenched, because I knew I had to leave and I was going to miss him. I hated the confusion I felt—the way my traitorous heart still wanted to be with him and my barbed-wire pride wanted me to knee him in the balls and run home to Mommy.
    “Will you come upstairs?” Seeing my hesitation he added, “Please. I know I’ve been a jerk. I’m sorry.”
    “I’m pretty much running on empty. Maybe another time.”
    “Please.”
    “And you intend to explain everything?” I asked.
    “Yes, everything. I swear.”
    “Am I going to like your explanation?”
    “Probably not.”

O KAY, so I went upstairs. Don’t judge. You know you would have too.
    When he was sure I wasn’t going to bolt out the door, he grabbed a couple of Cokes from the little fridge.
    My can was different than his. “This is the classic one.”
    He shrugged. “You don’t like the new one. I bought you a couple cans.”
    I set the unopened can on the counter.
    “Now you’re mad that I bought you—”
    “No. I’m mad because you’re playing games with my head.” I crossed the room, moving seemed to help the sensation that I was going to explode. “You do all these… things …that make me think you like me. The daily coffee, the Coke…”
    “The kissing?” he added.
    “The kissing,” I agreed. Definitely the kissing. “Nate, what happened? What did I do wrong?” You know, when you trampled my heart . “Because everything was fine and then you turned singularly frosty.”
    He rubbed the back of his neck, hanging his head low. “I know. I’m sorry.”
    I brushed my hands together. “Great. That takes care of that. I’m glad everything is back to normal now.”
    He looked up hopefully. I squashed his hope with an eye roll.
    “Please. You know I’m not serious. Sorry is better than not sorry, but not as good as sorry-plus-logical-explanation.”
    He went to the window, crossing his arms over his chest and gritting his teeth. “I don’t have a logical explanation. Life has sort of flipped me around a little too much lately for logical anything.”
    “Really? Did you recently travel backwards one-fourth of a century?”
    “No.”
    “I